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Yeah, I try not to jump on anyone for just a difference of opinion. I only jump when they throw out some meanness themselves to back up their opinion. People can have opinions without slamming others in the process.
here is another suggestion....and I'm not addressing you about this, just came to mind....
When I started writing in forums, I was afraid, and took things people wrote the wrong way, actually, if people disagreed with me, it threw me way off kilter...
and also, b/c we cannot see each other's faces, it is hard sometimes to understand, if people are being rude or not....so there is surely a lot to learn in these forums...one of them being, how to write and share with others, without stepping on toes
and like you, now, if people get nasty with me, I started giving it right back to them....but in the beginning, boy oh, boy what a time it was to learn to have thicker skin.... but have found the easiest way to handle a disjointed rude person is to ignore them, b/c no matter what, they have to have the last word and won't stop until the thread is closed. you cannot argue with them....
If you find yourself starting to care what people say on message boards where no one really knows who someone else is, then its probably an opportune time to get back to reality, turn off the computer and enjoy some human contact. There really is so much more to life than what goes on past your keyboard.
I'm not talking about city-data either. Maybe bc it's a mixture of men and women, I dunno. I got so fed up, I recently de-activated my account on another parenting/mom type board. The women on there, and it was literally a clique of them, were downright witches, especially to posters who didn't live 24/7 on the board. I mean, you would post a question or even a vent, which many of us do on here too, and there were women on there who would post an extremely witchy comment, totally unrelated to what you posted, just because, or the best, would post gifs (pictures) which were usually mocking the person, and then a whole bunch of other women would join along. It was pathetic. And the holyier than thou attitudes some of them had. I can be a witch too if need be, and I got attacked IMO, a few times and went right back at them. I guess that rubbed them the wrong way bc then they would search out my older posts, bump it up, and start writing snotty things. This wasn't just done to me, it was done to loads of people. I am all for tough love or telling it like it is, but then there is being mean, just for the sake of being mean. I swear my only conclusion is that they must not have sex very often, have miserable lives/marriages or are literal internet loons. Is this a case of Internet balls? Like if I met any of these people in real life they would say half the crap that they post hiding behind their screen remaining anonymous?
There's a lot of reasons why people are nasty online. A lot of people can hide behind a computer screen or smartphone, for example. Of course total anonymity is not possible online but most of us don't have the means or time to look someone up so most people think and believe their posts are anonymous, so they say what they want to say. Why are so many saying nasty things?
A lot of people are taking their frustrations out online.
A lot of people are just plain ****heads.
A lot of people do it for attention (i.e., ****heads wanting their 15 minutes of fame)
Someone doesn't like you and wants you off the blog/forum/website
Someone is being paid to bully you. If you go onto a computer forum and bash Micro$oft you might run into an undercover employee who doesn't take too kind to anti-Microsoft insults, for example.
That's the jist of it if you ask me. It's really bad overall, I don't blame you for questioning it.
It could be because many people have a lot of anger bottled up inside and the internet is a very convenient place to release some of it. OP, you said you come to post a thread to vent, but I bet a lot of other people come here to vent by being nasty to other people, in ways they otherwise cannot do in real life. In real life, if one is being mean to others there would likely be repercussion; on the internet, the worst that could happen (in most cases anyway) would be a forum ban. Big deal.
What I don't say in real life, I don't write it here.
Agreed with the anger piece.. It's the same reason why people are so nasty to customer service people, because they have someone that has to sit and take it.
A number of sites have disabled comments because of the acrimony out there. When, even an article online as simple what screw to use in a project causes major flame wars, in my opinion, it's a mind set of having little or no control over your own life, with maybe a combo of depression, and here, you CAN control, and you CAN cause things to happen and feel like the king of the world.
didn't this forum years ago, give flamming people a break from the forum for a while? Or maybe that was another forum, but I thought that if members treated others badly they were forbidden to come back to this forum for a while?
didn't this forum years ago, give flamming people a break from the forum for a while? Or maybe that was another forum, but I thought that if members treated others badly they were forbidden to come back to this forum for a while?
Temporary bans are still given; they could be for a few days, for a month, or even longer. But you wouldn't necessarily know about them unless the person who is banned tells you via direct message. Or in some cases you may have an educated guess when a regular poster all of a sudden isn't posting anymore, then reappears. But there could be other reasons for someone taking a break, of course - illness, travel, or simply a decision to get away from it for a while.
One time I decided (on my own) to stop posting in a particular forum (not on City-Data as a whole). But after two or three months I got over being turned off (it's a long story) and started posting there again.
Temporary bans are still given; they could be for a few days, for a month, or even longer. But you wouldn't necessarily know about them unless the person who is banned tells you via direct message. Or in some cases you may have an educated guess when a regular poster all of a sudden isn't posting anymore, then reappears. But there could be other reasons for someone taking a break, of course - illness, travel, or simply a decision to get away from it for a while.
One time I decided (on my own) to stop posting in a particular forum (not on City-Data as a whole). But after two or three months I got over being turned off (it's a long story) and started posting there again.
Thanks, I didn't know if bans were still given out....
well, I noticed last week while posting and checking my threads, that it was a lot more peaceful....so?
Hopefully that will continue....
I think they are either so repressed that they cannot express their obnoxiousness anywhere else, or they are so insecure that they feel they must constantly prove their supposed superiority to others, or they are completely lacking in compassion and/or social skills, or they just like to get a "rise" out of others, or they are just plain mean -- and often it is a combination of one or more of these!
When I am "attacked" for expressing a viewpoint that someone else disagrees with (don't feel like you're the only one who is!), I try to not let it bother me, but I admit that it it is really difficult to do that after I have tried to be as polite and reasonable as I can.
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but have found the easiest way to handle a disjointed rude person is to ignore them, b/c no matter what, they have to have the last word and won't stop until the thread is closed. you cannot argue with them....
