U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 02-27-2013, 08:17 PM
 
10,720 posts, read 17,449,705 times
Reputation: 9920

Advertisements

Change the title to "How do you deal with irrational and angry people?"

So a colleague of mine is clearly and well recognized in general for being irrational. He is also known to have an enormous temper. So today I tried to help him but he saw my attempt as me trying to harm him or hurt him. Knowing that he is irrational and has a huge temper, I was the bigger person and apologized to him to quell his anger. I explained my intention and he didn't believe me and thought that I was trying to harm him. The reality is I have to work with him and I don't particularly care for drama at work otherwise I would have fought back.

I know I made the right decision and in the long run, it was good that I spoke with him immediately which did quell his anger to a large degree. That being said, I can't help but feel anger and guilt now. I know what I did was the right thing but this person is such an irrational person that you want to tell him off. How do you deal with crazy people? On some level you don't care because you know they are crazy and can't be rationalized with. But on another level, you feel guilty for not standing up for yourself when you did nothing wrong. How do you deal with those who are irrational? When do you stand up versus letting it go?

Last edited by azriverfan.; 02-27-2013 at 09:29 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 02-27-2013, 09:19 PM
 
Location: Western Colorado
11,090 posts, read 12,475,857 times
Reputation: 26116
I ignore them. No time for drama and chaotic people. Telling a lunatic off is just going to enrage them even more.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-27-2013, 09:24 PM
 
10,720 posts, read 17,449,705 times
Reputation: 9920
Quote:
Originally Posted by jim9251 View Post
I ignore them. No time for drama and chaotic people. Telling a lunatic off is just going to enrage them even more.
Thank You, I appreciate the response. That was how I felt. It just wasn't worth it. Telling them off only makes it worse.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-27-2013, 10:56 PM
 
Location: Old Town Alexandria
14,505 posts, read 23,779,649 times
Reputation: 8838
You cant reason with crazy.

People who thrive on chaos and drama will not have me as a captive audience. Been there done that, never again.

Unfortunately, it seems we only learn this after a bad experience. Protect yourself first, if you have to work with the person.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-27-2013, 11:13 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,172,097 times
Reputation: 22373
We often end up having no choice but walk on eggshells around these folks, especially in a work setting. None of us wants to escalate the drama so we tend to be the one to apologize and try to minimize things in an attempt to avoid the "rager" behavior.

It is not always possible to stay out of their line of sight and of course, these are usually kind of paranoid people or the types who take things too personally . . . so despite all the good intentions and working at staying out of their way and not doing anything to set them off -- because they are basically irrational about other people's motivations -- there are just going to be times we set them off without meaning to or even deserving the wrath.

It's a frustrating and sometimes downright sickening feeling to know the only way to quell the craziness is to apologize when we know we did nothing to deserve being targeted, but in the long run - that really is the best way to handle these folks. They are disordered in some way and we just have to be the bigger person and suck it up sometimes to keep the peace (or try to lessen the rage).

I am so sorry you are having to deal with this, azriverfan. :-(
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-27-2013, 11:21 PM
 
Location: Staten Island, New York
3,681 posts, read 6,052,245 times
Reputation: 3621
Is this person your superior?

I usually just stare and them, blinking and then ask calmly "Why are you so upset?" I don't let them get to me. There's no way I'm going to let someone like that give me an ulcer.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-27-2013, 11:51 PM
 
Location: Viña del Mar, Chile
16,411 posts, read 26,238,678 times
Reputation: 16496
Not sure.

People tend to just ignore me though
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-28-2013, 12:02 AM
 
4,728 posts, read 4,474,159 times
Reputation: 9039
They are not worth my time, so, I don't let them bother me.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-28-2013, 12:22 AM
 
10,720 posts, read 17,449,705 times
Reputation: 9920
Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post
We often end up having no choice but walk on eggshells around these folks, especially in a work setting. None of us wants to escalate the drama so we tend to be the one to apologize and try to minimize things in an attempt to avoid the "rager" behavior.

It is not always possible to stay out of their line of sight and of course, these are usually kind of paranoid people or the types who take things too personally . . . so despite all the good intentions and working at staying out of their way and not doing anything to set them off -- because they are basically irrational about other people's motivations -- there are just going to be times we set them off without meaning to or even deserving the wrath.

It's a frustrating and sometimes downright sickening feeling to know the only way to quell the craziness is to apologize when we know we did nothing to deserve being targeted, but in the long run - that really is the best way to handle these folks. They are disordered in some way and we just have to be the bigger person and suck it up sometimes to keep the peace (or try to lessen the rage).

I am so sorry you are having to deal with this, azriverfan. :-(
Yes, it's unfortunate. Standing up for yourself is actually worse because of the drama he will create.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-28-2013, 02:50 AM
 
Location: Florida
5,965 posts, read 5,761,055 times
Reputation: 1590
It's that scenario you described and so many like it that make our journey like walking through a land mine or dancing with the devil. I wish I had an answer. But it seems that you already know the answer. Sucks though. But it is what it is.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top