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When I was younger I had a relative that called a lot and sent many letters.(Before texting). Sometimes it annoyed me. She is long gone and I would do anything to here from her again.
I don't know, I'm probably in the minority here, but I have a 23-year-old son who I've always gotten along fantastically with, and he's a busy graduate student with his own life, so I don't expect to hear from him all the time. A couple times when he hadn't called for awhile he apologized for being out of touch, but I told him not to worry about it, but that I love to hear from him. He comes home to visit during breaks and part of the summer, so I see him several times a year. I don't call or text him very often because I have no idea if he's working on school stuff or just having an evening with friends, neither of which I want to interrupt. I was a graduate student once and I know how busy I was and how focused on my schooling I was at that age. The LAST thing I want is my son calling me because he feels guilty if he doesn't. I have my own life, and the fact that my son is independent and taking care of himself is great. My job as a parent was to prepare him to fledge the nest, and that's what he's doing.
I live in Santa Barbara, CA, and my 88 year old father lives in Bellevue, WA. I call my Dad everyday. I am the one who makes the call. Sometimes we talk for just a few minutes, sometimes an hour. His eye sight is poor and he does not use a cell phone or know how to text. We talk about the weather ("it's raining here today"), gas mileage of cars ("I heard Toyota makes a car that runs on gas and batteries and gets 50 mpg, its called a Pious"), politics ("I still say FDR and Kennedy were our greatest Presidents") and family members ("Your great aunt Florita and uncle Sven made Lutefisk for Sunday dinner last week, boy was it good") My Dad DOES call me every Sunday night, around 8:15pm. He still remembers when 'long distance calls' cost less if they were made on a Sunday after 8pm.
To the OP: Consider yourself fortunate that you have a parent who is still alive and still concerned about you. I cherish my calls with parents. I fly up to Seattle about 4 times a year to see them.
First of all my situation is different from yours. My mom is 61, and I;m in my 30's and she is in good health. Now of course if I was in my 50's I would be in more contact with her because she would be close to 80. But this is not the case with me so I don't understand how your situation relates to mine.
I don't know, I'm probably in the minority here, but I have a 23-year-old son who I've always gotten along fantastically with, and he's a busy graduate student with his own life, so I don't expect to hear from him all the time. A couple times when he hadn't called for awhile he apologized for being out of touch, but I told him not to worry about it, but that I love to hear from him. He comes home to visit during breaks and part of the summer, so I see him several times a year. I don't call or text him very often because I have no idea if he's working on school stuff or just having an evening with friends, neither of which I want to interrupt. I was a graduate student once and I know how busy I was and how focused on my schooling I was at that age. The LAST thing I want is my son calling me because he feels guilty if he doesn't. I have my own life, and the fact that my son is independent and taking care of himself is great. My job as a parent was to prepare him to fledge the nest, and that's what he's doing.
Well this is me exactly. I have a 23 yr old son in law school on the other side of the country and a 21 yr old in his last year of college, also in another state. I rarely actually call or text them, unless it's been a very long time (like a couple of weeks) since I heard from them last, or I particularly need to speak to them about something specific. I promised I wouldn't bother them when they left for college. Especially my son in law school. He's either in class or at the library every night until it closes. I don't bother him for no reason.
I just think the OP needs to be respectful of his mom, in turn she should be respectful of him. He needs to be honest with her. Now if I knew my son was just sitting around waiting for a text or potential phone call form some one he met online, I wouldn't worry nearly as much about bothering him. I figure if he got a call or text, he could just tell me he needed to take the other call. I don't think either of my sons would be so shallow as to get mad because I was interrupting their waiting by the phone.
I honestly don't think OP knows the word respectful. That's really all I expect from my children. They're grown up responsible people and that is saying a lot. One day the OP may have children of his own and maybe he will understand. I still wonder why he is posting if he is supposed to be in a new job. Must have a lot of down time.
First of all my situation is different from yours. My mom is 61, and I;m in my 30's and she is in good health. Now of course if I was in my 50's I would be in more contact with her because she would be close to 80. But this is not the case with me so I don't understand how your situation relates to mine.
What are you saying, your mother needs to be old and frail before you will pay attention to her? By the way, my mother died when she was 61 years old. Just something for you to consider, not everyone dies from old age.
I honestly don't think OP knows the word respectful. That's really all I expect from my children. They're grown up responsible people and that is saying a lot. One day the OP may have children of his own and maybe he will understand. I still wonder why he is posting if he is supposed to be in a new job. Must have a lot of down time.
Multi-tasking and I need the computer to do my job so it allows me to take a break and come here.
This is funny to me.I have a 26 year old son that would with no doubt tell me straight up that I was bothering him if I tried to call or text him everyday.I respect the fact that our adult sons or daughters need and wont their own time,as I enjoy mine.Sounds as if your mother is very lonely even with the boyfriend,maybe he is not the right choice for her.Sounds as if she needs someone more active.If she has other friends encourage her to get out more.Does she know about this Forum?Something to fill her time.Church?If all else fails politely tell her Not Every DAY....or even not everyother day...On Sundays perhaps..
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