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Old 10-25-2007, 07:38 PM
 
25,165 posts, read 44,987,316 times
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Hi everyone!

Ok my roommate just informed me that today was his birthday and that he was going to have a party with his friends.
He didn't invite me or ask if I wanted to go and celebrate.

He just walked up to me and said "hey today is my birthday. My friends are having a party for me. I will be celebrating it with some friends" then silence.... I informed him a couple times in the past that I am a social person that likes to party, so he is very aware of that (not a secret). So ....is this like some form of social attack on me or something? Any conniving manipulators out there that know what this is
REALLY about???

Something odd about the situation is that he said I could get a ride with him to a halloween bash next week but not his birthday party..., so he knows the concept of giving invitations which makes this an obvious snub.

* Note to reader: The previous social experience I've had with him was him leaving me in the middle of a social situation, not introducing me to his acquintences NOR introducing me to any friend he brings to the house (which have only be like a few).

We are both in graduate school. Both very smart people. I consider myself to be better looking ( I do look very young for my age), I am a good deal taller than him, and a bit more fun natured, funny, happy go lucky and social. So, I am not a gross smelly antisocial person or anything if you thought that. But as of NOW I am rather confused and irritated. Thankfully I plan to graduate in less than 2 years in case this odd person continues to choose to be antisocial with me.

Your thoughts, advice, opinions, and insights are welcomed

Last edited by artsyguy; 10-25-2007 at 07:48 PM..

 
Old 10-25-2007, 07:54 PM
 
558 posts, read 1,941,714 times
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How MUCH taller are you... ?
 
Old 10-25-2007, 07:56 PM
 
25,165 posts, read 44,987,316 times
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lol. Why? By about 4 inches.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SaveMtns View Post
How MUCH taller are you... ?
 
Old 10-25-2007, 07:57 PM
 
Location: I'm not lost, I'm exploring!
3,402 posts, read 11,517,781 times
Reputation: 5693
I suggest you draw a white chalk line down the middle of your "living arangements" with him, and let him know, that until he starts inviting you to his parties, you are going to snub him right back!
 
Old 10-25-2007, 07:58 PM
 
558 posts, read 1,941,714 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
lol. Why? By about 4 inches.
Sounds like SMCBS to me!
 
Old 10-25-2007, 08:06 PM
 
Location: OKC, OK
640 posts, read 284,168 times
Reputation: 133
Being a room-mate doesn't require being buddies. If you didn't even know it was his birthday, I mean, c'mon?? I wouldn't have my feelings hurt if I were you. I'd just chalk it up to not mixing business (room-mate) with pleasure.
 
Old 10-25-2007, 08:08 PM
 
25,165 posts, read 44,987,316 times
Reputation: 6884
explain what that means.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SaveMtns View Post
Sounds like SMCBS to me!
 
Old 10-25-2007, 08:10 PM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
14,831 posts, read 31,131,099 times
Reputation: 12621
It's hard to say what is really going on with your roommate without meeting all of you in person. But some people like to keep their roommates separate from being their friends. And also, since it's his friends throwing the birthday party for him, he may not feel that he is expected to bring you along as they are picking up the tab. If you were his girlfriend, that would be different. And also, if his friends wanted you to be at the party, they would have called your apartment to make you a direct invitation to it.

Just have your own friends and keep the roommate thing separate and just business like. Maybe in the past, your roommate has been taken advantage of by roommates that tried to be friends and then were late on the bills. Or maybe he is worried that his friends will eventually like you better than him.

I live with my boyfriend, but we've had two different friends where their roommates just assumed that they were our friends too by association. But while they had similar interests, they were jerky people and one of them I had to tell off twice and let him know that he would never be welcome at our house. He also had left our friend in the lurch because he felt like moving out suddenly, he was a mooch and also drank too much. The other roommate was lonely, with a broken car and just assumed that he could tag along with our friend and not chip in for gas.

So anyway, if you weren't friends before moving in together, then just assume that it's only a business arrangement of convenience.
 
Old 10-25-2007, 08:10 PM
 
25,165 posts, read 44,987,316 times
Reputation: 6884
He informed me that he was looking to make new friends in our city. I don't see his behavior as being very honest. So your help is pretty much useless.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sooner_Nation_60 View Post
Being a room-mate doesn't require being buddies. If you didn't even know it was his birthday, I mean, c'mon?? I wouldn't have my feelings hurt if I were you. I'd just chalk it up to not mixing business (room-mate) with pleasure.
 
Old 10-25-2007, 08:11 PM
 
Location: I'm not lost, I'm exploring!
3,402 posts, read 11,517,781 times
Reputation: 5693
Quote:
Originally Posted by SaveMtns View Post
Sounds like SMCBS to me!
oh NO SaveMtns... this is more serious than that. this looks like a total SMTRABS
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