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Old 02-28-2013, 03:10 PM
 
2,677 posts, read 3,854,632 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilac110 View Post
But you see, that's not really true. Didn't you say the new job was accessible by public transportation? If so, why couldn't her mother just take that home? How come everyone feels that someone HAS to pick her up? If she were forced to fend for herself a little more often, she might put a little more forethought into her actions.

Also, the multiquote button is right next to the quote button on the bottom right of a post. If you click a bunch of those, it adds the posts to a queue. When you get to the last post you'd like to quote, use the regular quote button, and all will appear in your reply.

I don't recall saying anything about public transport but where she was that day, no, there is no bus sevice. Her interview today is also not accessible by bus. These are new and developing areas and the City has not run the bus down that yet.

You are right about the fact that she almost refuses to take the bus. Makes my GF drive her around. Orlando is not the most accessible city, but there are some places she can get to by bus.
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Old 02-28-2013, 03:13 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RespectMyAuthoritah View Post
Providing assistance to an aging parent can be a challenge. Have you or SO had an opp to check with your state's Dept/Division of Aging/Elder Assistance [guessing you're in the US?]? Depending on income level there may be some services your MIL might be eligible for. The available services may vary from state to state if state funded but federally-funded programs would be consistent. I have an elderly & disabled neighbor who gets discounted taxi service [I think it's 1/2 price?] which she uses to get to & from Dr's appts otherwise she uses a reduced-fare bus pass; I also have a couple other elderly neighbors who get groceries delivered & housekeeping services provided by assigned caregivers. Also, I think there's a federally-funded program that provides assistance with employment for either 55+ or 60+. Your state's Aging/Elder Division would be a better resource/referral for the programs in your MIL's area. Best Wishes.
Thanks for this. I have looked into some options but she almost makes too much for everything here in Florida. I suggested she go to the senior center, I'm sure they have some resources there. She refuses - says she doesn't want to be around old people. Go figure.

Honestly, she doesn't want any of this. She wants her own car and a 4 bedroom house and this and that. Everytime my GF goes over there she complains and plays the victim. Like "oh no the IRS is taking all my money, cry cry." The IRS is not taking all her money, she went to a crook accountant, who got her a $10K refund by listing a fraudulent $29K medical bill and guess what, now she has to pay it back. I don't know how much sympathy other people have, but me, none in this situation. You gotta be a little smarter than that.
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Old 02-28-2013, 11:33 PM
 
Location: Talmadge, San Diego, CA
13,293 posts, read 25,180,707 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by katestar View Post
Yes. Since she's under 65, her max is $14,440 or about $1200 a month. They will just deduct it out of SS if she goes over, not like a penalty of anything. Once she hits 65 in 10 months, I believe the max goes to $35K if I'm not mistaken.
The max that you can earn per year on SS is now $15,120. That works out to about $1,260 a month. It will stay at that maximum amount to earn per year, unless there's cost of living increase next January. If there is, it'll go up a little bit again. Once she hits 66, she can make as much as she wants, and SS won't care.

I took mine at 62 because I had no choice. I was laid off from my job, and after two years of being able to live on my unemployment, it was cut to $76 per week. So I took my SS, and have two part-time jobs. Even with those two jobs, I don't make anywhere near $15,120 a year. I would probably have to have five part-time jobs to do that.
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Old 03-01-2013, 02:42 AM
 
Location: Florida
19,669 posts, read 19,779,572 times
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This might be the underlying problem....that there are times when you probably wouldn't ordinarily mind running the mom around when your GF can't,even without reimbursement, if the history you have with her wasn't so bad.
Now you'd rather not do anything for her and it isn't really the money, as evidenced by this statement...

"If my GF just takes it out of mom's bank account and puts it onto mine, then it's like it never happened."

You want to teach her a lesson not just get reimbursed.
Ain't gonna happen!
When it's important and her daughter can't take her, but would have, and you do it to help your GF out,forget getting the money directly from mom, take it and remember that whatever you do is helping to keep mom from having to come back and live with you!!
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Old 03-01-2013, 09:27 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by old_cold View Post
This might be the underlying problem....that there are times when you probably wouldn't ordinarily mind running the mom around when your GF can't,even without reimbursement, if the history you have with her wasn't so bad.
Now you'd rather not do anything for her and it isn't really the money, as evidenced by this statement...

"If my GF just takes it out of mom's bank account and puts it onto mine, then it's like it never happened."

You want to teach her a lesson not just get reimbursed.
Ain't gonna happen!
When it's important and her daughter can't take her, but would have, and you do it to help your GF out,forget getting the money directly from mom, take it and remember that whatever you do is helping to keep mom from having to come back and live with you!!
Yeah you got it right on the money! My GF came back last night and said that she isn't going to ask mom for the money and that if I want it she will give it to me. Which started a whole long conversation, that entailed me basically saying everything that I feel and us basically coming to the conclusion that she won't be involving me in dealing with her mom anymore. I said OK.

