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Old 03-23-2013, 04:31 PM
 
8 posts, read 6,734 times
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Well my story goes back to those horrible flashbacks of my stepfather and what he would do to all of us till the day he left. I saw a guy trying to do something similar a couple days ago and I just reacted. I end up fighting and bloodied him . Even so, I still ended up with a black eye and some punches (he also got me). I got away quickly before anyone called the cops and it was just the three of us. The girl left and walked away from our fight.

I don't know if that was worth it? Or should I have just made a report and further investigate what it was all about? Thing is I don't really know what happened. I just reacted with giving second thoughts. Now I don't think I'll do that again. Though I'm still wondering if someone else saw this (if so, I'm going to get reported, hope not).

This is what I've always wanted to do to my abusive stepfather. I would if I ever saw him again. I hate abusers. But when he left, I was only 14, still not strong enough to beat him.

Needless to say due to my eye still swollen, I had to miss work. I don't regret beating the living hell out of him but now I'm not sure if this was even worth it.
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Old 03-23-2013, 04:34 PM
 
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Sounds like it to me. While probably not the best way, I can understand why you handled it that way.
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Old 03-23-2013, 04:37 PM
 
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These were the words he said that further enraged me:
''You get out of the way punk, this is between me and my *****''
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Old 03-23-2013, 04:39 PM
 
Location: Brooklyn,NY
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If it was used to save a woman from being beaten up, I commend you for your actions.
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Old 03-23-2013, 04:53 PM
 
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OP: Only you can decide whether it was worth it. Your post seems troubled over it, but like D.Scott writes, if you were defending someone, it may have been the right thing to do.
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Old 03-23-2013, 05:11 PM
 
8 posts, read 6,734 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by metamorphosis View Post
OP: Only you can decide whether it was worth it. Your post seems troubled over it, but like D.Scott writes, if you were defending someone, it may have been the right thing to do.
True. I knew what that loser was about to do. Though I swung first and this could have had me charged.
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Old 03-23-2013, 05:33 PM
 
Location: The Land of Reason
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It was a very noble thing to do, however I remember something that my father told me after my cousin's boyfriend hit her. He said "how would you feel if she hit him first or he has been beating her up all along and keeps going back to him?" After thinking about it and then wondering if I step in between something like that and get seriously hurt AND she goes back to him. My solution now is whenever I see something like that happening, I try to reason with the aggressor and if he attacks me, well now we have a real donnybrook!
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Old 03-23-2013, 05:59 PM
 
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I don't think you should have beaten the guy up. You should have called the cops.

For one, a cop will tell you that domestic violence situations are very dangerous because very often the woman being beaten will turn on her rescuer. The other thing is that you can almost bet that the woman in this case went right back to him and if anything he let her have it for flirting with you and encouraging you to butt in. It can make it much worse if it looks like another man "wants" her and these men aren't stable, they'll look for any excuse to blame the woman for everything that goes wrong in his life - and that includes having some guy bloody him up.

These relationships are a lot more complicated than you might think. If the police get involved, in many places, the victim can no longer drop charges like they will so often do. It's also on record which would help the next time there's a call made. She might be offered counseling or shelter at a domestic violence shelter.

All you did was beat him up which will make him more angry at her, give him another excuse to punish her but you didn't get her out of the living arrangement she has with him.
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Old 03-23-2013, 06:15 PM
 
8 posts, read 6,734 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by malamute View Post
All you did was beat him up which will make him more angry at her, give him another excuse to punish her but you didn't get her out of the living arrangement she has with him.
I would have helped her and found a shelter but she already left right during our fight. This worries me. It would really suck if after all that, she goes back to him.

Last edited by LuigiI7; 03-23-2013 at 07:02 PM..
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Old 03-23-2013, 07:14 PM
 
8 posts, read 6,734 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by simetime View Post
It was a very noble thing to do, however I remember something that my father told me after my cousin's boyfriend hit her. He said "how would you feel if she hit him first or he has been beating her up all along and keeps going back to him?" After thinking about it and then wondering if I step in between something like that and get seriously hurt AND she goes back to him. My solution now is whenever I see something like that happening, I try to reason with the aggressor and if he attacks me, well now we have a real donnybrook!
This is what I'll also be doing from now on before jumping to conclusions.

If it's the first case like you mentioned, she hitting him first. Well this would slightly change my view on the situation. It's still not right either way but I wouldn't beat the guy. I would talk to the guy and explain to him that walking away is better and how he can report her for assault instead of hitting back (only time for me to consider this is if either my life or that of a loved one is at stake) or suggest they both get counseling and anger management classes.

If the woman did indeed went back to him, then it would really have to be up to her to report him. This I'll never get. Why go back to an abuser? I would still feel sad but at the same time annoyed.
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