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My mother and step-dad are in their early fifties and decided to do their wills. My step-dad has been married to my mom since I was two and they have two sons together. We moved to the US from another country when I was 9 and my father stayed in our home country. My step-dad and I have an amicable relationship, especially in recent years. Anyway, I saw the drafts of the documents and my mother is leaving all her assets to the three of us equally, while my step-dad is leaving his assets equally to his two sons. (Note he has another daughter who lives here in the US and visits from time to time and she is not mentioned in the will at all.) Now I'm not money hungry, or a gold digger - my youngest brother is 13 and if (g-d forbid) my parents were to pass tomorrow, I would want him to get most of everything anyway. My brother and I are already established in our careers and homes but he would need a safety net.
I feel rather snubbed by this, but I'm not sure why. I am the oldest and have always been responsible for more stuff in the house, I used to even pick up slack for my step-dad for some of his chores. I just feel like when it's convenient then I'm a daughter, but then this happens.
The attorney brought up the point that if they were to die together, there would be an issues since assets are joint and there would be no way of splitting it according to the way they want it in their wills. I've always been on the outside with this family, but we are still family. When the youngest was born, I would drive down from college to watch him while my parents went on vacation. I helped 6 months ago when they went back to our country to my grandfather's funeral. I took time off work and stayed for a week with the little one. Maybe all this doesn't matter when it comes to wills.
In either case, neither of the 3 of us would ever start a fight over any of this, or even if they did, I would back out of it immediately. Just makes me feel weird being here for the weekend...
It is their money and they can do what they want with it. Give it to charity or divide it how they like among their children.
Sorry but you sound petty and greedy-be happy they are alive and well.
I understand that you have gone above and beyond than what was probably required of you and you would like to be acknowledged for your effort. I guess it's not going to happen in this will and I'm sad for you about it. So you have a choice how you will react. Your good deeds were seen by the one who is important if not your earthy parent. Your reward will be in blessings. So I think ultimately you will do what you have always done, the right thing, because that is who you are. Good luck
It sounds like your feelings are hurt rather than you feel left out financially. The man that acted as your father for all those years...and, yet it still sounds like there's been a line drawn in the sand all along.
The hurt feelings are understandable. I am not sure if there is anything you can do or say that won't come across as wrong though. If you can, try and forget what you saw and don't let the wills influence your actions around your family.
I guess I'm more confrontational. You might/might not want to talk to your mom (not sure you want to involve her in this).
I'd go to your step father and tell him how hurt you are. Tell him it's not about the money. Of course it will probably sound like it is-if it seems appropriate, ask if he could leave you a thing-the painting Aunt Tillie did, the set of dishes Gramma gave them. Let him know it really isn't the money.
Be ready to accept his decision tho'. Hopefully he won't get angry.
I don't think you seem greedy at all. You did site that you have your own place, a job, etc., and that you don't need the money. You also stated that you would like to see your youngest brother be taken care of.
Personally, I would wonder why I was completely left out, just as you are. I would wonder what I did to deserve not so much as a mention.
I also think that while your mom is clearly taking care of his kids in her will, he isn't taking care of hers in his will. I think your step-father is the greedy one.
It sounds like the mom is taking care of her bio kids (3) and the father is taking care of his bio kids (2 - if you don't count the daughter...there is a story there, I'm sure). The 2 boys overlap both parents, but the OP does not...hence the reason only mom mentioned her in the will.
When your step-dad has been your step-dad since you were 2, well, if it were my will, I'd include ALL the kids. I come from a blended family too, but we kids were always "the kids". My feelings would be hurt too in your situation.
Especially when Mom and Step-Dad decided to emigrate, separating out biological Dad, well then you'd think Step-Dad would step up and be a father all the way, right to the end. That's a bit sad.
Well, #daddyfail, but in your shoes I'd try not to let it get me down, or let it come between me and anyone else in the family. Good luck and who knows, he might change it down the road -- as his sons get older, or as circumstances change. You know you've been a good daughter, and there's peace of mind in that.
I saw this situation on Judge Judy and basically what ended up happening was that the elder sibling sued the much younger sibling for his "fair portion" of the father's money. Never mind the fact that the father wasn't the father of the elder sibling and that there was no animosity between the elder sibling and father. The elder sibling insisted that the father loved him too and would have wanted him to have some money. Even though the will doesn't show that. Judge Judy had to rule according to the will, but told the elder sibling that he was looking at it all wrong. The biggest gift was that the man was a good father to him too.
Of course your parents can do whatever with their money, but if it really bothers you-- honestly I wouldn't say to talk to the step-father. Talk to your mother about your feelings and concerns. At least this way, your mother can let you know if you can talk to your stepfather about this.
I think who ever earns the money gets to spend the money their way in life or after death. My brother got more then I did after our mother passed and I was surprised that she didn't give everything to her favorite. He spent all of his in two years. I've quadrupled it and then some. Go out and make your own and don't worry about what others do with theirs.
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