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Do you have LOCAL friends or a set of relatives who are local but you only see once or twice a year? I do, and always wonder why we see them at all.
When we do see them my wife is phony and says she wishes we could get together more often but we are so busy. (We not, we are retired!) and of course they use the same lame excuse and tell us we should get together more often but they are SO BUSY too.
The real reason we don't get together with them all that often is we don't really like each other. Sure, we can act all polite, laugh at their jokes, smile and show fake interest, but in reality there is nothing there, no chemistry, no connection and little in common. The only reason we visit their homes is a tradition or familiarity or a link that was there once but now completely gone.
Do you have people you see rarely who are local and what excuse do you use to explain why you don't see them much anymore?
Relationships are a two way thing, and my family on both sides have a HORRID issue with this. It eventually got to the point where my parents were sick and tired of spending the time, money and resources to taking all of us to see family members when nearly all of them wouldn't wanna come to see us. Eventually, they had enough and we kept to ourselves through me and my sisters years in high school till we moved out.
I'm pretty much following same footsteps, I don't make the effort because they dont make the effort. Besides, some of my family I would rather not see anymore anyway, for reasons that are none of your business
There are relatives nearby that I only see, in fact some even less than once a year. The reason why is that half the family does not get along and if I did visit them, it would inevitably get back to my mother that I did so. Sigh, how I long to put great distance between myself and this place.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
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It doesn't really sound like you are friends anymore. If you are relatives, why do you dislike each other so? You don't want to try to patch things up?
tend to be due to the fact that overtime we've grown apart. i wouldn't engage with anyone i just didn't like. in most cases i've become indifferent to them
You've grown apart. Nothing wrong with that. Just because you're retired doesn't mean you are not busy. You're may not be working; but, you are busy living your life which does not include them. Dont expect people to be better than you. Don't be fake. Don't make plans you won't follow through. Be comfortable to acknowledge it for what it is. If you just don't like them then let the associations die off.
I went through the same with a few friends. We decided to just pick one date to get together. Some years were hit and miss. When we do get together, we eat, drink, catch-up and go our separate ways. Till next time ... Whenever that is.
Do you have LOCAL friends or a set of relatives who are local but you only see once or twice a year? I do, and always wonder why we see them at all.
When we do see them my wife is phony and says she wishes we could get together more often but we are so busy. (We not, we are retired!) and of course they use the same lame excuse and tell us we should get together more often but they are SO BUSY too.
The real reason we don't get together with them all that often is we don't really like each other. Sure, we can act all polite, laugh at their jokes, smile and show fake interest, but in reality there is nothing there, no chemistry, no connection and little in common. The only reason we visit their homes is a tradition or familiarity or a link that was there once but now completely gone.
Do you have people you see rarely who are local and what excuse do you use to explain why you don't see them much anymore?
I do. My childhood friend fell into a bad lifestyle and at the time I write this has disappeared, I do not know were he lives and his phone is long disconnected. It was on and off like this but not this long.
I have 2 cousins that I see maybe once a year here in NY, One usually just looks to borrow money as he won't support himself and the other lives like a hermit. It's sad but adults will make their own choices.
I'm not sure why anyone would waste the time being "phony" with people who really don't have anything in common with you. Most likely they feel exactly the same way but also feel "stuck" because of past history. Just nicely refuse the invitations and eventually they'll stop coming.
Relationships are a two way thing, and my family on both sides have a HORRID issue with this. It eventually got to the point where my parents were sick and tired of spending the time, money and resources to taking all of us to see family members when nearly all of them wouldn't wanna come to see us. Eventually, they had enough and we kept to ourselves through me and my sisters years in high school till we moved out.
I'm pretty much following same footsteps, I don't make the effort because they dont make the effort. Besides, some of my family I would rather not see anymore anyway, for reasons that are none of your business
I've got relatives who are the same way. We always went to see them and they almost never came out to see us. It gets old after a while and I've gotten to the point where I don't make as much of an effort as I used to.
Just because you are related to someone by blood doesn't mean you might have anything in common with them (except the genes.) Let it go. Make friends with others who do appreciate you.
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