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Just because you are related to someone by blood doesn't mean you might have anything in common with them (except the genes.) Let it go. Make friends with others who do appreciate you.
^^^Very good advice. I don't have relationships with most of my extended family. I feel closest to a few friends and even fewer family members.
Just because you are related to someone by blood doesn't mean you might have anything in common with them (except the genes.) Let it go. Make friends with others who do appreciate you.
Then why are there so many people who see some friends or relatives who are local once or twice a year?
For the friends I have that are local it is more that everyday life gets in the way of seeing them often.
One of my sisters lives 20 miles from me and I never see her. I don't like her as the person she is. Honestly, it was like a breath of fresh air and liberating when I finally decided to put her out of my life.
YES! This is exactly my life. I have friends and relatives all over the city and I hardly bump into them. Maybe because we're all so busy but I do bump into people every once in a while. Some of my family members and I aren't exactly that close so we almost never see each other.
If I am a so called friend of someone who lives close to me but only has time to see me once a year or so, I wouldn't think they are much of a friend and my interactions with them would be strained. I am a strong believer that you find time to spend time with people you really like and others people just use the busy line to put them off.
Quote:
Originally Posted by FOReverxpeace
YES! This is exactly my life. I have friends and relatives all over the city and I hardly bump into them. Maybe because we're all so busy but I do bump into people every once in a while. Some of my family members and I aren't exactly that close so we almost never see each other.
Do you have LOCAL friends or a set of relatives who are local but you only see once or twice a year? I do, and always wonder why we see them at all.
When we do see them my wife is phony and says she wishes we could get together more often but we are so busy. (We not, we are retired!) and of course they use the same lame excuse and tell us we should get together more often but they are SO BUSY too.
The real reason we don't get together with them all that often is we don't really like each other. Sure, we can act all polite, laugh at their jokes, smile and show fake interest, but in reality there is nothing there, no chemistry, no connection and little in common. The only reason we visit their homes is a tradition or familiarity or a link that was there once but now completely gone.
Do you have people you see rarely who are local and what excuse do you use to explain why you don't see them much anymore?
yes, not all people develop a working relationship....so let it go...
Do you have LOCAL friends or a set of relatives who are local but you only see once or twice a year? I do, and always wonder why we see them at all.
When we do see them my wife is phony and says she wishes we could get together more often but we are so busy. (We not, we are retired!) and of course they use the same lame excuse and tell us we should get together more often but they are SO BUSY too.
The real reason we don't get together with them all that often is we don't really like each other. Sure, we can act all polite, laugh at their jokes, smile and show fake interest, but in reality there is nothing there, no chemistry, no connection and little in common. The only reason we visit their homes is a tradition or familiarity or a link that was there once but now completely gone.
Do you have people you see rarely who are local and what excuse do you use to explain why you don't see them much anymore?
I absolutely do (pretty much all of my relatives) but I never have to give an excuse because I've never said it or have been asked.
I've never spent a lot of time with relatives and have never had much desire to. I don't have many common interests with them nor am I close with them. So there is just no reason to force more time with them.
If I am a so called friend of someone who lives close to me but only has time to see me once a year or so, I wouldn't think they are much of a friend and my interactions with them would be strained. I am a strong believer that you find time to spend time with people you really like and others people just use the busy line to put them off.
This post makes you sound quite demanding of your relationships. I don't know too many people who would be willing and able maintain a relationship this intense for very long.
This post makes you sound quite demanding of your relationships. I don't know too many people who would be willing and able maintain a relationship this intense for very long.
So if I spend more than a few hours a year with someone then my relationship is too intense and it will burn out?
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