U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 04-01-2013, 08:51 AM
 
Location: A tropical island
4,551 posts, read 4,415,800 times
Reputation: 11184

Advertisements

I don't think he's being rude at all. He is, after all, calling you by your very real and very legal name. Many people have been raised to believe that the use of first names is inappropriate in certain relationships, for various reasons. Expecting him to alter his ingrained beliefs is where the rudeness lies. I suppose the only way you will be both be satisfied is if he simply doesn't call you anything.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 04-01-2013, 08:53 AM
 
Location: East Coast
2,898 posts, read 4,570,568 times
Reputation: 4280
Quote:
Originally Posted by PAhippo View Post
Maybe he's not in love with you and it's his way of keeping the distance.
Heh...I was thinking the same thing.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-01-2013, 10:26 AM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,052,657 times
Reputation: 22371
Quote:
Originally Posted by kayanne View Post
I don't think he's being rude at all. He is, after all, calling you by your very real and very legal name. Many people have been raised to believe that the use of first names is inappropriate in certain relationships, for various reasons. Expecting him to alter his ingrained beliefs is where the rudeness lies. I suppose the only way you will be both be satisfied is if he simply doesn't call you anything.
^ ^ ^Agree

There are definitely people in my life who call me MRS. Anifani b/c it is a sign of respect. Employees, students . . . I don't understand why someone would consider this rude. Even if I say - feel free to call me Ani - that doesn't mean the other person DOES feel free to address me by my first name.

I cannot imagine why anyone would find this RUDE regardless of what setting it is in - formal or informal, business or away from a business setting. I continue to call professors Dr. So-and-So even though they have retired and I am older than they were when they taught me. I have had some of them say - "feel free to address me as John" but sorry - I will always think of those folks as Dr. So-and So - even if we are members of the same club, or see each other at a football game.

You are older than this young man so . . . the whole thing about "making you feel old" is silly. That is your hang up - just as this whole "Mrs." thing is your hang up.

I can't believe you are making an issue out of someone showing respect.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-01-2013, 04:10 PM
 
Location: SoCal
6,055 posts, read 9,492,395 times
Reputation: 5783
Quote:
Originally Posted by jtaustin View Post
No, the bottom line is I asked somebody not to do something and they refuse. Their refusal is socially awkward and infantalizes them.
Why is it them and not you who is being socially awkward?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-01-2013, 04:59 PM
 
10,378 posts, read 8,377,418 times
Reputation: 19127
If you are in love with this person, why is this thread in the Non-Romantic Relationship forum?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-01-2013, 08:23 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
21,636 posts, read 14,239,850 times
Reputation: 30282
I still think you should let this go. If the others laugh, they laugh. Its no skin off your nose.

I am perplexed why this is a problem for you.

I don't like being called Mrs. Xxxx either, but I can't make people do something they don't feel inclined to do. Its best to chill on this. This is one of these things you cannot change.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-01-2013, 09:48 PM
 
Location: Greater NYC
2,906 posts, read 4,910,343 times
Reputation: 3872
Quote:
Originally Posted by chielgirl View Post
Here's what you wrote in your OP:


You have an adult student = formal, student/teacher relationship, or as you are now saying, coaching.
You didn't call this person a peer.
Also a colleague = less formal, where everyone is on a first name basis.

You're mad because the person treats you formally in a formal relationship.

Try to be clear in your requests and presentation.
We can only go by what you write.
Yes, agreed. This is what you wrote, OP. I agree with the majority based on the info you've provided.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-01-2013, 10:58 PM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
31,392 posts, read 19,811,577 times
Reputation: 45261
Perhaps he feels that you like him romantically, and wants to be clear that he does not view you that way.


Oops.... just saw others already floated the same idea.
__________________
____________________________________________
My posts as a Mod will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS
And check this out: FAQ
Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-02-2013, 02:27 PM
 
532 posts, read 906,670 times
Reputation: 619
Perhaps he likes me romantically and has been in love with me for 10 years; that's what he told me.

>> I am perplexed why this is a problem for you.


You obviously have never played in a rock band.

I find these forums, of all kinds, *USENET*, etc., to promote responses based on anonymity, insensitive and, in one way, sort of cowardly. As everyone knows, people say things they would never say to your face (they can deny it, but that doesn't matter).

PeaceAndLove, guys; life is too short. Good luck with your lives; all happiness and success.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-02-2013, 07:13 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
42,804 posts, read 41,516,080 times
Reputation: 82297
Why do YOU think he does it, OP?

You never asked US why. You only asked if we thought it was rude.

So why do you really think he's doing it?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 08:33 AM.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top