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It sounds like a lot of emotional basket cases who can relate to the nutty MIL responding here. The mother-in-law was being unreasonable. Why couldn't she wait a few minutes for a call back? And why is it the husband's fault if his wife says she won't take the call?
Losing a pet is tough but that doesn't mean the rest of the world should come to standstill or even care.
I learned a long time ago that the best way to deal with neurotic, demanding people is not to coddle them. It just encourages more of the same.
Secretely I think you love that you got her to curse at you..
if you really wanted to stay out of it or be supportive , you could have
1)put her on speaker phone and let your wife
tell her she could not talk..
2) asked her what was going on when she said it was an emergency
3)sympathized and been nice about her crisis
4) taken over in the kitchen..
Oh so many choices, but you did not even ask what the emergency was & told her
"I said she would call back, but can't take the call"
It sounds like a lot of emotional basket cases who can relate to the nutty MIL responding here. The mother-in-law was being unreasonable. Why couldn't she wait a few minutes for a call back? And why is it the husband's fault if his wife says she won't take the call?
Losing a pet is tough but that doesn't mean the rest of the world should come to standstill or even care.
I learned a long time ago that the best way to deal with neurotic, demanding people is not to coddle them. It just encourages more of the same.
YES!! What on earth did we do before we had cell phones? We left a message when someone didn't answer. OK, so the husband answers the phone...are we so hell bent that we have to acquiesce to every demand because someone called us?
All of you are assuming that poor, poor MIL is a saint and her emergency was worthy of disrupting her daughter's life. Her daughter didn't think so...but you all do. The MIL didn't even give all the details until she realized her daughter wouldn't speak with her at that moment.
It's true though...if you deal with a crazy, neurotic person and cater to their demands, you encourage them to continue to take advantage of you. We don't know the extent of MIL's crazies, but to assume she's normal, doesn't exactly sit right.
He didn't find out about the pet until after the call was over, presumably when the wife called her mom back.
This is what he said happened.
1. Wife is cooking dinner
2. Mom calls, he answers
3. Mom asks to speak to wife in normal, non-panicky voice
4. He goes to give phone to wife, she says she's in the middle of key part of dinner and she'll call mom back
5. OP relays message to mom
6. Mom says its an emergency
7. He tells mom okay, wife will call back in a minute or two
8. Mom curses him out
9. He hangs up
10. Later he finds out pet is about to be put down
Given the woman's history of calling for "emergencies" that are not emergencies, I get why he didn't think this time was an actual emergency. Not only that, but she started out the phone call sounding normal, something that would seemingly not happen if it was a true emergency. He thought she was having her usual anxiety attack and that it could wait ONE OR TWO MINUTES. It's not like the wife needed a half hour. We are talking a few minutes here.
I don't think there is any need to treat this guy like he's THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD. **shrugs**
Yes, of course, that is exactly what my post said, "THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD." Overreact much?
Do you have caller ID...if so just don't answer the phone.
Where I see the difficulty, is that you are probably being perceived as the gatekeeper to your wife. Either that is a position you want to be in, or your wife puts you in, but her mom really doesn't see what is going on. From the POV of the mom, I can see how there would be misunderstandings.
My husband would take over the cooking process and insist I talk to my mom.
Surely there can't be that many times when the MIL calls right at a critical cooking moment.
Do you have caller ID...if so just don't answer the phone.
Where I see the difficulty, is that you are probably being perceived as the gatekeeper to your wife. Either that is a position you want to be in, or your wife puts you in, but her mom really doesn't see what is going on. From the POV of the mom, I can see how there would be misunderstandings.
My husband would take over the cooking process and insist I talk to my mom.
Surely there can't be that many times when the MIL calls right at a critical cooking moment.
You're probably right, Larkspur. Mom probably doesn't realize that's what's going on. LOL Oh, and for the record, in that instance.....yeah, hubby would definitley take over in the kitchen and MAKE me take the phone. I'd probably be mad at him, but then...I'd understand his position too. If my mother said it was an EMERGENCY, and I didn't take the phone from him, he'd be upset with me for putting him in that position. Of course, MY mother doesn't call often and most likely....if she said it was an emergency and needed to talk to me...it would most likely be pretty serious.
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