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Old 04-13-2013, 12:20 PM
 
2 posts, read 2,056 times
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I really care about what people always think of me and it's affecting my life. Do you guys have any tips or advice to just not care about what people say or think. I'm always worried that people are gossiping about me or saying means things.
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Old 04-13-2013, 12:21 PM
 
Location: Las Flores, Orange County, CA
26,338 posts, read 93,407,924 times
Reputation: 17827
First, analyze to see if what they are saying is true. (Is it possible you really are a jerk or unkind?)

Is it possible you are simply paranoid?
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Old 04-13-2013, 06:15 PM
 
12,585 posts, read 16,870,786 times
Reputation: 15253
Quote:
Originally Posted by CarelessWhispers View Post
I really care about what people always think of me and it's affecting my life. Do you guys have any tips or advice to just not care about what people say or think. I'm always worried that people are gossiping about me or saying means things.
Usually if a person is worried it is because they do things to others and are always thinking what they say is going to come back at them.

My advice, don't gossip about others and treat people kind and you should have nothing to worry about.
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Old 04-13-2013, 06:23 PM
 
Location: San Marcos, TX
2,570 posts, read 7,709,488 times
Reputation: 4059
Some people were just raised that way.

My mother puts a HUGE emphasis on "what will people think???" and I was raised with this attitude. I had to actively work to overcome it when I was grown. She is still this way and I think it is kind of sad but I also think she is a product of her generation.

What became my new way of thinking? "Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." --Bernard Baruch

As long as you are treating others the way you like to be treated, that's what counts. Follow the golden rule and don't associate with people who don't accept who for you are. I don't know how old you are but I have found it gets easier as you get older.
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Old 04-13-2013, 09:46 PM
 
475 posts, read 895,673 times
Reputation: 274
Quote:
Originally Posted by CarelessWhispers View Post
I really care about what people always think of me and it's affecting my life. Do you guys have any tips or advice to just not care about what people say or think. I'm always worried that people are gossiping about me or saying means things.
Sally is right, it gets easier with age. While I have much advice of my own I think it would be better to recommend reading ,audio ,and video sources instead. When I was 19 my dad took the family to see a speaker named Wayne Dyer, that was the late 70's so much of his work should be available at reasonable prices. He is much different now but his early work specifically' Pulling Your Own Strings' had a lasting affect on my life. Here is a quote ' [SIZE=2][SIZE=2]
Victims are first of all people who run their lives according to the dictates of others. They find themselves doing things they really would rather not do, or being manipulated into activities loaded with unnecessary personal sacrifice that breeds hidden resentment. To be victimized, as I use the word here, means to be governed and checked by forces outside yourself; and while these forces are unquestionably ubiquitous in our culture, YOU CAN RARELY BE VICTIMIZED UNLESS YOU ALLOW IT TO HAPPEN. Yes, people victimize themselves in numerous ways, throughout the everyday business of running their lives. ' There are quotes that might be more applicable to your situation . Check it out.
His books are very personable and easy to read. He also made video and audio products. It's good that you reconize a problem and are reaching out. Best of luck to you.

Last edited by keithhtt; 04-13-2013 at 10:01 PM.. Reason: technical error.
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Old 04-14-2013, 12:03 PM
 
3,276 posts, read 7,817,158 times
Reputation: 8308
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sally_Sparrow View Post
Some people were just raised that way.

My mother puts a HUGE emphasis on "what will people think???" and I was raised with this attitude. I had to actively work to overcome it when I was grown. She is still this way and I think it is kind of sad but I also think she is a product of her generation.

What became my new way of thinking? "Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." --Bernard Baruch

As long as you are treating others the way you like to be treated, that's what counts. Follow the golden rule and don't associate with people who don't accept who for you are. I don't know how old you are but I have found it gets easier as you get older.
Another quote I've heard is "Associate with people who celebrate you and not those who merely tolerate you." That's a good one.
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Old 04-14-2013, 12:08 PM
 
Location: Texas
44,257 posts, read 64,046,055 times
Reputation: 73913
Sorry I can't rep you again, Sally.

Op, ask yourself why these people are soooooo important that you care soooo much what they think.

Are they super awesome and accomplished and their poop don't stink?

Doubtful.

I do not believe in allowing other people to have power over my happiness.
This is MY one shot at life on this planet. Not wasting a moment on negative crap.
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Old 04-14-2013, 02:02 PM
 
Location: Back at home in western Washington!
1,490 posts, read 4,735,443 times
Reputation: 3244
I agree with the posters who said that age will make a difference. I can't count the number of hours I have wasted throughout my life worrying about what other folks thought of me or wishing I could go back and change events. It will get better as you get older (mostly because you will start to realize that what others think won't really change your life or actions), but I believe it's just how some people are hard-wired and you will likely always have that twinge after a conversation that makes you wonder what they think of you or how you came across.
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Old 04-14-2013, 03:48 PM
 
Location: Vik
401 posts, read 530,074 times
Reputation: 448
First you got to ask, what can people that supposedly don't like you, do to you? Will they beat you up? Probably not. Anyway, in 100 years everything will be forgotten, unless you start a world war like Adolf Hitler.

Don't let what others think of yourself govern your life. Take charge. If you are uncertain, other can sense this...we are like animals in that respect. If you lower yourself, other will pick on you.

You can be nice, but be firm. Doesn't matter if they think you are weird or stupid. Take it as a compliment that they have an opinion of you at all.

99% of life is BS anyway...
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Old 04-14-2013, 04:10 PM
 
1,277 posts, read 1,921,314 times
Reputation: 3443
You cannot control what others think about you. Just as others cannot control what you think of them. Also, you are not the center of others' attention as they are not the center of yours. Remember, we live in society that bombards us with how we should be, what to like, what to think. Try not to be so influenced by external pressures to be someone the culture is telling you to be. As harsh as it sounds, you have to be selfish---but in a good way. Love yourself first---give yourself permission to be unapologetically YOU!!!
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