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Old 05-04-2013, 02:23 PM
 
7 posts, read 5,914 times
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What is a tactful way to send the message to a person that you don't like them and do not want them talking to you at all?
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Old 05-04-2013, 02:31 PM
 
Location: The Jar
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shantiqua View Post
What is a tactful way to send the message to a person that you don't like them and do not want them talking to you at all?

Just say this:

I don't like you, and don't wish to talk to you at all.
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Old 05-04-2013, 02:44 PM
 
25,740 posts, read 25,385,522 times
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Hmm, well, what's the situation? Are you required to see this person on a regular basis (coworker, friend of the family, etc.)? How often is this person contacting you?
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Old 05-04-2013, 04:21 PM
 
7 posts, read 5,914 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ View Post
Hmm, well, what's the situation? Are you required to see this person on a regular basis (coworker, friend of the family, etc.)? How often is this person contacting you?
Church related. I don't want to go into too many details, but I have changed my number and this woman doesn't get the message that I don't want to be associated with her anymore. She keeps approaching me to talk and she acts as if we're best friends when we're not.
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Old 05-04-2013, 04:31 PM
 
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I don't know that there is a really tactful way of doing that, but honesty is always best. Maybe it would be easier to text them and just tell them how you feel.
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Old 05-04-2013, 05:14 PM
 
Location: Not where I want to be
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It's really a difficult situation. The only thing I can think of is that anytime she starts to approach you, tell her you have to go or that you have to make an important call or something and just walk away.

Her: HIIIIII, Shantiqua!!!!! Come on, let's get some coffee and talk

You: Oh, hi. Sorry, can't talk right now. Gotta go! (and walk away)

or

Her: HIIIIII, Shantiqua!!!! Come on, let's sit over here and talk!

You: Oh, hi. Sorry, I have an important call to make and have to go. (take out phone and walk away)


She'll eventually get the hint. I think after a few times, you might consider telling her that, even though you consider her a good person, you just don't have much in common with her and would rather not "hang out" with her. Keep in mind, this IS going to hurt her feelings and she may even cry. If so, just apologize for hurting her feelings and go.
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Old 05-04-2013, 07:51 PM
 
2,097 posts, read 3,420,443 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shantiqua View Post
Church related. I don't want to go into too many details, but I have changed my number and this woman doesn't get the message that I don't want to be associated with her anymore. She keeps approaching me to talk and she acts as if we're best friends when we're not.
First of all, be sure that you are exquisitely polite. Super polite. Then she will not hold a grudge against you and you will feel comfortable around her in your church. Second, if you are very polite and genuinely respectful, she will not feel nearly as hurt if you excuse yourself because you have things to do, things you must attend to, etc.

Often, the person will feel most hurt not so much THAT you don't want a friendship as much as HOW you do it.
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Old 05-04-2013, 07:53 PM
 
2,097 posts, read 3,420,443 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amisi View Post
It's really a difficult situation. The only thing I can think of is that anytime she starts to approach you, tell her you have to go or that you have to make an important call or something and just walk away.

Her: HIIIIII, Shantiqua!!!!! Come on, let's get some coffee and talk

You: Oh, hi. Sorry, can't talk right now. Gotta go! (and walk away)

or

Her: HIIIIII, Shantiqua!!!! Come on, let's sit over here and talk!

You: Oh, hi. Sorry, I have an important call to make and have to go. (take out phone and walk away)


She'll eventually get the hint. I think after a few times, you might consider telling her that, even though you consider her a good person, you just don't have much in common with her and would rather not "hang out" with her. Keep in mind, this IS going to hurt her feelings and she may even cry. If so, just apologize for hurting her feelings and go.

Actually, I disagree with you. She should not say anything negative whatsoever about her feelings towards the woman, anything about how they don't share interests, etc. She should just be always "busy", so unfortunately so very, very busy, so pressed for time, etc. I did that with someone and we have never had bad words with each other and it makes it much easier.
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Old 05-06-2013, 12:14 PM
 
7,099 posts, read 24,500,052 times
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There are a lot of overly friendly people in this world. You need to learn to endure them. I know that can be very hard to do, but being dishonest about having something to do, being busy, etc. will sooner or later come back and bite you on the butt.

If she is interfering with your relationships with others, talk to them about her, they might understand her and give you some good advice about handling her. It might be time to be a little rude.....but still honest, please!
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Old 05-07-2013, 05:00 PM
 
12,886 posts, read 15,435,478 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shantiqua View Post
Church related. I don't want to go into too many details, but I have changed my number and this woman doesn't get the message that I don't want to be associated with her anymore. She keeps approaching me to talk and she acts as if we're best friends when we're not.
When she approaches you to talk...turn away and walk....it's rude I know...but maybe she'll decide she doesn't want to associate with someone as rude as you.
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