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Old 10-25-2007, 08:12 PM
 
25,165 posts, read 46,559,200 times
Reputation: 6909

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Wow how rude of you. I am a very friendly and nice person not some irresponsible drunkard.

I would think the roommate would keep it to himself about having a party with his friends if he only wanted to keep it BUSINESS.
THANKS for your useless input. Usually you do not tell your roommate personal information if you want to keep it business.

Quote:
Originally Posted by miu View Post
It's hard to say what is really going on with your roommate without meeting all of you in person. But some people like to keep their roommates separate from being their friends. And also, since it's his friends throwing the birthday party for him, he may not feel that he is expected to bring you along as they are picking up the tab. If you were his girlfriend, that would be different. And also, if his friends wanted you to be at the party, they would have called your apartment to make you a direct invitation to it.

Just have your own friends and keep the roommate thing separate and just business like. Maybe in the past, your roommate has been taken advantage of by roommates that tried to be friends and then were late on the bills. Or maybe he is worried that his friends will eventually like you better than him.

I live with my boyfriend, but we've had two different friends where their roommates just assumed that they were our friends too by association. But while they had similar interests, they were jerky people and one of them I had to tell off twice and let him know that he would never be welcome at our house. He also had left our friend in the lurch because he felt like moving out suddenly, he was a mooch and also drank too much. The other roommate was lonely, with a broken car and just assumed that he could tag along with our friend and not chip in for gas.

So anyway, if you weren't friends before moving in together, then just assume that it's only a business arrangement of convenience.

 
Old 10-25-2007, 08:13 PM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
15,681 posts, read 32,592,355 times
Reputation: 14150
And I think that artsyguy referring to his roommate as possibly "psycho" is a bit harsh. artsyguy should have enough of his own buddies and not have to supplement his party life by latching on his roommate's friends.
 
Old 10-25-2007, 08:14 PM
 
25,165 posts, read 46,559,200 times
Reputation: 6909
so you think I am being immature or silly about the situation? ? ? ?
just say what you think directly instead of making rude and vague comments.

SMTRABS ??

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fiddlekitten View Post
oh NO SaveMtns... this is more serious than that. this looks like a total SMTRABS
 
Old 10-25-2007, 08:15 PM
 
25,165 posts, read 46,559,200 times
Reputation: 6909
I just moved here nearly 3 months ago. I KNOW nobody. You are being very rude and judgmental towards me. Is it that HARD to be a friend to a roommate?? It shouldn't be.

If you have ADVICE on WHERE to find and make friends that quickly well then give some help right now.

Quote:
Originally Posted by miu View Post
And I think that artsyguy referring to his roommate as possibly "psycho" is a bit harsh. artsyguy should have enough of his own buddies and not have to supplement his party life by latching on his roommate's friends.
 
Old 10-25-2007, 08:19 PM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
15,681 posts, read 32,592,355 times
Reputation: 14150
Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
Wow how rude of you. I am a very friendly and nice person not some irresponsible drunkard.

I would think the roommate would keep it to himself about having a party with his friends if he only wanted to keep it BUSINESS.
THANKS for your useless input. Usually you do not tell your roommate personal information if you want to keep it business.
Touchy, touchy. I don't see why your roommate can't tell you what his plans are. And I hope that your friends throw you a better birthday party in the future that you won't be inviting your roommate too.

I never said that you were an irresponsible drunkard, I was only giving some examples of why roommates don't mix with each other. There is a difference between an acquaintance and a friend. A friendship may be offered, but it can't be demanded. I think that you should be able to respect your roommate's desire for having personal space separate from yours a lot more gracefully. It's his birthday party, and he doesn't want you there with him so just respect that. Just be his roommate and you know not to invite to any of your future private party invites.
 
Old 10-25-2007, 08:25 PM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
15,681 posts, read 32,592,355 times
Reputation: 14150
Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
I just moved here nearly 3 months ago. I KNOW nobody. You are being very rude and judgmental towards me. Is it that HARD to be a friend to a roommate?? It shouldn't be.

If you have ADVICE on WHERE to find and make friends that quickly well then give some help right now.
So now you want to pull the sympathy card? What happened to being taller than your roommate, better looking and more fun that he is? And you think he is odd to boot. Maybe you are sending vibes of superiority to him and he doesn't want the competition from you??

