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Old 03-29-2013, 10:00 AM
 
775 posts, read 1,059,236 times
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So we are in the process of purchasing a home. My husband and I are in our 40's and have 2 children. We have our budget set and will be using my husbands trust, which is currently managed by his uncle, for our down payment. His uncle is aware of our plan and our budget for the home. We have told him what kind of home we are looking for but I think he would like to see us get a steal or a good deal. Meaning, we would like minimal work, fairly move in ready and he would like us to consider foreclosures and homes that need work. My husband is not a "handyman" by any means so any work we would do we would have to hire a contractor for. With 2 babies around its not the ideal situation for us to buy a fixer rignt now. The only remodeling I am interested is on HGTV to be honest.
We found a home we love. Its at the top of our budget but falls in line with the $/sq feet we have been looking at. We went ahead and made an offer, paid earnest $$ and have inspections scheduled in three days.
My husband told me last night that his uncle wasnt expecting this house to be that high a price and he needs to see the listing flyer, details on the house, comps, etc. I asked my husband why it was such a surprise to his uncle- didnt he tell him about the house and that we were making an offer? The answer to that was no, he thought since his uncle knew our budget and plan that we had the ok. He also said when he spoke to his uncle initially about our plan that his uncle, knowing our budget, said "go for it". My husband said his uncle wants what is best for us and doesnt want us to get in over our heads. I am a little put off by this, I am 40 and have a family. I am pretty sure I know whats best for my family and can make my own decisions. I am pretty sure my husband can too. I am also really upset by all this because we put down most of our savings in earnest $$ and have an offer signed. Now we are waiting for his uncle to go over the details on is home before he gives the ok to get the down payment from our trust.
Am I overreacting here? I am sick to my stomach over all this
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Old 03-29-2013, 10:22 AM
 
Location: Alaska
5,356 posts, read 16,342,402 times
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At this point, your worrying may be much ado about nothing. First, you need to get through the inspection. Second, assuming the comps support the price you paid, husband's uncle should have no problem with releasing the down payment. While he may have wanted you to buy a fixer upper, he sounds like he has your best interests in mind and probably is frugal enough to not let you lose your earnest money.
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Old 03-29-2013, 10:26 AM
 
775 posts, read 1,059,236 times
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Not planning on putting any money towards this purchase if we dont get the $$ for the down payment though.
I can appreciate he may have our best interests at heart but I certainly dont want him being the one making decisions for our family you know?
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Old 03-29-2013, 10:28 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,192 posts, read 41,793,678 times
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I wish I knew more about trusts. What kind of trust is it?

I certainly would be p*ssed. You guys are in your 40s and should not have to ask permission. But trusts are usually established for a reason, so the reason is key.
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Old 03-29-2013, 10:33 AM
 
775 posts, read 1,059,236 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
I wish I knew more about trusts. What kind of trust is it?

I certainly would be p*ssed. You guys are in your 40s and should not have to ask permission. But trusts are usually established for a reason, so the reason is key.
It is a trust set up by my husbands grandfather long ago. Basically, at some point in the future (15years or so) we will be able to retire and live off of it. Its a sizeable trust lets put it that way. My husband also received a sizeable amount after the death of his father as well. The down payment is a drop in the bucket compared to what the trust will be worth in 15 years
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Old 03-29-2013, 10:38 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,192 posts, read 41,793,678 times
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Thx for the info. I don't need to know the amount. I readily admit that I don't know the legalities of various types of trusts, but I have never heard of one that has to be managed for you until retirement!

I think you would get some good advice if you post this in the Finance forum. I don't know that there's much to do about the relationship with your uncle (not sure you need help there), but you may have rights to your own $$.

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Old 03-29-2013, 10:51 AM
 
1,305 posts, read 2,160,597 times
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If you care so much about it, then make your own money and pay the downpayment. If not, just shut up and be thankful the uncle is helping you out. If someone is giving you money, you don't get the right to be picky.
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Old 03-29-2013, 11:00 AM
 
775 posts, read 1,059,236 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by capitol View Post
If you care so much about it, then make your own money and pay the downpayment. If not, just shut up and be thankful the uncle is helping you out. If someone is giving you money, you don't get the right to be picky.
But it is our money. And if we didnt get the "ok" to get the money from the trust for a downpayment in the first place we woud have gone another direction.
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Old 03-29-2013, 11:02 AM
 
Location: Alaska
5,356 posts, read 16,342,402 times
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He's really not making decisions for your family, he's making decisions for the trust. It sounds like he's being a good custodian of the trust, by ensuring it will be available for its intended purpose. It sounds like your husband went through his father's sizable inheritance without a house being bought, so that may be tempering his uncle. If his grandfather was alive then, I'd guess that's why the trust was set up.

At this point, you need to make a case as to why his uncle should release the funds. Info on the house is first, but I'd also give him what your plans are for the house for the next 10-20 years. His uncle is deciding whether the down payment is a good investment for the trust, if it serves the intent of it. As long as it pans out to be a good investment, his uncle will likely release the funds.
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Old 03-29-2013, 11:05 AM
 
775 posts, read 1,059,236 times
Reputation: 513
Quote:
Originally Posted by akck View Post
He's really not making decisions for your family, he's making decisions for the trust. It sounds like he's being a good custodian of the trust, by ensuring it will be available for its intended purpose. It sounds like your husband went through his father's sizable inheritance without a house being bought, so that may be tempering his uncle. If his grandfather was alive then, I'd guess that's why the trust was set up.

At this point, you need to make a case as to why his uncle should release the funds. Info on the house is first, but I'd also give him what your plans are for the house for the next 10-20 years. His uncle is deciding whether the down payment is a good investment for the trust, if it serves the intent of it. As long as it pans out to be a good investment, his uncle will likely release the funds.
We havent taken any funds from my husband's inheritance. All of that was invested
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