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I think this situation is more common for people of my generation (Gen X) and younger, due to the increased frequency of divorce and remarriage after the 60's and I wondered about other people's experiences.
My father was married three times and in his first marriage he had four children. He divorced his 1st wife when his youngest son with her was a baby. When he met my mother very soon after that, her husband had run off and she had my brother, who was an infant at the time. He legally adopted my brother after they married, and then they had me nine years later. So, his youngest son from the 1st marriage and my brother are only a year apart in age.
My father always made a point of keeping his "first" and "second" families separate. He visited his children from that marriage, and always paid child support, but he never "blended" the kids or brought them to his home he shared with my mother and brother, with the exception of his oldest son who suffered from schizophrenia and committed suicide when I was little. He used to come and stay with us, I've been told, in between hospital stays, but I have no memory of him.
I always got the impression that the other children saw my mother as a home-wrecker (even though she did not meet my father until he was divorced) and for that reason along with my father's efforts to keep distance, I grew up not knowing my half siblings from his 1st marriage at all. I spent a little time with my half brother (the youngest) when I was 9 or 10, then briefly "met" my eldest half brother when I was a teen, and didn't even meet my half sister until our father died in 2002. She is old enough to be my mother.
Anyway, my attempts to reach out haven't gotten me very far. My half sister doesn't answer letters I've sent. My two half brothers are "Facebook friends" with me but they don't seem to be active on FB at all. I've sent messages and I don't get replies. I just get the vibe that they aren't interested in pursuing a relationship. The one that has shown the most interest is the youngest but here we are, all adults (me being the youngest at 41) so I don't know if it will ever turn out that we are anything resembling "close".
I'm just wondering if this is pretty common, or if others have different situations. I have a friend whose husband left her for a younger woman and even so, she tries hard to see to it that her daughter and the younger half siblings develop a close relationship, which is how I feel it "should" be in an ideal world, but maybe I'm a dreamer.
My sister on my father's side was an only child until the age of 59, when I contacted her. Happily she has accepted me and we have a long distance relationship. We have met, she visiting me twice on trips down to south Texas, and me staying a few days and nights with her on my return to Texas from Michigan. I have two sisters on my mother's side. The three are 15, 17,and 19 years older than I am. Sadly, my two sisters on my mothers side, that I grew up with, have passed away. I still miss them both to this day!
my half brothers are 6 & 9 yrs older than me. growing up i was close with both, in adulthood only the older brother tries to keep in touch with me. the other one has fallen off the face of the earth. i've tried reaching out to him over the years, to no avail. i've heard he's done the same to the oldest brother as well. his loss!
My sister on my father's side was an only child until the age of 59, when I contacted her. Happily she has accepted me and we have a long distance relationship. We have met, she visiting me twice on trips down to south Texas, and me staying a few days and nights with her on my return to Texas from Michigan. I have two sisters on my mother's side. The three are 15, 17,and 19 years older than I am. Sadly, my two sisters on my mothers side, that I grew up with, have passed away. I still miss them both to this day!
So your sister from your father's side, did she know about you or know how to get in touch with you before you contacted her? Was it awkward at first?
My brother (that I grew up with) is technically my half brother, but I never think of him that way because I grew up in the same house with him. To me he is just my brother.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cre8lite
my half brothers are 6 & 9 yrs older than me. growing up i was close with both, in adulthood only the older brother tries to keep in touch with me. the other one has fallen off the face of the earth. i've tried reaching out to him over the years, to no avail. i've heard he's done the same to the oldest brother as well. his loss!
People are so very strange, aren't they? My wife had a half sister and Aunt get in touch after not hearing from either of them or knowing them for her whole life (father's side).. then the Aunt disappeared as quickly as she'd shown up, by simply not showing up for our wedding then seeming to drop off the face of the earth.
I think this situation is more common for people of my generation (Gen X) and younger, due to the increased frequency of divorce and remarriage after the 60's and I wondered about other people's experiences.
My father was married three times and in his first marriage he had four children. He divorced his 1st wife when his youngest son with her was a baby. When he met my mother very soon after that, her husband had run off and she had my brother, who was an infant at the time. He legally adopted my brother after they married, and then they had me nine years later. So, his youngest son from the 1st marriage and my brother are only a year apart in age.
My father always made a point of keeping his "first" and "second" families separate. He visited his children from that marriage, and always paid child support, but he never "blended" the kids or brought them to his home he shared with my mother and brother, with the exception of his oldest son who suffered from schizophrenia and committed suicide when I was little. He used to come and stay with us, I've been told, in between hospital stays, but I have no memory of him.
I always got the impression that the other children saw my mother as a home-wrecker (even though she did not meet my father until he was divorced) and for that reason along with my father's efforts to keep distance, I grew up not knowing my half siblings from his 1st marriage at all. I spent a little time with my half brother (the youngest) when I was 9 or 10, then briefly "met" my eldest half brother when I was a teen, and didn't even meet my half sister until our father died in 2002. She is old enough to be my mother.
Anyway, my attempts to reach out haven't gotten me very far. My half sister doesn't answer letters I've sent. My two half brothers are "Facebook friends" with me but they don't seem to be active on FB at all. I've sent messages and I don't get replies. I just get the vibe that they aren't interested in pursuing a relationship. The one that has shown the most interest is the youngest but here we are, all adults (me being the youngest at 41) so I don't know if it will ever turn out that we are anything resembling "close".
I'm just wondering if this is pretty common, or if others have different situations. I have a friend whose husband left her for a younger woman and even so, she tries hard to see to it that her daughter and the younger half siblings develop a close relationship, which is how I feel it "should" be in an ideal world, but maybe I'm a dreamer.
I am the youngest of 6 siblings. My father had 2 with his 1st marriage, 2 with his 2nd, and me with his 3rd. My mother had 1 with a previous relationship. Our ages are 51,49,44,42,41, and I am 31. My sister (41) and I are really close. My brother (42) and I werent close until I became an adult. He was also in and out of prison my whole life. Last year we had become the closer than we have ever been and then he went back to prison but this time for 25 years. My sister(44) and I were never really close but I think she just always felt guilty for not really being around when I was growing up. Up until a couple years ago we would go and get our nails done, go shopping, or go out to eat. Now my other sister and I can barely get her to respond to a text. She doesn't come to my kids birthday parties or even Christmas anymore. My brother(49) and I have never been close. I didnt even know about him for a long time. Everytime I talk to him all he does is brag about how much money he has. My brother(51) have never even really spoke. At least not that I can remember. But we have gotten pretty close through emails over the past few years. He is also currently in prison but still has a few years to go. Other than my sister(41) my 2 brothers who are in prison were the ones I heard from the most. For a long time I have felt like I have been the only one trying to have a relationship with them. I text with no response. I email and dont hear back for months.
Not my personal experience, but since it does involve my daughter, reading some of these responses got me thinking about her situation...
"Holly" has five younger half-siblings (four sisters and a brother) from different relationships which her father has had, and while she's met most of them at least once, they aren't close and might as well be strangers.
Mine are 3 and 4 and I'm 17 (all girls). I live with them and my dad and stepmom so I am very close to them. They look up to me a lot and ask tons of questions about stuff I love doing [Like motorcycle riding lol]. I am still the only child and grandchild on my moms side so It's like I have both worlds which is nice when I need peace from toddlers and the dog lol.
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Youngest of 6