During this conversation, it really became apparent that I don't really like her mom. To be honest, I would never be able to spend a lot of time around her, but the fact that we lived together for a year, makes me not want to spend ANY time with her, at least at this point (it's been 3 months since she moved). I don't know how to get over this. It's hard for me to respect her, I find her mostly annoying, inappropriate and we have nothing in common. I don't know how she feels about me at this point.

Anyway, my GF reassured me that the mom will never move in with us again, which I take with a grain of salt, but at least she undestands that it is a stressor for me and something I do not want again.

In the end, I don't see the mine and MIL relationship working out. I suppose they are not supposed to. We were possibly thinking approaching MIL for child care when we have kids, but I think that's off the table now. My GF said that MIL would only come over to help her and I probably wouldn't even see her, but I'm not sure how I feel about her being around my kid too much. I don't want a stressful relationship when it comes to MIL, but I know I will need to stand my ground on some things, which will make it not so pleasant. It would have been nice to have a family member help since my family is far away, but I guess other people make it, right?
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Old 03-01-2013, 09:36 AM
 
2,677 posts, read 3,854,632 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by moved View Post
The max that you can earn per year on SS is now $15,120. That works out to about $1,260 a month. It will stay at that maximum amount to earn per year, unless there's cost of living increase next January. If there is, it'll go up a little bit again. Once she hits 66, she can make as much as she wants, and SS won't care.

I took mine at 62 because I had no choice. I was laid off from my job, and after two years of being able to live on my unemployment, it was cut to $76 per week. So I took my SS, and have two part-time jobs. Even with those two jobs, I don't make anywhere near $15,120 a year. I would probably have to have five part-time jobs to do that.
Oh OK, I guess $14,440 was for a previous year, but it makes sense that's it a bit higher now.

She did end up getting the job she interviewed for yesterday. It's an in-home. Hours are 9ish to 4 at $10 5 days a week. Which is a lot and a great rate. Based on what the new SS limit is, she should be netting, by my calculations, $2400 a month or so between everything - that's $700 more than what she makes now. It seems that not only will she take a hit on the SS, but she will replacing that hit with taxable income, but it's still a net positive. This extra should allow her to pay down her bills within the year if not sooner and have enough for a car downpayment or out right purchase. My only hope is she doesn't blow it all.
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Old 03-01-2013, 09:40 AM
 
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The crazy thing is that my GF's brother has saved up enough money to come to Orlando and try to look for a job here, apparently there are no jobs in NY. He does maintenance work, but I think has been out of work sometime. He's going to be staying with MIL in her 1-bedroom. I really hope this doesn't turn into a "my brother needs to borrow my car and I need a ride to work situation." No, no no no no. I did make it clear to her last night that the cars are for us to get to and from work because that's how the bills are paid and I'm not lending out my car and I don't want her to lend out her car anymore (it's under my name) to anyone who is not on the insurance. They want to borrow, they pay insurance and gas upfront.

This has made me into such an evil person I feel. Ugh.
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Old 03-01-2013, 10:23 AM
 
Location: Eastern WV Panhandle
387 posts, read 521,333 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by katestar View Post
During this conversation, it really became apparent that I don't really like her mom. To be honest, I would never be able to spend a lot of time around her, but the fact that we lived together for a year, makes me not want to spend ANY time with her, at least at this point (it's been 3 months since she moved). I don't know how to get over this. It's hard for me to respect her, I find her mostly annoying, inappropriate and we have nothing in common. I don't know how she feels about me at this point.
From what I've read that's understandable. You sound like a responsible person who doesn't put up with a lot of drama, and you certainly won't enable someone else's poor decisions, so someone like your MIL is going to get on your nerves. I wouldn't want to live with someone like that either.

You can have a polite, arms-length relationship with your MIL, for the sake of your SO. I have a few in-laws like that, and DH and I see them once a year or less. It helps keep us sane.
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Old 03-01-2013, 10:43 AM
 
2,677 posts, read 3,854,632 times
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Originally Posted by bcr229 View Post
From what I've read that's understandable. You sound like a responsible person who doesn't put up with a lot of drama, and you certainly won't enable someone else's poor decisions, so someone like your MIL is going to get on your nerves. I wouldn't want to live with someone like that either.

You can have a polite, arms-length relationship with your MIL, for the sake of your SO. I have a few in-laws like that, and DH and I see them once a year or less. It helps keep us sane.
Thanks, I guess with her being alone, I thought we could possibly do things together (the 3 of us), but it is really difficult for me. I don't like the comments she makes, the jokes she makes and overall I don't feel that comfortable around her. She will poke fun at me because she has nothing else to say and I wish she would just keep her mouth shut.
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Old 03-01-2013, 12:56 PM
 
Location: Talmadge, San Diego, CA
13,293 posts, read 25,180,707 times
Reputation: 8076
If your MIL owe the IRS, she's going to have another problem, because they'll take more money if she's employed. They may also garnish her paycheck.

I had a neighbor that owed the IRS and the state of CA. Even though she had payment arrangements, and they were getting their money every two weeks, they decided that they wanted more, and took 1/2 of two paychecks before she got it straightened out.
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