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Old 10-27-2007, 05:16 AM
 
238 posts, read 1,040,206 times
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I suspect that many of us spend alot of time with people we do not like just because they are family. I know there are members of my extended family (Aunts and Uncles and Cousins) that I see and socialize with on an occasional basis that I would prefer that I never see again but am forced by my Mother and Grandma to put on a happy face and grin and bear it. (I see the bad relatives to keep my Grandma happy)

My wife has a distant and cold relationship with her brothers and sisters but has agreed to get together with them for trips just because they are family. She would not give the time of day to any of them if they were not family.

Just because someone is family, is this a good enough reason to spend time with them even if the relationship is terribly distant and strained?
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Old 10-27-2007, 06:40 AM
 
Location: St Thomas, US Virgin Islands
24,671 posts, read 58,350,450 times
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We all have to bite the bullet once in a while and deal diplomatically with people in a social setting that we really don't care for or, in your case, in an effort to maintain family peace. What do you mean when you refer to "trips" though? For instance, going on a weeklong sailing trip when six of the other eight people on board are people you really detest would be sheer lunacy, in my opinion, and no situation in which to put yourself just to appease the two people that you DO like and for whatever reason you feel obligated to! Cheers!
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Old 10-27-2007, 07:12 AM
 
Location: NE Florida
9,362 posts, read 22,794,597 times
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I can do a couple of hours once a year. But turned down an all-expenses paid ten-day family cruise a year ago. Sanity is priceless!
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Old 10-27-2007, 11:17 AM
 
Location: Phoenix
17 posts, read 36,797 times
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Just because someone is family, is this a good enough reason to spend time with them even if the relationship is terribly distant and strained?

Nope, I say do what makes you happy!
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Old 10-27-2007, 11:50 AM
 
15,254 posts, read 16,819,147 times
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Certainly not if your vacation time is limited. If you only get a few weeks off from a job each year you need to spend it doing something you want to do--not faking having fun with people you don't like. If you've got unlimited time you might want to try and suck it up.
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Old 10-27-2007, 03:18 PM
 
169 posts, read 583,971 times
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Having (stupidly) spent far too much time with certain family members or in-laws that I don't like, just because "it's expected/they're family" .... No I would never do it again.

Life's too short and I prefer not to waste any more of it being with people who stress me out.
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Old 10-27-2007, 05:22 PM
 
Location: Orlando
8,178 posts, read 16,542,413 times
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This reminds me of a family reunion we went to last Aug.
Hubby and I made our own travel arrangement while three others decided to travel together.
We get there and figured out that all but 5 were from the same town.

At 1st hubby and I joked that we had to travel from Orlando to Crested Butte to see family members that lived 15 minutes from us. The we realized that we didn't hang with them at home for a reason and wouldn't again travel that far to vacation with them.

I'll spend a day with them but never vacation with either family.
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Old 10-27-2007, 11:19 PM
 
Location: San Diego, CA
223 posts, read 638,744 times
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I gotta chuckle at this one.
I dont like my extended family.
So, no I would not spend time with them... I haven't seen most of my ext. family for many years.

wife's family, on the other hand, I would deal with - They aren't as bad as mine, and It would make my wife happy.
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Old 10-27-2007, 11:28 PM
 
Location: CA
2,464 posts, read 5,820,261 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by goodtype View Post
I suspect that many of us spend alot of time with people we do not like just because they are family. I know there are members of my extended family (Aunts and Uncles and Cousins) that I see and socialize with on an occasional basis that I would prefer that I never see again but am forced by my Mother and Grandma to put on a happy face and grin and bear it. (I see the bad relatives to keep my Grandma happy)

My wife has a distant and cold relationship with her brothers and sisters but has agreed to get together with them for trips just because they are family. She would not give the time of day to any of them if they were not family.

Just because someone is family, is this a good enough reason to spend time with them even if the relationship is terribly distant and strained?
I am not a believer in spending time with people I don't like because they are family. Some people can just cross that line where I'm done with them, family or not... and unless they drastically change who they are I would rather not even be in the same room with them unless I have to (like a funeral). No one has the right to treat you like crap even if they are family... but that's just me...
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Old 10-29-2007, 02:27 AM
 
1 posts, read 2,113 times
Reputation: 10
Smile Iam with you

[quote=mommabear2;1849194]I am not a believer in spending time with people I don't like because they are family. Some people can just cross that line where I'm done with them, family or not... and unless they drastically change who they are I would rather not even be in the same room with them unless I have to (like a funeral). No one has the right to treat you like crap even if they are family... but that's just me...I hav to agree with you all the way,believe me when I was down and out my kids were the worst people I could go for help,not all of them,their good kids and they have their problems too,but living with any of them for get it!!!! i mean even for a short time,I nevr felt I was welcomed and i was constantlly reminded they were doing me a big favor,I never sponged off anyone in my life,I paid my ways any place I went.why didn't I get a apartment of my own??? I think its called lonelynessIam 64 lost two of my sisters in the last three years,my father was 55 when he died and my mother 60 ..someday the tables will turn and they will get the crap end of the stick just like me
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