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Old 04-05-2013, 10:21 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
11,164 posts, read 20,476,226 times
Reputation: 26443

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Your dad was probably always a racist. He hid it from you to give you a chance to grow up without forming the same prejudices.

My parents are racist, but they hide it. My father has dementia and he has trouble hiding the things that he used to keep hidden. My MIL is racist. I'm not sure most older people can help it.
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Old 04-06-2013, 07:18 AM
 
810 posts, read 1,230,603 times
Reputation: 955
Are you guys left-wing weirdos? To left-wing weirdos anyone who isn't a left-wing weirdo is a "Racist".

If you look at American black culture, there's plenty to criticize. But left-wing weirdos have assigned American black culture to a godlike protected status, immune from any kind of observation at all. This is not only dishonest but destructive to American black people.
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Old 04-06-2013, 07:36 AM
 
Location: West Coast of Europe
21,399 posts, read 19,315,114 times
Reputation: 8493
Funny how some people here attack Fofina, accusing her of snooping and destroying her father's trust in her.
Hello? He is the one doing things he shouldn't. Bad enough he is a racist, but being stupid enough to go on such sites and write such things without deleting the history or password-protecting his computer?! It's like being a pedophile and participating on child pornography sites without hiding it.

I can understand Fofina well. Her father must seem like Jekyll and Hyde to her now. Fofina is the one whose trust in her father has been severely damaged. He must have lost all credibility in her eyes. He sure would have in mine. I mean, we are not talking about a parent's bad taste of music here, but serious personality traits.

When Fofina says she has dated guys of other ethnicity/race already, she obviously is not a racist, quite to the contrary. Now she knows what her father really thinks of her boyfriends, and that he is lying when he is polite to them.

And I do think a clarifying conversation about that would help. Even if it leads to a break in the relationship, it probably already has anyway as far as Fofina is concerned. Maybe there is a subtle way to bring this topic up, without mentioning the websites...

What's the father's job? Maybe he works as an undercover investigator for the government, infiltrating the racist scene
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Old 04-06-2013, 07:43 AM
 
Location: Arvada, CO
13,238 posts, read 24,428,775 times
Reputation: 13010
Do what feels comfortable OP (or don't do).

You'll never look at your father the same way after this. I have no problem with you "snooping", because after all, he risked that when he handed you the laptop. Don't give people the keys to your ride if you aren't willing to let them drive it.....

I don't know, I've grown up in (and am raising my own kids in) what I thought was an open family. My father is Hispanic, and had no qualms about making rude comments about black people (thankfully, I only had to deal with this until I was 7), and my mother (White), had unfounded worries about blacks and Hispanics, even though she had dated a black man (her parents FREAKED over this), and married two Hispanics. I like to consider myself color-blind: I hate everybody equally.

I hand my laptop over to my wife (and would to my kids) without a second thought. I have nothing to hide, even if they find out I'm a XXXX on the internet/my own personal computer. "Trust me, I can explain."

Nobody should be ashamed of who they truly are, they just have to be prepared for the repercussions that being oneself brings.
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Moderator for Los Angeles, The Inland Empire, and the Washington state forums.

Last edited by Count David; 04-06-2013 at 07:56 AM..
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Old 04-06-2013, 07:53 AM
 
3,752 posts, read 7,486,978 times
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It could be that he is racist, but can make individual distinctions - you know those people who generally categorize, but then say well _____ is different.
Here is the upside - you are clearly well raised and he and your mother have done a great job of shielding you from his views - and for this you should give them credit. Perhaps it is a struggle even he deals with - but clearly he has hid it well and knows it is not generally acceptable.
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Old 04-06-2013, 08:05 AM
 
Location: West Coast of Europe
21,399 posts, read 19,315,114 times
Reputation: 8493
I think it would be more excusable if he just had those attitudes, but kept them to himself. But going on Stormfront and actively participating in the spread of those attitudes? That is like a cowardly thought crime, he must have a lot of hidden hate inside of him.
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Old 04-06-2013, 09:29 AM
 