Anyway, your lack of a social life is not his responsibility. I don't know what your problem is if in three months, you aren't able to meet friends in any other way than through your roommate.

I've never had a problem making friends with commons interests any time I wanted. What else do you like to do besides party? Hobbies? Sports? What is your major?

Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
We are both in graduate school. Both very smart people. I consider myself to be better looking ( I do look very young for my age), I am a good deal taller than him, and a bit more fun natured, funny, happy go lucky and social. So, I am not a gross smelly antisocial person or anything if you thought that. But as of NOW I am rather confused and irritated. Thankfully I plan to graduate in less than 2 years in case this odd person continues to choose to be antisocial with me.

Your thoughts, advice, opinions, and insights are welcomed
 
Old 10-25-2007, 08:27 PM
 
25,165 posts, read 46,559,200 times
Reputation: 6909
I will answer your question.

If you are not friends and it is only a business deal with someone then you usually do not tell them your plans. It is called "bragging". Socially that isn't very nice. It is rude.

I know the differences between friend and acquaintance. What is your point?

I've been invited to parties where I go and hang out and find NEW friends. I don't just cling to the person who invited me all during the party. That never happens

Nobody is demanding a friendship. I prefer respect and kindness. It is respectful to say "Hey, my friends are having a private party for me. It is just close friends. Sorry you can't come but what are you doing tonight? I hope you have fun anyways." That is respectful or a friendly way of saying it. Bragging is rather rude.

What do you mean gracefully? I didn't say that he should invite me out to his face. I didn't pressure him or manipulate him into anything. So I was graceful about it. I thought it was rude at how he bragged about it to my face knowing how I just moved to the city and know nobody.





Quote:
Originally Posted by miu View Post
Touchy, touchy. I don't see why your roommate can't tell you what his plans are. And I hope that your friends throw you a better birthday party in the future that you won't be inviting your roommate too.

I never said that you were an irresponsible drunkard, I was only giving some examples of why roommates don't mix with each other. There is a difference between an acquaintance and a friend. A friendship may be offered, but it can't be demanded. I think that you should be able to respect your roommate's desire for having personal space separate from yours a lot more gracefully. It's his birthday party, and he doesn't want you there with him so just respect that. Just be his roommate and you know not to invite to any of your future private party invites.
 
Old 10-25-2007, 08:33 PM
 
25,165 posts, read 46,559,200 times
Reputation: 6909
I think you were threatened by my message. You think I came across as being superior to you when I described myself.

Yes, sympathy is important in life. People deserve sympathy when their feelings are hurt or when they are alone and without friends. That is something that you do not have obviously.

Again you are feeling threatened by my posts. It is not my decision to make friends instantly. It is a 2 way street. If people want to be my friend then that process will happen naturally. If not then it doesn't happen. I know that much.

I go out and do whatever I like whenever I like. That simple. It is up to the other people I interact with to be friendly and be friends with me. That simple.

SInce you are a genius at making friends. WHy not offer some really amazing advice to me on how to make friends quick








Quote:
Originally Posted by miu View Post
So now you want to pull the sympathy card? What happened to being taller than your roommate, better looking and more fun that he is? And you think he is odd to boot. Maybe you are sending vibes of superiority to him and he doesn't want the competition from you??

Anyway, your lack of a social life is not his responsibility. I don't know what your problem is if in three months, you aren't able to meet friends in any other way than through your roommate.

I've never had a problem making friends with commons interests any time I wanted. What else do you like to do besides party? Hobbies? Sports? What is your major?
 
Old 10-25-2007, 08:37 PM
 
558 posts, read 1,995,645 times
Reputation: 333
Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
explain what that means.
It means "Short Man Cocky Bas#@*d Syndrome!"

To me, since he went to the trouble to tell you about the party, making sure that you felt snubbed, he's just a jerk. I'd find higher-quality, fun people to hang with, and treat him similar to the rest of your furniture!
 
Old 10-25-2007, 08:38 PM
 
Location: Life here is not an Apollo Mission. Everyone calm down.
1,065 posts, read 4,057,635 times
Reputation: 962
Artsy. I sympathize. My college roommate grew to hate me for some reason. I don't think I gave her enough attention.

Is there any possibility that you know secrets of his that he can't risk you telling his friends?
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