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Old 05-14-2013, 11:39 AM
 
32 posts, read 44,877 times
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It's a long drive to Oil City PA from Washington DC but to be family friendly we did the long 7 hour drive to celebrate the college graduation of one of my wife's cousins.

Once we arrived at the in-laws house we found my wife's mom and dad and all her sisters watching television. That is pretty much all they did the whole weekend, other than the short graduation party at a local hotel. No conversation, just tidbits and quips now and then during commercials. Due to family pressures we stayed at their house along with the rest of her large family. The TV was on 22 hours a day. That is all we did, watch television.

When I tried to engage people in conversation I was told to stay quiet they were watching the show. So I sat there and watched TV shows that I would never consider if I were home alone.

I wonder, is this common with other families too. When you visit relatives, do you watch much television?

I just got married last year and don't know the family very well.
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Old 05-14-2013, 12:05 PM
 
10,812 posts, read 8,058,272 times
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Doesn't happen with any of my relatives or in-laws, the TV's stay off.

I don't know how that helps you, though - it's not like you can go to them and say "other families don't do this, so please turn it off". Do you enjoy reading or playing digital games? If so, be sure to take some along on your next visit. Or just fire up your laptop or tablet and browse the internet.
You might even consider taking something like a jigsaw puzzle or an old-fashioned board game. If you pull it out, maybe someone will join you.
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Old 05-14-2013, 12:15 PM
 
Location: Sunny Bay Area, CA
1,566 posts, read 1,781,801 times
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Not really - if there is a special movie or sports game on, that's one thing. But to just sit and watch TV all weekend...that's another. I'm sorry you had to sit there like that after driving 7 hours! Hopefully it will change. What does your spouse say about it?
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Old 05-14-2013, 12:20 PM
 
Location: NY to NJ
662 posts, read 832,013 times
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Our TV is always on when my IL's come over. It saves me from talking to them. Bu they are socially akward drips, and them initiating any sort of convo other then talking about themselves, making judgments about strangers or the same boring family story, there are 5 of them, well, TV is sort of like the buffer.
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Old 05-14-2013, 12:20 PM
 
Location: Back at home in western Washington!
1,490 posts, read 3,945,327 times
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Sounds like my FIL. When all his kids and their spouses plus all the children would get together, it would be loud and hectic (lots of people to say the least). He would sit on the couch (not interacting with anyone), remote in hand, doing the bob-and-weave to see the tv around all the people and kids. I can't tell you how many times my kids got hollered at by him to be quiet so he could hear the tv . We (I and the kids) finally quit going over there unless it was nice out and we could go outside. Even on those days, all of us would be outside and he would be in on the couch.

Some people just really don't know how to socialize...
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Old 05-14-2013, 12:21 PM
 
32 posts, read 44,877 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GoldyViolet View Post
Not really - if there is a special movie or sports game on, that's one thing. But to just sit and watch TV all weekend...that's another. I'm sorry you had to sit there like that after driving 7 hours! Hopefully it will change. What does your spouse say about it?
My wife thinks it is sad that they don't read or follow current events and laughs at the crazy shows the whole family watches.
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Old 05-14-2013, 12:28 PM
 
15,254 posts, read 16,824,190 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Socially Inept View Post
It's a long drive to Oil City PA from Washington DC but to be family friendly we did the long 7 hour drive to celebrate the college graduation of one of my wife's cousins.

Once we arrived at the in-laws house we found my wife's mom and dad and all her sisters watching television. That is pretty much all they did the whole weekend, other than the short graduation party at a local hotel. No conversation, just tidbits and quips now and then during commercials. Due to family pressures we stayed at their house along with the rest of her large family. The TV was on 22 hours a day. That is all we did, watch television.

When I tried to engage people in conversation I was told to stay quiet they were watching the show. So I sat there and watched TV shows that I would never consider if I were home alone.

I wonder, is this common with other families too. When you visit relatives, do you watch much television?

I just got married last year and don't know the family very well.
That's the way my SIL's family is, but thankfully they live really far away so we've only visited a couple of times.

Next time take something to do, or if you drive, plan some outings either on your own or with your wife. Just because they sit around all day watching TV doesn't mean you have to.
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Old 05-14-2013, 12:28 PM
 
4,787 posts, read 9,295,185 times
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Exactly- what does your spouse say about this ? In my family/ extended family this would never happen, the TV is never on, except maybe for Super Bowl or World Series.

Is your spouse content to just sit like a bump on a log ? If so, then this is habitual. Good suggestions to take along a laptop, games.

Also, who says you have to sit home. Take your spouse, go for a walk, go for ice cream, take a drive to a lake, etc. Spouse won't go, take yourself or maybe some of the youngest kids there.

This is going to be a really uncomfortable situation if you see yourself doing this at family functions for the next 30-40 years. Discuss with your spouse and resolve this now.
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Old 05-14-2013, 12:35 PM
 
Location: NY to NJ
662 posts, read 832,013 times
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I have a story that would top all this. My husbands super weird, again, socially akward uncle, brought a dvd player with him to his MIL's wake. That's right, someone's wake, and watched it. When DH told me this, I was like, wait, and his wife and rest of the family allowed this. I would walk right over and slam it shut. How disrespectful? They also allowed their teenage "babies" bc DH's aunt treats them like they just came out of the womb, to bring DVD players to our engagement party, bc you know, it's too much for a 16 year old to sit a few hours and act normal like an almost-adult at a party.

This same turd, the uncle, on Thanksgiving, came to dinner, said literally about 2 sentences the whole night, then went, sat on the couch, wrapped himself up on a blanket and pretended to sleep, for 2 hours, in front of 7 other people. And my husband wonders why I find his family odd?
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Old 05-14-2013, 12:42 PM
 
10,812 posts, read 8,058,272 times
Reputation: 17010
Quote:
Originally Posted by Me 82 View Post
This same turd, the uncle, on Thanksgiving, came to dinner, said literally about 2 sentences the whole night, then went, sat on the couch, wrapped himself up on a blanket and pretended to sleep, for 2 hours, in front of 7 other people. And my husband wonders why I find his family odd?
We're a sociable bunch, but post-Thanksgiving-dinner non-pretend naps are tolerated! There's sometimes quite a shuffle to get the best places on the sofas and recliners.
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