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Old 03-26-2013, 01:43 PM
 
Location: Canada
3,869 posts, read 2,706,816 times
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To me it's simple. The next time the kid calls you "uncle" in his parents' presence, tell him: "Just call me ____. Uncle makes me feel old." If the parents are surprised, just make a joke - "I'm planning to stay 29 forever."
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Old 03-27-2013, 01:43 AM
 
Location: Portlandia "burbs"
10,236 posts, read 13,945,564 times
Reputation: 25884
Quote:
Originally Posted by LogicTech2013 View Post
a sibling is married, the person he is married to has a kid, my siblings taught this kid to call my uncle, but I don't like it especially since I'm not related to this kid in any way, and it makes me sound old even though I'm going to be 29, I still don't like it, I don't want kids, I want to be young forever but that's not going to happen of course, still the fact I'm not married or have kids or in any relationship makes me free to do what I want whenever I want without discussing it with anyone, asking permission, negotiating, etc... I don't even want to be an uncle. I didn't ask for this. What should I do? Tell the kid that I'm not really its uncle? Stop calling me uncle?

Well, okay. You ARE an uncle by marriage, y'know. Also, you are very close to "middle age". And it's fine to not want children but your aversion denotes something deeper. Did you not call your own parent's siblings uncle? I know that my family, and my husband's, all the nieces and nephews say aunt and uncle. That's just natural. So you're going to place your siblings in the awkward position of explaining to the child that he can't call you uncle. It's also a surefire way to make him feel unaccepted by you, and he'll grow up thinking you're "just the a--hole uncle". And I don't think there IS a way you can handle this without appearing as one.
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Old 03-28-2013, 05:43 PM
 
Location: New York, NY
175 posts, read 226,369 times
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Does the child call your brother "Dad"?

If so, it is appropriate for the kid to call you "Uncle" X.

If not, then it is not a genuine niece/nephew and uncle relationship and I would not be comfortable with the title either.
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Old 03-29-2013, 11:58 AM
 
3,967 posts, read 4,589,415 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by violetnights View Post
Does the child call your brother "Dad"?

If so, it is appropriate for the kid to call you "Uncle" X.

If not, then it is not a genuine niece/nephew and uncle relationship and I would not be comfortable with the title either.
If the child call his brother Dad you think it's ok to force the OP to accept the title as Uncle?
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Old 03-29-2013, 09:20 PM
 
Location: New York, NY
175 posts, read 226,369 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yellow Jacket View Post
If the child call his brother Dad you think it's ok to force the OP to accept the title as Uncle?
No, it is impossible to force someone to accept anything. I was trying to relay the importance of context. If it is just a stepkid then the relationship is different than if his brother accepted the child as his own.
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Old 03-31-2013, 09:28 AM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,018 posts, read 17,664,443 times
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I haven't read the entire thread but I find the aversion to being called "uncle" bizarre. In many families, and in many cultures, it is not considered respectful for children to call adults by their first names, and the titles "aunt" and "uncles" are considered marks of respect.

My godparents were neighors and good friends of my parents, and from earliest childhood until the present day my sister and I called them aunt and uncle, with their first names after the title.

I know a guy, much older than the OP, who has a similar aversion, which I have never understood. His wife is from a middle eastern country where children do not call adults by their first names. So her nieces and nephews have a big problem as to how to address him. When the child of a cousin from that middle eastern country was visiting in Los Angeles and I had volunteered to take her signt-seeing, the wife of the uncle-averse asked me if I had any objection to beling called uncle. Of course I didn't. Altlhough I was not related to the young woman either by blood or by marriage I understood that's what would make her comfortable and I understood it as a mark of respect. In addition, it marked me as a close friend of family (which I was and am) rather than a stranger. How could I have had any objection?
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Old 03-31-2013, 09:03 PM
 
Location: San Diego CA
4,769 posts, read 3,340,442 times
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In China and other places with large Chinese populations it is a sign of respect to call an older non related man or women uncle or aunty.
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Old 03-31-2013, 11:24 PM
 
Location: Montgomery County, MD
3,241 posts, read 3,275,085 times
Reputation: 3010
Quote:
Originally Posted by LogicTech2013 View Post
a sibling is married, the person he is married to has a kid, my siblings taught this kid to call my uncle, but I don't like it especially since I'm not related to this kid in any way, and it makes me sound old even though I'm going to be 29, I still don't like it, I don't want kids, I want to be young forever but that's not going to happen of course, still the fact I'm not married or have kids or in any relationship makes me free to do what I want whenever I want without discussing it with anyone, asking permission, negotiating, etc... I don't even want to be an uncle. I didn't ask for this. What should I do? Tell the kid that I'm not really its uncle? Stop calling me uncle?
That is ridiculous and makes no sense, "uncle" has nothing to do with age. My family has a lot of elementary school kids who are uncles. It's not the same as being called Grandpa. It just means your brother/sister has a kid. Its also mean and jerkish to refuse to be called an uncle by someone who isnt biologically related to you. I have cousins who aren't my blood relative yet I still consider them my cousins.
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Old 04-02-2013, 06:35 AM
 
Location: New York, NY
175 posts, read 226,369 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dspguy View Post
Consider what happens if your brother and his wife have a kid. You will really be an uncle then, like it or not. How do you think your current non-nephew will feel if you let your "real nephew" call you uncle but not him?
About half the population is composed of females, comprised of XX chromosomes. His brother's step-child may be a girl, and his future "real nephew" may actually be a niece.
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