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Old 04-05-2013, 02:58 PM
 
18 posts, read 27,236 times
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I should probably replace the "think" with "know." I've just moved out of my parents' place and got my own apartment. At the weekend I was getting the last of my stuff. I needed to check something online and I used my dad's laptop. On the Mozilla search engine, the typing of the word "S" brought up the site "Stormfront." The browser's history remembered it. I vaguely remembered a friend telling me about the racists on that site. I clicked on it and was led to a thread that denigrated Blacks and Latinos so disgustingly I couldn't read anymore. The worst part for me, however, wasn't the racist content - it was the fact that the username of one of the posters is a well used moniker my dad has made his own. At first I couldn't believe it, but looking through the history of the browser and finding other links (and many threads) to two more racist sites (and finding that the same moniker was used on those two sites) I've come to the conclusion that my father really is a racist.

I really don't understand it all. He's never displayed any bigoted thoughts before. I grew up in an overwhelmingly white suburb so it wasn't like his "coming out" would antagonize any of the neighbors. One of the things that baffles me, too, is that he routinely watches the NBA and the NFL, both sporting leagues that are majority black. And he also listens to music from a few black soul artists from the 60s and 70s. One of my mother's closest work colleagues is black and there's never been any indication that he dislikes her. It just doesn't make sense. I don't know, perhaps I'm naive - I don't really know about the inner workings of the mind of a racist, but for me he really doesn't fit the category. Any advice on the situation would be appreciated. Or are there people with a similar story?

Last edited by Fofina; 04-05-2013 at 03:04 PM.. Reason: Grammar Nazism
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Old 04-05-2013, 03:04 PM
 
Location: Las Flores, Orange County, CA
26,346 posts, read 83,000,765 times
Reputation: 17516
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fofina View Post
The worst part for me, however, wasn't the racist content - it was the fact that the username of one of the posters is a well used moniker my dad has made his own. At first I couldn't believe it, but looking through the history of the browser and finding other links (and many threads) to two more racist sites (and finding that the same moniker was used on those two sites) I've come to the conclusion that my father really is a racist.
Any advice on the situation would be appreciated. Or are there people with a similar story?
Doesn't sound good. What should you do? What do you gain by doing anything? Might not be worth it. You probably won't change him. It might humiliate him and create or expand existing gaps between you.
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Old 04-05-2013, 03:14 PM
 
12,886 posts, read 15,432,494 times
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Did you read any of your fathers posts???so you know for sure???
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Old 04-05-2013, 03:26 PM
 
18 posts, read 27,236 times
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Originally Posted by Charles View Post
Doesn't sound good. What should you do? What do you gain by doing anything? Might not be worth it. You probably won't change him. It might humiliate him and create or expand existing gaps between you.
You know I agree about it perhaps not being worth pursuing. My father and I have never been super close, but we've always gotten along relatively well. However I've been on several dates with a half black and half Asian man and he's really grown on me. It's nothing serious at the moment, but if things were to move forward between us, my father's outlook would become more significant.
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Old 04-05-2013, 03:29 PM
 
18 posts, read 27,236 times
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Originally Posted by purehuman View Post
Did you read any of your fathers posts???so you know for sure???
Yes I read the posts. Unfortunately, by the sound of his posts, he fits right in with the bigots on those websites.
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Old 04-05-2013, 04:02 PM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
56,082 posts, read 54,565,498 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fofina View Post
Yes I read the posts. Unfortunately, by the sound of his posts, he fits right in with the bigots on those websites.
That's pretty tough, but you just have to remember that you can't change other people. You can, however, decide not to be like them even if you love them.

My mother's father was a bigot. He even hated Italians and believed they all had sex with their daughters. What that did for my mother was make her want to be the opposite. I'm glad she was, because she raised us to take people as individuals, and my father, who was your typical engineer type, just saw that racism wasn't logical, so that certainly helped.
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Old 04-05-2013, 04:14 PM
 
Location: Buenos Aires, Argentina
5,899 posts, read 8,415,835 times
Reputation: 4366
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fofina View Post
I should probably replace the "think" with "know." I've just moved out of my parents' place and got my own apartment. At the weekend I was getting the last of my stuff. I needed to check something online and I used my dad's laptop. On the Mozilla search engine, the typing of the word "S" brought up the site "Stormfront." The browser's history remembered it. I vaguely remembered a friend telling me about the racists on that site. I clicked on it and was led to a thread that denigrated Blacks and Latinos so disgustingly I couldn't read anymore. The worst part for me, however, wasn't the racist content - it was the fact that the username of one of the posters is a well used moniker my dad has made his own. At first I couldn't believe it, but looking through the history of the browser and finding other links (and many threads) to two more racist sites (and finding that the same moniker was used on those two sites) I've come to the conclusion that my father really is a racist.

I really don't understand it all. He's never displayed any bigoted thoughts before. I grew up in an overwhelmingly white suburb so it wasn't like his "coming out" would antagonize any of the neighbors. One of the things that baffles me, too, is that he routinely watches the NBA and the NFL, both sporting leagues that are majority black. And he also listens to music from a few black soul artists from the 60s and 70s. One of my mother's closest work colleagues is black and there's never been any indication that he dislikes her. It just doesn't make sense. I don't know, perhaps I'm naive - I don't really know about the inner workings of the mind of a racist, but for me he really doesn't fit the category. Any advice on the situation would be appreciated. Or are there people with a similar story?


Maybe he is not a racist and just enter those sites out of curiosity to see what those sites say, you know like watching a train wreck/you just cant look away sort of thing.
If he didnt express racist thoughts before, most lilkely he isnt. Unless he is a "secretive racist" and pretends not to be in front of his family, but that sounds too twisty.
Most likely he is not a racist and was on those sites out of curiosity.
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Old 04-05-2013, 04:18 PM
 
18 posts, read 27,236 times
Reputation: 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
That's pretty tough, but you just have to remember that you can't change other people. You can, however, decide not to be like them even if you love them.

My mother's father was a bigot. He even hated Italians and believed they all had sex with their daughters. What that did for my mother was make her want to be the opposite. I'm glad she was, because she raised us to take people as individuals, and my father, who was your typical engineer type, just saw that racism wasn't logical, so that certainly helped.

One of the greatest things that annoys me about bigots is how they stereotype and generalize everyone belonging to a specific group (like your mother's father regarding Italians). It's as if these people are akin to computers being produced in a Microsoft factory - it's impossible that they have a variety of rich personalities and goals. Really peeves me off.
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Old 04-05-2013, 04:20 PM
 
18 posts, read 27,236 times
Reputation: 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by SophieLL View Post
Maybe he is not a racist and just enter those sites out of curiosity to see what those sites say, you know like watching a train wreck/you just cant look away sort of thing.
If he didnt express racist thoughts before, most lilkely he isnt. Unless he is a "secretive racist" and pretends not to be in front of his family, but that sounds too twisty.
Most likely he is not a racist and was on those sites out of curiosity.
I would really like to believe that your post is true concerning the situation, but there's overwhelming evidence that it isn't. A curious person would not post the stuff that his moniker did. I can't even bring myself to even quote or paraphrase some of the things, I'm so disgusted.

It's possible that he wasn't racist in the past but now he is.
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Old 04-05-2013, 04:25 PM
 
Location: Buenos Aires, Argentina
5,899 posts, read 8,415,835 times
Reputation: 4366
thats so sad
can a person start being racist all of a sudden, though? what can have possibly "trigered" it in him?

maybe you could bring out a topic at dinner and see how he reacts to it and confirm it? or talk to your mom and ask?
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