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Old 04-08-2013, 10:02 AM
 
Location: A tropical island
4,541 posts, read 4,405,708 times
Reputation: 11162

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Quote:
Originally Posted by NCN View Post
I am sure you have heard this before from me if you read posts around here much. The root meaning for the word "guy" is "a person of grotesque appearance." It's an ugly word and I certainly don't like to be called a "guy" in any way, shape or form. I find it demeaning and rude. But I have given up on trying to get anyone to understand that.

I avoid people that use this word and consider them to be of a lower class. I have decided just to look over them; but they won't be invited to my home for dinner. LOL

The time I hate to hear it the most is when we are eating out and I realize I am going to leave money to that person who has called me "grotesque" multiple times. It almost makes me want to turn around and say to the wait staff, "You GUYS have a nice day." I doubt they would even know they had just been insulted by me.

I don't like for my husband to be called a "guy" either. He is a gentleman and not a grotesque person either. I consider the word "guy" to be a curse word. When the meaning of the word is derogatory, it is impossible to use the word and not be derogatory.
My, my. Smug much? Do you make it a habit to interpret every word you hear by the oldest, most obscure, largely unknown, outdated definition you can possibly come up with? That must be exhausting.
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Old 04-08-2013, 10:05 AM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,004,073 times
Reputation: 22370
Quote:
Originally Posted by Idlewile View Post
Really? People, your friends, spend a lot time talking about the use if "guys"? That seems, well, bizzare.

There is a forum for this subject matter and it is not this one. There appears to be an underlying issue here that is passive-aggressively coming through your post here.

I've lived in more than one area of the country, in CT, Northern CA, Southern CA, OH, GEORGIA for cryin' out loud, CO and TX, and have NEVER heard any issue surrounding the use of "guys."
Of course no one addressed you about calling them "guys." That doesn't mean that internally they weren't thinking - too bad Ildewile doesn't realize how impolite that sounds. . .

Folks are fully aware that "guys" is the accepted vernacular in many parts of the country. Why would someone accost you about it? Doesn't mean that the people who find it impolite aren't going to say to others - "It makes my skin crawl when Idlewile calls me, a female, a 'guy.' "

Seeing as how I have known plenty of people to make fun of Southerners' dialect, accents, etc. - I wonder why you would find Southerners mentioning something about your choice of words in addressing them as "bizarre." ???
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Old 04-08-2013, 10:10 AM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,004,073 times
Reputation: 22370
Quote:
Originally Posted by kayanne View Post
My, my. Smug much? Do you make it a habit to interpret every word you hear by the oldest, most obscure, largely unknown, outdated definition you can possibly come up with? That must be exhausting.
Smug? Exhausting?

Why is it important to you to be condescending to someone you disagree with? NCN took the time to explain what the word means to her and why she finds it impolite to address people as "guys." Just b/c you disagree, that makes her SMUG?
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Old 04-08-2013, 10:15 AM
 
Location: A tropical island
4,541 posts, read 4,405,708 times
Reputation: 11162
Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post
I explained earlier that I had lived in the midwest where the greeting is used commonly, daily, and is simply a plural. No one thinks a thing of it, so I adapted even though I, personally, think it is a less than desirable way to address a group of people, especially women. I understood that it is not intended as an insult so I do not take it that way, even tho I think it is rather impolite to refer to females as males ("guy" "dude").

My children and their friends do not address folks as "you guys." We say "you all" b/c it is, to us, polite and inclusive.

Although my friends, my kids, their friends won't be insulted if you address us with "you guys," we will, however, quickly figure out that you are not Southern, even if you have lived in the South for some time. And we will wonder why your mother didn't teach you a more warm, inclusive way of addressing other people, than using a male term ("guy").

Likewise, I am fully aware that there are things that Southerners accept/do/think that seem odd or foreign to folks outside the region.

My objection is that Southerners are expected to be "tolerant" and "respectful" to other people's traditions and cultures, but the accepted mentality across this country is that no one needs to be respectful, tolerant or even curious enough to find out about Southerners. It should be a two way street.

OP asked if "you guys" is acceptable. Tolerating it and choosing not to be insulted by it does not mean it is accepted by "everyone" and it does not mean it is considered polite. Just b/c some people find that odd doesn't mean their opinions and feelings don't count.
Anifani, you explained it far better than NCN did. Your highlighted quotes above show that you are reasonable in understanding geographical differences in culture. NCN, on the other hand, flat out said that anyone who uses the word "guys" is "low class" and would not be invited into her home. She is intentionally degrading others; people who are completely unaware of the definition of "guys" that NCN uses are not intentionally degrading anyone.
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Old 04-08-2013, 10:15 AM
 
Location: North Shore Long Island
7,752 posts, read 14,371,878 times
Reputation: 10630
Quote:
Originally Posted by NCN View Post
I am sure you have heard this before from me if you read posts around here much. The root meaning for the word "guy" is "a person of grotesque appearance." It's an ugly word and I certainly don't like to be called a "guy" in any way, shape or form. I find it demeaning and rude. But I have given up on trying to get anyone to understand that.

