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Old 04-05-2013, 05:30 PM
 
35,108 posts, read 40,238,434 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fofina View Post
Yes, what my father does on his computer has nothing to do with me. And when I went on Stormfront, I didn't go on the site in order to "snoop" about my father. Like I said I remember someone telling me about it and I clicked onto the site out of my individual curiosity. I didn't expect to find my father's profile on a thread where the OP wished that all mixed race children died of a disease because their existence was "unnatural." I would think that Aliens landing on earth would be a more likely possibility than my dad being a member of such a site. And in light of such a disgusting topic, I'm sorry, maybe you'd simply turn a blind eye to it if your father was the one concerned, but I certainly wouldn't.

My sperm donor is dead and it is no major loss to me or society and he was racist through and through but, that does NOT give me the right to snoop in and around his things "just out of my individual curiosity". You could have gone home or to the library to satisfy your "individual curiosity" instead of staying on his computer and snooping there. No doubt you would have found the same thing however, I thought you stated in your original post that you checked the history as well........."Individual curiosity"?
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Old 04-05-2013, 05:36 PM
 
Location: Mostly in my head
19,822 posts, read 56,009,102 times
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OP, your father could also be suffering the early stages of dementia. Some forms start in the late 40s-early 50s. This could cause a personality change.
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Old 04-05-2013, 05:42 PM
 
18 posts, read 27,236 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610 View Post
My sperm donor is dead and it is no major loss to me or society and he was racist through and through but, that does NOT give me the right to snoop in and around his things "just out of my individual curiosity". You could have gone home or to the library to satisfy your "individual curiosity" instead of staying on his computer and snooping there. No doubt you would have found the same thing however, I thought you stated in your original post that you checked the history as well........."Individual curiosity"?
So going by your logic, because I'd heard of the stuff about any kind of website, but I'd never read it before, and I just happened to click to see what it was exactly about, that would be snooping? I should wait until I go home or go to the library when it's just one click away? So basically by your logic, every single website that is cached and saved on another person's history is a no go? And regarding the sperm donor . . . that was your choice, fair enough, you're entitled to it. Just as I am to mine.
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Old 04-05-2013, 05:45 PM
 
18 posts, read 27,236 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SouthernBelleInUtah View Post
OP, your father could also be suffering the early stages of dementia. Some forms start in the late 40s-early 50s. This could cause a personality change.
I'd never thought of that possibility before. Thank you for bringing it up.
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Old 04-05-2013, 05:58 PM
 
18 posts, read 27,236 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by willow wind View Post
Yes, your dad could have been radicalized after being benign about such things most of his life. The airwaves, TV, internet, etc. are filled with hate. As he gets older, life may seem more insecure for him, the world more dangerous, more confusing, financially frightening, etc.

Hate groups offer common comfort to frightened people. They're simplistic in their thinking. And simple views appeal to people who find the world chaotic. It's also possible that your father was always this way, but never had any reason to overtly express his views. Even the worst racists are usually polite in public.

What should you do about it ? In my opinion, probably nothing. You're an adult, you're out on your own. Who he is has nothing to do with who you are or how you live your life.

First you're going to have to explain why you're snooping in his internet files. Yes, you borrowed his laptop, but you did not need to link to link to link, etc. Your search should have been confined to only what you needed. What you did right there is going to cause a big problem. He will never, ever trust you again.

Secondly nothing you and he can say to each other will change how he thinks. He is not pushing his views onto you to his family. What ever he feels he is keeping to himself. You grew up to be non-racist so he must have been doing something right in raising you.

Really, the discussion you want to have with him is only going to cause a breech in your relationship with him. Let me ask you something. Let's say he admits to being racist. Then what ? Do you want to spend the rest of his life arguing with him ? Do you never want to see him again ? What is it you hope to achieve ? You won't convince him he is wrong. Not going to happen. These views evolve in people on their own. You don't talk people out of them. They have to come to that realization by themselves. It's an internal process, not one you can impose from the outside by reason or arguing.

