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My kids actually complain to me that there are teachers who are "friends" with some of the kids on facebook or myspace -- they aren't into social media but they are gamers. They don't think it's appropriate. I have actually had to say to them that if it's just a fb "friend" it might not mean much at all as long as the teacher keeps his/her page professional.
I'm old fashioned, but sometimes my kids are even more so.
I find that creepy...I would show my kids how to block....or just "unfriend" these teachers or whomever. Who sent the friend request....Your kid? or the Teacher?
Why take the chance with all we see about teachers and students on the news these days. I might want to speak to a teacher who sent a friend request to my kid...unless the classroom has a facebook, I woul not be comfortable w/ this.
Heck, I'm not even facebook friends w/ my boss...Why would I want him to know that my cousin posted he is depressed about his break-up with his girlfriend....lol
Last edited by JanND; 04-01-2013 at 03:18 PM..
Reason: edit text
My kids actually complain to me that there are teachers who are "friends" with some of the kids on facebook or myspace -- they aren't into social media but they are gamers. They don't think it's appropriate. I have actually had to say to them that if it's just a fb "friend" it might not mean much at all as long as the teacher keeps his/her page professional.
I'm old fashioned, but sometimes my kids are even more so.
If any grown adult is still using Myspace in 2013, they should just go straight to jail with no trial for being a child predator.
I have wondered about the same issue regarding my 15-year-old sons hanging out with their drum corps instructor, who is 24. At first, we thought it was not such a big deal and then I had to observe the conduct of the particular adult. First, I did not perceive him to be a positive role model--I caught him using bad language, he barely made it out of high school and he is severely underemployed--mostly unemployed, he has a bad temper and prone to altercations, and he behaves as if he is their age--indicating arrested development. While you can review the matter on a case by case basis, it is helpful to consider why the adult is so involved with young people. Taking young people out for ice cream as a coach and/or teacher during an outing is one thing but prolonged interaction, such as regular facebook chatting and telephone calls, should give one pause for concern.
I know this thread is old but I'd like to contribute anyway. I'm 17 and I'm friends with many adults at my parish. I'm also friends with their kids. Is there any problem? No. Do they perceive any problem? Still no. It might help that they are friends with my parents and their kids are friends with my younger siblings. However, they trust me enough around their kids and my parents trust them around me. So personally, I think it's all about trust-if you trust the older person enough, and they've proved themselves worthy of trust, then there should be nothing to worry about.
That's it, really. Kids are being raised to be alienated from whole generations, and losing the wisdom they have to pass on.
Oh, yeah, I forgot about another friendship I had for a long, long time.
When I was 16, I got a car.
It was a Ford...when it was serviced at Ford, I was assigned a service manager.
He was in his 40s at least - maybe older...he was so nice and so helpful. Like let me take his car when mine was being worked on helpful. He would explain how cars worked. He got me a job in the body shop when I needed $$ for a new fan. He was also a fan of WWII, so we would chat about that. He made golf clubs so we always talked about golfing together, but we never did get around to it.
As I grew into an adult, he was the one I would call if I was at a repair shop in another town to see if he thought things were kosher.
I would always visit him when I was in town.
When I graduated med school, he had tears in his eyes.
When I was getting married, we all (his wife, too) went to dinner together.
There was nothing sordid there. He was like the grandfather I never had (bc both of mine died when I was very little). He was a kind man I will never forget. I don't know how I could ever thank him for everything he did for me. Pay it forward, I guess.
My dentist and his wife are the same way. I met them when I was 13 years old. He and his wife have no children. I am now 38 and he is still my dentist. Because they have seen us grow up, they are protective of us. They both give us special treatment, make extra time for us, and even came to our graduation ceremonies (I swear to you, I still use the coffee maker he gave me in 1998 for my college graduation). We talk about business, life, politics...they are my friends. Like an aunt and uncle I never got to relate to (because again...they all live thousands of miles away or on the other side of the world).
I think adults do have something to contribute to younger people. I would hope if I ever advised a younger person or befriended them, no one would think something sordid was going on. Sometimes it is just mentorship.
I would find it completely odd now, but when I was between the ages of 13 and 17 I hung out with my neighbour and her friends quite a bit. She had to have been at least 30. I'm 27, and there is no way I would ever want to hang out with a teenager. I don't even like hanging out with 20 year olds, or even around my age. I only really like being around people a lot older than me. I've never really liked people my own age but it's been changing the last few years. I do know a few people my age who I get along with. Most of the time though, I get along better with people in their 30's or 40's.
Depends on the age group and what kind of friends they actually are. There's a difference between an acquaintance you just talk to sometimes when you have to be in the same setting, someone you just go to for mentoring/advice, and someone you physically hang out with on your free time outside of activities.
For minors, those distinctions are the most important, for both sides. In their case, I don't think the last one is appropriate. The first two are fine if the adult isn't a negative influence.
You know, I never even considered it before but AOL put me in contact with plenty of lifetime friends that are well into 10+ years my senior.
Would that fly now? Definitely not, but I can tell you that I can list at least seven people that were in their 20s/30s while I was in my teens that I count as friends even to this day. Bear in mind, they were all respectful of my age so it was never a situation where I was asked to meet any of them in person (that didn't happen until I was in my 20s for myself), but I guess people were a little different in the 90s/early 2000s.
That said, would my eyebrows raise if my teen kids talked about a twenty-something friend? You betcha. I'd keep my eye on them like a hawk.
Can anyone give me some advice? My 17 year old sister has made friends with one of the mums of a child in her dance class. She spends a lot of time with her, sleeps over etc. My sister's attitude has completely changed, she lies all the time and we barely see her. We are all concerned about her because we all agree that there's something not right, my dad suspects grooming and my m suspects emotional blackmail.Would I be able to get the police involved in this matter? Has anyone had a similar situation?
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