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I'm asking this on behalf of my neighbor. She has been dating a guy for a little while now. She has a male friend of 3 years who before she even started dating her BF, she was thinking of cutting the friend off. He has been mainly negative, one sided and flaky. A while back she gave the friend the keys to her apartment in case of an emergency.
Out of respect for the BF, she asked the friend for the keys back. He said "why the hell should the BF care if I have the keys, I was your friend before you met him". Before I wasn't living here, but she now has me to have the keys instead of her friend since I live next door. The friend was also very negative about her relationship with her BF from the beginning.
She asked him why can't he just respect her wishes. She doesn't want to tell the BF that said friend even has the keys because he does not think highly of the friend. I'm not too keen on him either.
Is she wrong to ask for the keys back when she has me to check in case of emergency and do you think that the friend has a right to overreact about the keys?
She is not wrong to ask for the keys back.
But at this point, now that he's angry about it, he may well have made copies of them. It's time to change the locks.
Seems to me, that your friend isnt really without fault here either. Speculation: she wants the keys back from the guy friend, since she doesnt want her bf to find out that another man has keys to her apartment. However, if this guy was always just a platonic friend, i am not sure why she wouldnt be able to keep him as an emergency key keeper. If that were the case, chances are she would t even think of it or believe that her boyfriend would have been bothered by it. So instead of being forward and honest with her bf, she is trying to wash her hands of this situation behind her bfs back. Seems little shady to me, if thats the case.
"Out of respect for her BF"?? It's bizarre and kind of ridiculous to think that a male neighbor couldn't be your emergency keyholder just because she now has a BF.
But her neighbor acted like a baby when she asked him to return the keys.
She needs to change the locks, and avoid the weird "friend."
It does sound exactly like a Seinfeld episode.
She thought about asking for the keys back from her friend before she even met the BF. Their friendship had been strained for a while before this. However this is now the nail in the coffin. He's not a neighbor, he was a friend. I live next door, so it's easier that I have a set of keys.
I also don't see how her asking for her keys back is acting like a baby. She asked him and he made assumptions as to why. They're her keys, she has every right to them. The fact he made such a fuss over it to go as far as breaking the keys and sending her a pic makes him the one acting like a baby here.
I'm asking this on behalf of my neighbor. She has been dating a guy for a little while now. She has a male friend of 3 years who before she even started dating her BF, she was thinking of cutting the friend off. He has been mainly negative, one sided and flaky. A while back she gave the friend the keys to her apartment in case of an emergency.
Out of respect for the BF, she asked the friend for the keys back. He said "why the hell should the BF care if I have the keys, I was your friend before you met him". Before I wasn't living here, but she now has me to have the keys instead of her friend since I live next door. The friend was also very negative about her relationship with her BF from the beginning.
She asked him why can't he just respect her wishes. She doesn't want to tell the BF that said friend even has the keys because he does not think highly of the friend. I'm not too keen on him either.
Is she wrong to ask for the keys back when she has me to check in case of emergency and do you think that the friend has a right to overreact about the keys?
He's probably not a friend, and a good reason why she wanted to cut ties long time ago.
He's not a friend because friends want what's best for their "friend."
And, this is why I have trouble keeping male-friends, because they're not truly friends if they're that close (emotionally and physically).
If he's gay and acting like that, he's DEFINITELY not a friend. If he's not gay, and still acts like that? He's a child, possibly a user, and more than that, a sleeze or too much of a wuss. Waste of time.
A 38 year old man breaking the keys and sending a picture of it is symbolic of the friendship but immature at the same time. Its high school behavior, A poster above is correct -A real friend wants the best for the other, does not mean they will always agree but the support should still stand. He also was rude with the way he spoke to her.
In my opinion she's not wrong as it's her keys to do whatever she feels like and excluding freedom of speech he doesn't have a right to overreact about the keys though he likely thinks he does as going by his reaction he probably thinks he's a victim of being a 'nice guy' who was 'friend zoned'.
In my opinion she's not wrong as it's her keys to do whatever she feels like and excluding freedom of speech he doesn't have a right to overreact about the keys though he likely thinks he does as going by his reaction he probably thinks he's a victim of being a 'nice guy' who was 'friend zoned'.
If you agree to be the "emergency keyholder" for a chick, and you're not dating her or at least knocking her down, you're already in the friend zone. You might as well sign up for airport shuttle duty while you're at it, 'cause you're just the nice guy sucker in her eyes.
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