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It's true.... no one who knows her will visit her in her apartment. They will only meet her outside somewhere or in the lobby of her building. Even one of her relatives who visits Manhattan every year at Christmastime won't go to her apartment. The family stays in a hotel and will meet her at a restaurant or something.
She listens to no one and honestly thinks nothing is wrong. She doesn't "get" why her neighbors can't stand her and give her dirty looks or say things to her. The building she lives in is a luxury mid-rise building with apartments going for $1-$3 million dollars. Could you imagine paying that kind of money for an apartment and having her as a neighbor? At one point, the stench was so bad that you could smell it when you came off the elevators. That's when someone called the health dept on her. She owns her apartment so it's not a matter of eviction.
I remember one time, a friend of hers passed away and that person's apartment was just full of clutter. (not nearly as bad as hers, but it was cluttered up) I offered to go with her to help clean it out because the person had no relatives in NY. What should have taken a weekend took WEEKS. I would pack things for donation (nothing of value); she would insist on looking at every last thing. There were papers (nothing important); she would insist on looking at every scrap. We found a bunch of OLD businesscards and she insisted on keeping them "just in case". If we walked out of there with a supermarket bag of garbage in a day, it was a lot. And she thought she made progress because she had a bag of garbage.
One time, I spent the night at the apartment. When she went home to her place, I got to work and threw out TONS of garbage, boxed up a ton of donations, etc. I stayed up all night doing this and got rid of so much stuff. Well, she came the next morning and freaked! She looked like she was going to have a breakdown. And this wasn't even her stuff, had nothing to do with her, was of no use to her. Could you imagine someone trying to take HER stuff??
I was also thinking of calling senior services or social services. The thing is, by age she is a "senior". But in reality, if you looked at her, you would think she's in her 40s. She's very young for her age. I think I have to make some calls, though. She is not only putting herself in danger but also the other people in her building as well as her pets.
I wish hoarders would not keep pets. In the Hoarders tv show, watching a pet have to walk on tons of trash and eat out of bowls that are filled with roaches and mice droppings is heartbreaking. The hoarder has a choice to live like this; the pet does not.
Just call the health department. Forget about senior services. If there are feces and urine on the floor festering . . . god only knows what bacteria is in that place. It is a health hazard. If you can't get any help from them, call the Fire Marshall for her district and explain the situation and see if they can do something about it.
Location: Democratic Peoples Republic of Redneckistan
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aquietpath
Hoarding is a mental illness. She needs help. I would call Adult Protective Services and report the condition she is living in. They'll take it from there.
I agree...OCD and other mental disabilities can manifest themselves in this way and the person could need help,not more problems
I wish hoarders would not keep pets. In the Hoarders tv show, watching a pet have to walk on tons of trash and eat out of bowls that are filled with roaches and mice droppings is heartbreaking. The hoarder has a choice to live like this; the pet does not.
I agree!!!! I think it's so cruel to keep animals in conditions like this! I fully understand why her neighbor reported her to the animal cops. It's just a shame she was able to dupe them into thinking everything was fine.
Hoarding is a mental illness and if you watch that show, you will find the family members have cleaned up the homes only to have turn into a wreck a short time later. So going in and cleaning everything out doesnt work although that is the urge. I somewhat understand this sort of behavior has my mother has hoarding tendencies but nothing compared to the tv show. I have cleaned her home top to bottom and visit a few months later only to see the place looked like it was never touched. She always has an excuse. She didnt feel good so she didnt get around to straightening up and so on.
The show Hoarders upsets me at times especially when kids are involved and the parents are told the kids will be removed and they still cant throw something out. There was one show where the woman was hoarding animals and I was so angry. She had a dog in a cage so long that as the dog grew, part of the cage started to become imbedded in its body! The animal police said they werent sure the dog could be saved. The woman they were dealing with would not accept that the dog was injured. If I could have slapped that woman I would have!
Hoarding is a mental illness and if you watch that show, you will find the family members have cleaned up the homes only to have turn into a wreck a short time later. So going in and cleaning everything out doesnt work although that is the urge. I somewhat understand this sort of behavior has my mother has hoarding tendencies but nothing compared to the tv show. I have cleaned her home top to bottom and visit a few months later only to see the place looked like it was never touched. She always has an excuse. She didnt feel good so she didnt get around to straightening up and so on.
The show Hoarders upsets me at times especially when kids are involved and the parents are told the kids will be removed and they still cant throw something out. There was one show where the woman was hoarding animals and I was so angry. She had a dog in a cage so long that as the dog grew, part of the cage started to become imbedded in its body! The animal police said they werent sure the dog could be saved. The woman they were dealing with would not accept that the dog was injured. If I could have slapped that woman I would have!
I don't think going in and cleaning everything out is going to cure the hoarder. They will need some intense psychotherapy to get to the root of their insecurities that cause this behavior. But I do not see the benefit in that one-thing-at-a-time process they do on camera. I don't think that is going to help the hoarder get over whatever it is that's compelling them to obtain and keep all that stuff. I know it doesn't sound "nice", but again, maybe having them witness the shock of seeing all that worthless stuff gathered up and gotten rid of all at once can open the door to the start of healing. The screaming and crying that it's sure to bring on could be cathartic.
I don't think going in and cleaning everything out is going to cure the hoarder. They will need some intense psychotherapy to get to the root of their insecurities that cause this behavior. But I do not see the benefit in that one-thing-at-a-time process they do on camera. I don't think that is going to help the hoarder get over whatever it is that's compelling them to obtain and keep all that stuff. I know it doesn't sound "nice", but again, maybe having them witness the shock of seeing all that worthless stuff gathered up and gotten rid of all at once can open the door to the start of healing. The screaming and crying that it's sure to bring on could be cathartic.
I think the reason they go "one thing at a time" route is to put the control back into the hoarders hands because in reality the mess has controlled the hoarder for so long. I feel for the family members on that show. They lose their tempers and walk off. That would be me!
fallingwater, I agree. This woman's life is completely out of control. Every aspect of her life is a disaster and the hoarding is just the manifestation of her loss of control. She doesn't think there's anything wrong, though. Even the management company of her building approached her with complaints from other owners in the building and threatened to take action to get her out but she still couldn't see what she was doing wrong.
I can guarantee if anyone went in her apartment and just bulldozed everything out, she would completely lose it. Like you said, when they do that "one item at a time" thing on the show is to give the hoarder some sense of control over a situation that's been out of control for far too long.
I can't even imagine what her apartment would look like without all the crap in it. I know the floors are completely destroyed from the animals scratching and peeing/pooping everywhere. The walls are ruined from the dogs lifting their legs and peeing, not to mention the filth. The entire apartment would need a gut renovation that will probably cost in excess of $75K (floors, walls, ceiling, entire kitchen including appliances and plumbing, some windows are broken, the 2nd bathroom is destroyed, furniture is all destroyed. Let's not forget about getting the stench and germs out.)
She needs some intense psychotherapy, although I can guarantee she would never agree to it.
I think the reason they go "one thing at a time" route is to put the control back into the hoarders hands because in reality the mess has controlled the hoarder for so long. I feel for the family members on that show. They lose their tempers and walk off. That would be me!
Me, too. I used to have far more tolerance for the mentally ill, addicted, what have you, but I think time and age has gotten to me. I've lost all patience. "Look, time is short. You know what your problem is. Get your %$#@ together or get lost." This goes for alcoholic relatives, my bi-polar friend, and psychos asking for money on street corners.
It's probably good that I'm not in the mental health profession.
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