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I am always envious of people I know who have tons of friends and seem to have a special personal chemistry with them. I see people just having the greatest time visiting with their friends. They tell me they talk all night, laugh and get into the most interesting conversations with so many different people.
I want to meet more friends but in 99% of the time the people I meet don't share any personal chemistry. I am bored or indifferent to them and they feel the same about me. No one is at fault, we just don't click. I try to get in groups and activities with people who share common interests and try to get to know them over time but there is just no personal connection. I try to give them the matter of the doubt and lower my expectations but our interactions are just not satisfying. Many are OK people but I just don't enjoy talking to or spending time with them and the feeling is mutual.
Is this normal or do most people enjoy a good percent of the people they meet? How about you?
I am always envious of people I know who have tons of friends and seem to have a special personal chemistry with them. I see people just having the greatest time visiting with their friends. They tell me they talk all night, laugh and get into the most interesting conversations with so many different people.
I want to meet more friends but in 99% of the time the people I meet don't share any personal chemistry. I am bored or indifferent to them and they feel the same about me. No one is at fault, we just don't click. I try to get in groups and activities with people who share common interests and try to get to know them over time but there is just no personal connection. Many are OK people but I just don't enjoy talking to or spending time with them and the feeling is mutual.
Is this normal or do most people enjoy a good percent of the people they meet? How about you?
Nope. In general, don't enjoy company. Friends are over-rated.
I agree. My wife however feels the opposite. Could be our daily experiences. Could be many people are like us.
I am in the work place with people, receiving personal interaction. She is a SAHM with four kids - not a lot of adult contact time.
Saturday, our kids were in our next door neighbor's pool and I was sitting there talking to the other parents there. I was bored. They are nice people. The women were talking about the gym, spinning, etc. The guys about sports, maybe the local real estate.
I finally walked back to my house and clicked on city-data. Much more satisfying to me.
seem to have a special personal chemistry with them. I see people just having the greatest time visiting with their friends. They tell me they talk all night, laugh and get into the most interesting conversations with so many different people.
What are your hobbies and interests?
Go find people who share those hobbies and interests.
Yes there is a better chance there may be some personal conversational chemistry with someone who shares a common background and shares interest and hobbies but I meet many people who have these commodities and we still have a hard time talking.
It reminds me of being set up for dates when I was single. A friend would tell me that someone was just like me and we had lots of shared interests but once we meet there was no conversational spark, no chemistry. They were fine, not bad people but we just had nothing to talk about after the first attempts at conversation.
Seriously, though, it is harder to find friends as adults. Many adult relationships are transactional, and we also get more choosy and even less tolerant as we age.
I find that the more experiences I have in life, the more I know how I like things done and what interests really interest me. So I want to be around people who feel the same way and have very little room for those who don't. I mean, I can be challenged to a point, but beyond that point it's just work.
The thing is, as we age and work and family commitments take up more of our time, there is less time to find true friends. I just try to really treasure the ones I do have at this age.
I have many acquaintances but few friends by choice. A couple of times a year I bemoan this and make a few attempts to be more social. But I generally get irritated with other people after a while. Even my old friends get on my nerves. Its either their values or vanity when it comes to venues they will frequent (only will eat at nice restaurants, etc.), or even lack of vanity....but I feel annoyance toward friends who don't keep up this personal appearance and look sloppy. I do enjoy social events but after a couple of hours I want to go home. If I could change this one thing about myself I really would. I would like to be a person with tons of friends and a busy social calendar. But whenever I have lots of social things happening over a few weekends I get really edgy and short with people.
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