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Old 10-25-2007, 08:39 PM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
16,439 posts, read 33,367,104 times
Reputation: 15158

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But what's the big deal about letting you know about his birthday party? To me, it's like saying well next Friday night, I will be out with friends. Or I'm going to the grocery store. If anything, you can go ahead and invite some friends over to your apartment and do your own thing. And he didn't embellish his statement by saying that he's such a terrific guy that his friends are throwing him a party in his honor. It really sounds like he told you in very a factual way. I take friends out for their birthdays all of the time. And I don't expect to see their roommates as I am picking up the tab for it.

 
Old 10-25-2007, 08:42 PM
 
25,165 posts, read 47,255,925 times
Reputation: 6942
No. I just think he is envious of me and is naturally a competitive person from what I can tell. He brags a lot.

Doesn't matter now I guess

Quote:
Originally Posted by MainStreet View Post
Artsy. I sympathize. My college roommate grew to hate me for some reason. I don't think I gave her enough attention.

Is there any possibility that you know secrets of his that he can't risk you telling his friends?
 
Old 10-25-2007, 08:45 PM
 
25,165 posts, read 47,255,925 times
Reputation: 6942
Why are YOU so defensive!!?? It is called reading between the lines my dear. Also tone of voice counts too. Somebody can say it with JOY. Hey it is my birthday and I am hanging out with friends! OR they can say it with spite. Get it now?
I don't know how old you are (you may be naturally insensitive or not socially sensitive to others) but when another person doesn't have something (FRIENDS) yet another person does and brings it up how he is getting the royal treatment from his friends , then it is intentionally rubbing it in my nose at that point. Also before I moved in with him he told me he was NEW to the area and knew of nobody. Later he changed his mind and said he had friends in the area. This was intentionally done so that he appeared better than me. duh.

I am by no means an antisocial person. I make friends pretty easily, as I do LOVE to talk, but a lot of my time now is directed towards getting an education rather than seeking friends.

Thanks for your messages. I guess you were pretty darn curious about this situation.

Quote:
Originally Posted by miu View Post
But what's the big deal about letting you know about his birthday party? To me, it's like saying well next Friday night, I will be out with friends. Or I'm going to the grocery store. If anything, you can go ahead and invite some friends over to your apartment and do your own thing. And he didn't embellish his statement by saying that he's such a terrific guy that his friends are throwing him a party in his honor. It really sounds like he told you in very a factual way. I take friends out for their birthdays all of the time. And I don't expect to see their roommates as I am picking up the tab for it.

Last edited by artsyguy; 10-25-2007 at 08:57 PM..
 
Old 10-25-2007, 08:47 PM
 
558 posts, read 2,020,228 times
Reputation: 333
Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
No. I just think he is envious of me and is naturally a competitive person from what I can tell. He brags a lot.

Doesn't matter now I guess
There are petty, envious, competitive people all along the way, artsyguy...just look at it this way--you're avoiding spending your precious time with him. Find people that don't go out of their way to be rude...which this treatment of you was.
 
Old 10-26-2007, 01:16 AM
 
Location: Naptowne, Alaska
15,596 posts, read 34,519,603 times
Reputation: 14657
Maybe he was just letting you know out of curtesy, he will be gone so you can invite a girl over or do what you want. He's not obligated to drag you along anywhere. I've had roomates. I had to get away and have space all the time. Roomates tended to get on my nerves. Perhaps you are getting on his. Your roomates not mates. Walk down to the nearest bar and meet some folks or something. Your making a drama scene out of the entire thing.
 
Old 10-26-2007, 06:11 AM
 
Location: OKC, OK
640 posts, read 335,585 times
Reputation: 133
Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
He informed me that he was looking to make new friends in our city. I don't see his behavior as being very honest. So your help is pretty much useless.
LOL! Well, OBVIOUSLY he didn't pick you as one of those friends! Grow up and get over it already.... You're beginning to sound like maybe you had more than friendship feelings and got rejected??
 
Old 10-26-2007, 06:29 AM
 
Location: I'm not lost, I'm exploring!
3,402 posts, read 11,968,653 times
Reputation: 5714
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sooner_Nation_60 View Post
LOL! Well, OBVIOUSLY he didn't pick you as one of those friends! Grow up and get over it already.... You're beginning to sound like maybe you had more than friendship feelings and got rejected??
the OP is gay?

Also, artsy... (heh) if you can make friends so easily and are so much better than your room-mate, then get to it already, and stop pitching a fit because he didn't invite you to his party. Yeah it sounds like bragging, what are you gonna do about it?

I agree with another poster, treat him like a piece of furniture from now on. *shrug*

And... I almost hate to mention this, because it is brought up so frequently, but the audacity of some posters that offer their issue up to the world at large, or CD in mass, to get ANGRY with the responses they get back? is just ludicrious! ...if you didn't want everyone's opinion, then don't ask for it next time, but don't sit here and pick a fight when people are suggesting that perhaps you are coming across as a bit too cocky, selfcentered, over analyzing drama lama'ing, or my last but most favorite, possibly gay. hah!

There is no telling why your room mate snubbed you. It sounds like he did. Do we know for sure? no... we weren't there, and as you said earlier, yes, tone of voice has everything to do with it. Go out and make another friend that doesn't involve sapping a connection established through your room mate. As Rance said...
Quote:
He's not obligated to drag you around everywhere.
As for getting any more "useful or encouraging" advice out of this thread, I think ya blew it... when you jumped on SaveMtns and Miu just for suggesting something you didn't want to hear. We luv them

Have a good morning guys, and smile It's Friday.
 
Old 10-26-2007, 07:09 AM
 
Location: New Mexico
631 posts, read 2,101,886 times
Reputation: 325
Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
Hi everyone!


We are both in graduate school. Both very smart people. I consider myself to be better looking ( I do look very young for my age), I am a good deal taller than him, and a bit more fun natured, funny, happy go lucky and social.
We can only guess here.
Pehaps he too thinks you are better looking and would like for a change to be the better looking guy at the party, especially at his own B-day party.
 
Old 10-26-2007, 07:24 AM
 
Location: NE Florida
9,362 posts, read 22,316,262 times
Reputation: 9263
Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
* Note to reader: The previous social experience I've had with him was him leaving me in the middle of a social situation, not introducing me to his acquintences NOR introducing me to any friend he brings to the house (which have only be like a few).
It sounds as though you had a difficult time fitting in at this social experience on your own and he probably wants to have fun with his friends without having a third wheel.

And in reading your responses to some of the posters on here, it also sounds as if you tend to be a bit on the defensive side. Another turnoff to party goers.

You might be a little too high maintenance for him as a friend, but that shouldn't affect the roommate situation if you two are getting along in that respect. As Rance said, he is your roommate, not your mate.
 
Old 10-26-2007, 10:14 AM
 
25,165 posts, read 47,255,925 times
Reputation: 6942


Hi I am a gay dude. Not openly though. It is secret to roomy.

Fitting in? The situation was an academic social and the problem was purely in his imagination. I almost always fit in anywhere I go.

As for bars and dance clubs I frequent those places and make new friends. But I don't have a car at the moment.

I don't consider myself high maintanence.

Defensive? The way you behave towards a person can cathect defensiveness.

I have a right to say if somebody is rude and that their advice is useless.
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