1,266 posts, read 1,525,188 times
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I was raised primarily by my Mom who, thankfully, was tolerant and accepting of everyone. I always sort of thought the same about my Dad too---up until I started dating. My Mom had no problem whatsoever with me dating outside my race and after my parents divorced, she also dated outside her race. However, my Dad---who I never witnessed any display of outward racism growing up---did have a problem when I began dating outside my race. It shocked me! His side of the family tends to be quite racist and this only occurred to me as I got older (again, around 16-17 years old when I began dating). So, Fofina---you have a viable reason for being concerned with how your Dad will react to the new beau. And about the accusations of snooping--I get what you did. Not sure I agree with digging in deeper beyond the reason you used his computer--but I don't condemn you for it. It's human nature to be curious. Sort of like not turning away when you see a bad car accident. Few people can look ahead and not gawk.

In any case, I am sorry you are learning things about your Dad that do not sit well with you. But I agree with the others who said that no good will come of bringing up what you found on his computer. As much as I do not condone racism and bigotry, I have also learned it's impossible to convince racists to view their world differently. They have to figure that out on their own (if they ever do). We are all flawed and we all have a dark side. I am sure if you dig far enough into your own private thoughts and desires, you will find the darkness and flaws in yourself, too. In a twisted sort of way, it's good that he hid his feelings about race from you. At least he had the moral fortitude to raise you without imposing his world view. Few parents can do this. This tells me he is a decent Dad (and, if I may add, the only one you'll ever have).

Last edited by TotallyTam; 04-06-2013 at 09:39 AM..
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Old 04-06-2013, 06:04 PM
 
2,575 posts, read 4,691,430 times
Reputation: 6378
One of my favorite relatives as born in 1906 and never quite got the hint that racism wasn't really legitimate or acceptable before she died in 2001. However, she adapted her idea of race to suit her when it was expedient. For example, she lived in small city in a very undereducated, conservative state. She lived in an upscale neighborhood in that city and was upset that a Filipino couple moved into the house behind her until she found out they were both doctors are the hospital, and then they were ok. However, years later their daughter married a major league baseball player who was black, and that upset my aunt because the daughter's family was "white like us." She also made comments along the lines of "Dogs and cats are smarter than people because they don't interbreed," until I pointed out that black and white people are the same species, whereas dogs and cats aren't.

Although her beliefs were totally opposed to everything I think, she was so sweet in so many other ways that I learned to overlook them or be only mildly responsive to them. She also bought groceries for years for an older black woman she knew who was on a very limited pension income, so she seemed to be able to view blacks as individuals - again, when it suited her.

I wanted to chalk it up to her generation and age, but unfortunately I never could, because there were people in the 1700s and 1800s who fought against slavery and knew blacks deserved more than 3/5 of a vote. No one is perfect, and unfortunately, that was her big flaw. But I managed to overlook it because to do otherwise would have alienated me from someone who truly loved me, and vice versa.
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Old 04-06-2013, 06:49 PM
 
1,093 posts, read 629,142 times
Reputation: 1970
It's always strange what you find your dad checking out. When I raided my dad's computer, I found stuff that well, you could say would be the 'opposite' of S*********. I had no idea he was into that. Oh well. Quite convenient that it never came up in dinner parties - I dare say anyone would be able to keep their food down.

On another note, these 'racist' sites often have a flipside to them and its not all bad. This is the internet and you shouldn't believe everything you read - not everyone on those sites is there necessarily to hate, even if they say so.

Last edited by dumb; 04-06-2013 at 06:51 PM.. Reason: profanity
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Old 04-07-2013, 06:58 AM
 
Location: San Angelo, Texas
795 posts, read 1,326,629 times
Reputation: 764
Quote:
Originally Posted by Timing2012 View Post
I think Stormfront is just a nationalist forum, not to confused with a racist forum.
So which Stormfront member are you? lol
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