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Old 02-23-2013, 06:54 PM
 
1,333 posts, read 1,969,800 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beachmel View Post

Look, many of us had some really bad experiences in school, when we were children. The thing of it is, you have to remember that those other people....well...they were children too. Some of those most "hateful" kids, end up turning into the most wonderful adults.
This is my issue though. I have matured and changed a lot emotionally and mentally over the last 4 years. I had a falling out with two friends in 11th grade and they live very close and I see one of them frequently. I was being friendly to her figuring that everything that happened between us is now gone and we can start over. I was wrong. Apparently after we first ran into each other, she went home and told the other friend that we hung out and she was reminded of what happened so now when I see her she ignores me and gives me dirty looks. I don't even remember what happened between us but it happened when I was in 11th grade 5 years ago! I think it's time for them to get over it and move on. I have.

There is one guy that bullied me a lot in high school. He was and still is a hardcore stoner who has had run ins with the law about drinking and driving. He works at a nearby store and I refuse to go in there because even seeing him reminds me of the crap he put me through. Stuff like that I can't just "get over".

Last edited by bradleyyo; 02-23-2013 at 07:19 PM..
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Old 02-23-2013, 07:51 PM
 
Location: Western Washington
8,004 posts, read 10,007,075 times
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The beauty and reality of life, even though you might not always get to see it happen? Karma has a way of evening things out in the end. We write our own futures. You can not drop a stone into a pond without creating ripples which reach from shore to shore. The larger the stone you throw, the larger the ripples. Of course we're all affected by others' behavior and treatment. How much and for how long, you let it affect you, is entirely your choice.
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Old 02-23-2013, 07:52 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,894 posts, read 17,203,069 times
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It is hard to believe that you wouldn't "recognize" someone or they wouldn't "recognize" you after only 10 to 15 years after high school.

I'm 60 years old and visit my former hometown a few times a year. Almost every visit I run into someone that I know in the grocery store or in a restaurant. We always recognize each other, even if we don't remember each other names. How different can you look? Even if you have lost or gained weight or changed your hair color your facial and body structure is still the same.
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Old 02-23-2013, 11:43 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pikantari View Post
My 20th reunion went by almost a couple of years ago, and there were no reunions before it. The things they had planned....I just didn't care to go...
My 10 year reunion has just passed and I didn't bother attending. I haven't seen any of those people in 10 years and I could care less about visiting with any of them as they are completely irrelevant. Plus, everyone would be fake, talking up their careers and relationships. I cringe thinking about it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by beachmel View Post
Some of those most "hateful" kids, end up turning into the most wonderful adults.
Nah, a leopard never loses its stripes. Ass hole kids grow up to be ass hole adults. They may learn how to fake being nice at some point because they have to, but stick around long enough and you'll see they are still ass holes.

Last edited by statisticsnerd; 02-24-2013 at 12:04 AM..
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Old 02-24-2013, 12:21 AM
 
Location: Location: Location
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I went to two high schools in two different states. At one, I had a normal time - no bullies, no snooty kids. At the other, I hated it. The kids were mostly in the lower economic class; same as I; and they bullied one another! The kids with money just ignored the rest of us. It was so bad, I left school without graduating.

I moved to a small town far enough away from both the H.S. locations that there is relatively little chance of bumping into anyone from my youth. And I doubt we'd realize it if we did since it's been 60 years since we were seniors and now we're "seniors"! I did manage to locate my best friend from the first school and we talk on the phone several times a year. It's like we were never separated. A lot of the others are deceased.

Running into someone - anyone - from the first school would be okay since we were all congenial/compatible. If I met someone from the second school, I might be civil, but we don't have any common bonds that would encourage anything further. I don't, however, harbor any resentment. Too many other events have occurred that take precedence on that list.
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Old 02-24-2013, 05:34 AM
 
Location: Western Washington
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Quote:
Originally Posted by statisticsnerd View Post
My 10 year reunion has just passed and I didn't bother attending. I haven't seen any of those people in 10 years and I could care less about visiting with any of them as they are completely irrelevant. Plus, everyone would be fake, talking up their careers and relationships. I cringe thinking about it.



Nah, a leopard never loses its stripes. Ass hole kids grow up to be ass hole adults. They may learn how to fake being nice at some point because they have to, but stick around long enough and you'll see they are still ass holes.

This has a whole lot more to do with YOUR expectations and views than reality. Sad, but true. Perhaps it's simply you who hasn't changed.
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Old 02-24-2013, 05:40 AM
 
Location: Western Washington
8,004 posts, read 10,007,075 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bradleyyo View Post
This is my issue though. I have matured and changed a lot emotionally and mentally over the last 4 years. I had a falling out with two friends in 11th grade and they live very close and I see one of them frequently. I was being friendly to her figuring that everything that happened between us is now gone and we can start over. I was wrong. Apparently after we first ran into each other, she went home and told the other friend that we hung out and she was reminded of what happened so now when I see her she ignores me and gives me dirty looks. I don't even remember what happened between us but it happened when I was in 11th grade 5 years ago! I think it's time for them to get over it and move on. I have.

There is one guy that bullied me a lot in high school. He was and still is a hardcore stoner who has had run ins with the law about drinking and driving. He works at a nearby store and I refuse to go in there because even seeing him reminds me of the crap he put me through. Stuff like that I can't just "get over".

It's nice that you've given opposing viewpoints in your post. On one hand, you're saying how it FEELS to have someone still hold a grudge against you, after 5 years. Yes, it hurts...because you don't feel like you're the same person now. On the other hand, you're saying that you're holding a grudge against someone who bullied you back in school.

Obviously, the guy still has issues. The question is...with the guy who's still messed up....what came first, mental health issues that caused the substance abuse, or substance abuse that's caused mental health issues? If I were you, sure.....I might avoid the guy, but at the same time, I'd be feeling a little sorry for him. Clearly, his life totally sucks, or he wouldn't be trying to mask reality with mind-altering substances.
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Old 02-24-2013, 10:38 AM
 
28,906 posts, read 46,593,274 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by statisticsnerd View Post
My 10 year reunion has just passed and I didn't bother attending. I haven't seen any of those people in 10 years and I could care less about visiting with any of them as they are completely irrelevant. Plus, everyone would be fake, talking up their careers and relationships. I cringe thinking about it.



Nah, a leopard never loses its stripes. Ass hole kids grow up to be ass hole adults. They may learn how to fake being nice at some point because they have to, but stick around long enough and you'll see they are still ass holes.
Actually they often do. And if you didn't bother to attend your 10th reunion, how would you know?
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Old 02-24-2013, 10:46 AM
 
26,579 posts, read 52,064,513 times
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I've been to a few reunions and maybe going to a smaller High School with 250 in my graduating class didn't leave room for lots of trouble makers...

There certainly were cliques... the nerds, jocks, stoners, drama club... etc.

By the time graduation came around... we really did come together as one class... no one went to jail and only one left because of pregnancy...

I guess the biggest secret was one of the Seniors was married... still is to this day.
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Old 02-24-2013, 02:16 PM
 
Location: Western Washington
8,004 posts, read 10,007,075 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
Actually they often do. And if you didn't bother to attend your 10th reunion, how would you know?
Most of the people I've kept in touch with over the years have definitely changed. A few of them had "relationship issues" when they were in school, but as they got older and we all opened up about our childhoods, it was heartbreaking to hear some of the horrible things that were going on in their home lives. Only when people like that get out on their own and away from their families, do you really find out who they are.
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