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Old 05-29-2014, 08:52 AM
32,037 posts, read 32,808,245 times
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Originally Posted by Trimac20 View Post
Does it seem that teenage girls are more forward/pro-active than women in their 20s?

Apparently a lot of folks think so...plenty of you, I'm sure, had an older friend, maybe it was someone middle aged, maybe someone in their 20s. You might've met them at some extra-curricular activity or something, and they're just friends, someone a bit older who can also give you a bit of guidance in life and whatnot. As you can read in the linked thread, I'm online friends with a few people who happen to be under 18. We just talk on facebook, that's it, and not even all that much, but apparently that's totally inappropriate.

What do you think? Should teenagers, specifically those under 18, be friends with people in their 20s or older?
I see no problem with it as long as the parents of the teenager know about this person and preferably have met him/her themselves to make sure it is an above board friendship.
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Old 05-29-2014, 09:23 AM
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Originally Posted by Osito View Post
I wish I could say otherwise, I really do, but adults who befriend children and teenagers have ill intentions.
That is not true.
I don't know why but I as a teenage girl and even now, have always been with older people....once a teacher, female, who did a report on me, we got to be friends and it went on to this day. We both were married, she had children, I had children, they live pretty far away. We don't see each other much, but we do stay in contact with calls and emails.

even now, my friends are much older then I am....

My foster mother was my best friend.....and I've always gravitated to older people, they were much more mature, grounded and good positive reinforcements of advice and so forth.
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Old 05-29-2014, 11:40 AM
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The only absolute truth about raising kids is that there are no absolute truths.

There are lots of adults who enjoy being mentors to younger people. Youth organizations are built around this concept in general and it's a great way for kids to learn from adults. There's nothing wrong with an adult who is friends with a kid despite them being under 18. The problem is the adult that's friends with a kid because they're under 18.

A lot of people have a hard time figuring out which is which, so it's easier to assume they're all bad. Reality is a shade of grey.

Last edited by Jeo123; 05-29-2014 at 11:59 AM..
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Old 11-10-2014, 12:36 AM
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I am 19 years old. just recently, my mother pointed out that adults and kids have SERIOUS boundaries when it comes to being friends, especially on the internet. I have a friend that is 13, so you can imagine how worried i became.
I am a good person. i would never fall to such disgusting habits that other, more dangerous people do. However, now i'm afraid that i might be looked upon like that to my friend's mother and that i would have the police called on me in suspicion of me being a sexual predator
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Old 11-10-2014, 12:59 AM
Location: The Netherlands
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It depends, when I was a kid I use to have contact with my brother's friends boys girls almost every one. Some times when my brother not available some of her girl friends comes to hang around with me play tennis or go fro wind surfing or watch a movie with a popcorn my parents never said no as well I had some friends in higher grades at school due to we play chess together and we used to in chess club together. As a grown up if my daughter would find some friends like that that is fine. But u if some total stranger comes with motor bike and ask my daughter to go for a round ah nah that is not acceptable.
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Old 11-17-2014, 11:00 AM
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At the age of 15/16 most of my friends were 25-45, however they almost all grew out of a similar hobby (Cars). At first my parents were uneasy but when some of them came around and they saw that they were teaching me things and seeing that we all have similar interests, they liked the idea of me having older friends. They taught me alot more then car related stuff, things about doing well in school and career/life advice. Even now there are a few kids in the neighborhood that come by whenever they see me working on my car because it interests them, I wouldnt call them friends (maybe in a few years when they can drive), but I can easily see myself befriending them and passing on the torch.
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Old 11-17-2014, 11:07 AM
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Well this is an old thread but I had older friends when I was a teen. And even if they weren't ill intentioned, they treated me like an adult and I was exposed to conversations and situations and other adults that weren't healthy. And some were ill intentioned.

I had trouble dealing with the drama of peers. So I liked to hang out with adults and baby sit kids. I still had peer friends, but took refuge in other age friends

Still, if they were a mentor, I could see that (no real time alone). Other that, for my kids, no way in hell.
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Old 11-18-2014, 08:41 AM
Location: Monnem Germany/ from San Diego
2,263 posts, read 2,451,907 times
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Mark, one of my best friend ever, I met when I was seventeen and he was maybe 23 or 24. We met on the dock after a day of racing sailboats. We drank and smoked weed together but its not like I was not doing that already, I was used to hanging out with my brothers friends who were all 10 years older anyways. Really at 16 my parents had no influence in my friends.

I went into the army in 84 and when I got out in 87 I worked at his windsurfing school on Kauai for a while. I helped him build a couple of houses on Maui. We sailed the 2 man LA to Honolulu Transpac in 95 together. Lots of crazy stories which I cant post here. After the late 90s we kind of drifted apart but I was really sad to hear he was lost at sea about 8 years ago.
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Old 03-14-2015, 09:27 AM
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It is inappropriate for obvious reasons, so find new friends your own age.
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Old 03-14-2015, 10:02 AM
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Originally Posted by Trimac20 View Post
...What do you think? Should teenagers, specifically those under 18, be friends with people in their 20s or older?
When I was in my teens I was friends with married adults (usually one of the couple) that my parents only knew distantly. The friendships were invaluable to growing up, along with a close relationship with an aunt.

My parents were unhappily married, and my mother had an extraordinarily immature personality. My parents child-raising was based on bullying and ridicule as the ultimate fallback, and had a streak of arbitrary anger in it that made life seem senseless.

Thank god for these other adults!
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