I avoid people that use this word and consider them to be of a lower class. I have decided just to look over them; but they won't be invited to my home for dinner. LOL

The time I hate to hear it the most is when we are eating out and I realize I am going to leave money to that person who has called me "grotesque" multiple times. It almost makes me want to turn around and say to the wait staff, "You GUYS have a nice day." I doubt they would even know they had just been insulted by me.

I don't like for my husband to be called a "guy" either. He is a gentleman and not a grotesque person either. I consider the word "guy" to be a curse word. When the meaning of the word is derogatory, it is impossible to use the word and not be derogatory.
Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post
Smug? Exhausting?

Why is it important to you to be condescending to someone you disagree with? NCN took the time to explain what the word means to her and why she finds it impolite to address people as "guys." Just b/c you disagree, that makes her SMUG?
The bolded statement is smug, especially if one knows the intent is not to be insulting and the term is presently used in every day vernacular.

Again, I ask you, please find me some online sites that discuss where Southerners currently find the term "guys" insulting for the reasons you two have stated (the history of Guy Fawkes)...beyond just stating "my family and friends."

I'd like to see how commonplace this is.
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Old 04-08-2013, 10:16 AM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,004,073 times
Reputation: 22370
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bette View Post
I have used this. I have children in their 20's and for example, if a few were sitting in our family room - I could say "how are you guys doing tonight?"

Wow, never realized; never thought about it really.

I'm also guilty of when describing a situation - using "she goes" instead of "she said" - my dad used to always say "she goes where?"

Just something I picked up.

Guess I'll be saying "y'all" from now on.
If the word is not impolite to you, then it isn't, and it shouldn't mean you have to change a thing, lol.

The OP asked if anyone objects to being referred to as a guy. If you and your family don't, then it isn't a problem at your house. My husband is a midwesterner and he finds "you all" as awkward as I find "you guys."

The discussion on this thread has somehow turned into accusatory statements of people being bizarre, elderly or out of touch with the real world if they find the term impolite.

If you don't find it impolite and no one in your circle of friends and family impolite, then seems to me you should just carry on with what is comfortable for you.
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Old 04-08-2013, 10:17 AM
 
Location: A tropical island
4,541 posts, read 4,405,708 times
Reputation: 11162
Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post
Smug? Exhausting?

Why is it important to you to be condescending to someone you disagree with? NCN took the time to explain what the word means to her and why she finds it impolite to address people as "guys." Just b/c you disagree, that makes her SMUG?
See my post #54.
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Old 04-08-2013, 10:20 AM
 
Location: North Shore Long Island
7,752 posts, read 14,371,878 times
Reputation: 10630
Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post
If the word is not impolite to you, then it isn't, and it shouldn't mean you have to change a thing, lol.

The OP asked if anyone objects to being referred to as a guy. If you and your family don't, then it isn't a problem at your house. My husband is a midwesterner and he finds "you all" as awkward as I find "you guys."

The discussion on this thread has somehow turned into accusatory statements of people being bizarre, elderly or out of touch with the real world if they find the term impolite.

If you don't find it impolite and no one in your circle of friends and family impolite, then seems to me you should just carry on with what is comfortable for you.
And the accusations if we found the term not to be impolite?
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Old 04-08-2013, 10:24 AM
 
Location: Greater NYC
2,904 posts, read 4,903,196 times
Reputation: 3863
Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post
I wonder why you would find Southerners mentioning something about your choice of words in addressing them as "bizarre." ???
I think it's bizarre that you and your friends apparently spend a lot of time talking about it. I don't give a rat's a** if you're southern or not.

YOU are the one bringing up the fact that you are southern. Repeatedly.
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Old 04-08-2013, 10:28 AM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,004,073 times
Reputation: 22370
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheImportersWife View Post
The bolded statement is smug, especially if one knows the intent is not to be insulting and the term is presently used in every day vernacular.

Again, I ask you, please find me some online sites that discuss where Southerners currently find the term "guys" insulting for the reasons you two have stated (the history of Guy Fawkes)...beyond just stating "my family and friends."

I'd like to see how commonplace this is.
If you want to make this into your personal research project, knock yourself out. If you don't believe what you were told, what do I care? I have to justify to you that a whole population of people consider the term "guys" impolite? If you don't believe it, so what?

I didn't have to be told but once that slang terms for Italians, Irish, mexicans, etc are insulting. I have friends from New Jersey who told me they are insulted when certain terms are used to describe them, so I made sure I never used those terms, even jokingly.

I just made a mental note and moved on.
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