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Old 03-21-2013, 07:58 PM
 
3,967 posts, read 4,591,362 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Glenfield View Post
Not so simple. Some parents, like me, do not want their children to call adults by their first name. This is the parents' decision and it is not up to the person being addressed. We will allow a first name to be preceded by mister or mrs./ miss. It is very disrespectful of us when people tell our kids, "Oh, just call me ________."
Then don't have them refer to that person who doesn't want to be addressed with the title you are forcing on that person.
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Old 03-21-2013, 11:47 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
21,612 posts, read 14,218,760 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LogicTech2013 View Post
a sibling is married, the person he is married to has a kid, my siblings taught this kid to call my uncle, but I don't like it especially since I'm not related to this kid in any way, and it makes me sound old even though I'm going to be 29, I still don't like it, I don't want kids, I want to be young forever but that's not going to happen of course, still the fact I'm not married or have kids or in any relationship makes me free to do what I want whenever I want without discussing it with anyone, asking permission, negotiating, etc... I don't even want to be an uncle. I didn't ask for this. What should I do? Tell the kid that I'm not really its uncle? Stop calling me uncle?
Speak to the sibling and express the term you would prefer his step child to use when addressing you.

Be respectful. Leave out the parts about how you like to independent and how you didn't ask to be called uncle and the child isn't even related. Those things make you seem petty. Simply ask if the child can call you by your first name or whatever else you prefer.

If you don't get your way on this, it isn't the end of the world. I can think of worse things to be called than "uncle."

But when your sibling has a child, what will you do? Then you truly will be an uncle. And the older child will be prohibited from calling you that, but the younger will be able to call you "uncle." Are you sure you want to go down this road?
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Old 03-21-2013, 11:55 PM
 
35,121 posts, read 40,032,342 times
Reputation: 62030
Quote:
Originally Posted by LogicTech2013 View Post
a sibling is married, the person he is married to has a kid, my siblings taught this kid to call my uncle, but I don't like it especially since I'm not related to this kid in any way, and it makes me sound old even though I'm going to be 29, I still don't like it, I don't want kids, I want to be young forever but that's not going to happen of course, still the fact I'm not married or have kids or in any relationship makes me free to do what I want whenever I want without discussing it with anyone, asking permission, negotiating, etc... I don't even want to be an uncle. I didn't ask for this. What should I do? Tell the kid that I'm not really its uncle? Stop calling me uncle?

If this is your biggest issue to deal with in life I'd say you are pretty lucky. Pretty trivial in my opinion but whatever. Just tell your sibling you are not comfortable with this child calling you Uncle and give him a name that is more acceptable to you.

**PS -- They didn't ask for you either but they got you anyway**
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Old 03-22-2013, 02:27 AM
 
10,807 posts, read 8,021,516 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Glenfield View Post
Not so simple. Some parents, like me, do not want their children to call adults by their first name. This is the parents' decision and it is not up to the person being addressed. We will allow a first name to be preceded by mister or mrs./ miss. It is very disrespectful of us when people tell our kids, "Oh, just call me ________."
That's ridiculously superficial. It's more disrespectful to impose your somewhat arbitrary standards upon other adults.
If a peer/adult specifically requests that your children address him/her by [first name] and you overrule him/her, then - IMO - you're setting a bad example for your children.

I'm 60+ years old, mother of 2, aunt of 25+ nieces and nephews, great-aunt of 30+, and a former school teacher. In my experience, if someone calls me "aunt [firstname]" other than just "[firstname]" in no way represents his/her respect of me. The nephew who calls me by first name might be the one who treats me to lunch and remembers my birthday. The niece who calls me Aunt Firstname might not even know where I live.

Respect is not about titles, it's about consideration and caring.
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Old 03-22-2013, 06:33 AM
 
2,963 posts, read 3,043,140 times
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Consider what happens if your brother and his wife have a kid. You will really be an uncle then, like it or not. How do you think your current non-nephew will feel if you let your "real nephew" call you uncle but not him?
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Old 03-22-2013, 01:23 PM
 
13,675 posts, read 13,505,812 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dspguy View Post
Consider what happens if your brother and his wife have a kid. You will really be an uncle then, like it or not. How do you think your current non-nephew will feel if you let your "real nephew" call you uncle but not him?
Does the OP strike you as particularly sensitive to the feelings of others? Just sayin'.
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Old 03-22-2013, 07:46 PM
 
7,099 posts, read 24,448,108 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JrzDefector View Post
Does the OP strike you as particularly sensitive to the feelings of others? Just sayin'.
I don't think he is. He refers to his age with a hint that being called "uncle" makes him seem older. He doesn't have any more responsibility or chores...so, what exactly is his problem? No matter what he is called, he can't stay young forever. I'm betting that his family wishes he would grow up now.
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Old 03-23-2013, 06:19 AM
 
Location: Maryland
11 posts, read 12,063 times
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It is a term of endearment and respect..you should be proud and thankful.If it makes you feel old when called uncle,go by your first name or nickname.
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Old 03-25-2013, 08:56 PM
 
3,504 posts, read 7,923,101 times
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Just let the poor kid call you uncle - you are not a kid - you are plenty old enough to be an uncle - the child is now a part of your family - even if not by blood

BTW - I was an Aunt at 8 years old.
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Old 03-26-2013, 05:13 AM
 
2,963 posts, read 3,043,140 times
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I don't know if the OP is sensitive to other people's feelings or not - but if he isn't now, he very well may be in the future. We all change and mature as we age (ok, some of us mature!). He very well may feel differently in a few years about his uncle status.
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