If you're dad's racism is limited to the internet, so be it. It's if you have children and he tries to indoctrinate them or if he starts spewing forth racist stuff at Christmas dinner with the extended family-- then you have tell him to cut it out. Then there needs to be very strong boundaries.
Like I wrote to another poster, I wasn't snooping. I didn't click on the site expecting my father to have anything to do with it. I'd heard of it before and I just wanted to check out its content. You may think that clicking on a racist site (that has been routinely featured) and not expecting the person who's been on it to have some kind of allegiance with it is strange, but Stormfront has an opposing section forum where people who disagree with their philosophy post their arguments, and that's what the person who initially told me about it, said. Maybe I shouldn't have dug deeper with the internet history (valid criticism) but seeing my father on the same thread which clamors for the death of mixed race children ruffled my feathers.

What is chewing away at me is the question about why my father would be among a group with such reprehensible morals. Like I wrote in my post, I just don't understand and it doesn't make sense. I'm not going to confront him (that wouldn't be a great idea) and maybe you think I'm getting carried why, but I sure as hell would like to know why a family member I love has seemingly become something I don't recognize. It definitely is limited to the internet as far as I know, but it still doesn't sit easy with me.
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Old 04-05-2013, 06:23 PM
 
35,108 posts, read 40,238,434 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fofina View Post
So going by your logic, because I'd heard of the stuff about any kind of website, but I'd never read it before, and I just happened to click to see what it was exactly about, that would be snooping? I should wait until I go home or go to the library when it's just one click away? So basically by your logic, every single website that is cached and saved on another person's history is a no go? And regarding the sperm donor . . . that was your choice, fair enough, you're entitled to it. Just as I am to mine.

See, you can understand if you try hard enough. My husband does not even go to the history on my computer and I don't go on his either and yes we do use each other's computers. I have used my Mother's computer before and never felt the need to look in the history on it or my Brother's or my best friend's or her husband's. You were SNOOPING, it is that simple.
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Old 04-05-2013, 07:16 PM
 
Location: Tucson, AZ
1,561 posts, read 1,986,723 times
Reputation: 3920
I wouldn't push the issue or confront him about it. That will only make it worse.

OP's quote

"but I sure as hell would like to know why a family member I love has seemingly become something I don't recognize. It definitely is limited to the internet as far as I know, but it still doesn't sit easy with me."

oh, jeez, way too over-dramatic.

plus, I doubt he BECAME a racist. Your just NOW AWARE that he is.

I bet if you took a poll of what 40 and 50 somethings year olds of every race told you the truth of what they really think of the other races you would be appalled. People of all races know not to act on racism or discriminatory practices in a public fashion, it makes them look bad. That's why he acts friendly in person to the races he was just calling horrible things on the internet forum. The covert racisim has always been there in your father, it's probably also in your boyfriends fathers or mothers. This is no different than someone who has gay friends but votes down gay marriage legalization proposals like Prop 8.
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Old 04-05-2013, 07:19 PM
 
458 posts, read 511,449 times
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Ok, had you not snooped, you wouldn't know what you know and therefore would not be dealing with the feelings you are......tsk, tsk!!

But I'd be livid, depending on the nature of the relationship (which would also dictate my bringing it up or not---and I'd have to not care at all or had suspected something all along for me to forseeably ignore what I read).

He may like that sense of comradery, however twisted, and a feeling of community/superiority because of being insecure and possibly threatened and fearful (in whatever capacity) of people of other races.

The computer screen is the face of many cowards. People who find sick empowerment in indulging in their dark side under the "safety" of anonymity. I personally believe that everything that is hidden will one day be exposed, which is apparently the slight case with your father. Whether the other things I typed applies to him, of course I can't say, just my own theories
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Old 04-05-2013, 08:33 PM
 
1,288 posts, read 2,406,706 times
Reputation: 766
I think Stormfront is just a nationalist forum, not to confused with a racist forum.
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Old 04-05-2013, 10:19 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
11,164 posts, read 20,470,249 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Timing2012 View Post
I think Stormfront is just a nationalist forum, not to confused with a racist forum.
yes, a nationalist forum, founded by a man who was a Grand Wizard for the Klu Klux Klan and a member of the American Nazi Party.

No racism there, folks, nothing to worry about
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