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I wonder if where you live is part of the problem. I've lived in Indy and there isn't much middle ground there. I think that's especially true among the black population. There just aren't many people who are like you. Here in Chicago it's a different story. Since it's a larger city there is also a much larger black middle class who have a lot in common with you as well as plenty of whites who were raised in mixed neighborhoods and won't make fun of you.
People are different based on where and how they were raised. It's not really a color thing. A white person from the suburbs of Chicago isn't going to have much in common with a white person from Appalachia. It has nothing to do with being better or worse than anyone else, just different. You're no better or worse than those black people who have been raised differently, just different. You have to find people who have been raised like you and there are many out there. You just have to find them. Dump your friends who put you down because you don't fit a stereotype.
Why don't you come on up to Chi-town? We have a lot of people here who you should have a lot in common with, black and white. If you search a bit you should be able to find them in the Indy area too. You probably just have to look harder. Until then be proud of who you are and feel lucky that you weren't raised in the ghetto.
I hate the terms "acting white" or "acting black" but have to use them below to make a point. Forget it...I will just try to act turquoise, magenta, or even orange since people are allowed to act like colors
Anyway....
As a black man who grew up in suburban, mostly (but not all) white neighborhood in Mobile, AL, I talk proper, like to read, have a college degree and dress decent . All those things are considered acting white. Growing up I remember there were people who criticized my parents for not raising me in the ghetto around more blacks. I can't tell you how many times i have been called an uncle tom or an oreo.
Anyway, even though I am in my 30s , I have some self-hatred due to being called all of the above mentioned names , not only as a child, but also as an adult. I really don't feel like I am accepted by blacks or whites. Blacks do not accept me because I don't act "hood" enough, and the white people that I have hung out with over the years make fun of me because I do not fit all of the black stereotypes and they tell me all the time that i am not really black. I do have a few black friends and never get flack from them...and honestly, most of the black folks that do talk about me do it behind my back, but the white folks poke fun or put me down to my face. To be honest, I really don't like most people because it seems like everyone treats everyone else based off stereotypes rather than individuals.
For those of you that were raised in the ghetto that don't "act" ghetto, do you get looked down upon by blacks you grew up with because you speak proper english, or dont fit every black stereotype? Just like I mentioned that suburban blacks try to act ghetto , I never see ghetto raised blacks try to "act white".
Not trying to offend , but I just asked the question above because I know that most ghetto raised black people are actually good folks but they get caught up in the stereotypes of society and they feel like they are told they have to fit them because of where they are from . It seems like no matter what , all blacks go thru similar struggles. Society criticizes all blacks for being ghetto , but as soon as a black person does something positive , tries to educated themselves, talks proper or does anything considered "non ghetto", society makes fun of them and says they are sellouts and trying to be like white people. You can't win!!
Just out of curiosity to you prefer to date or marry white women?
I can relate to this, except that I don't find it alienating at all.
I don't speak the African American vernacular dialect of English, although I understand it and find myself translating to white people when in mixed company.
To me it is no different than understanding deep caribbean dialects, where I don't change the way I talk to sound more accepting to haitians with a thick accent, for example, and in that scenario it wouldn't be expected that I do.
My preferred company is around intellectuals, and stereotypical dialects simply aren't an issue intellectuals dwell on. A more standardized version of American English is the lingua franc
My preferred company is around intellectuals, and stereotypical dialects simply aren't an issue intellectuals dwell on.
There you go. Time to upgrade your social circle. Ignorance may be bliss to some that will soon be left behind. Embrace your intelligence. It's a gift.
I don't get why most focused on blacks when he said he is uncomfortable arouund whites also?
Personally,I find blacks don't like it when you act white,and to some whites you are still a Moderator Cut at the end of the day.
Some whites can't accept that some blacks are making it,and are smarter than them.
What about Asians?
Despite what some whites say on this forum,from my experience they ostracize you if you actually don't act like the ghetto stereotype,not the other way around. I found the ghetoo blacks get more repsect from some whites than middle class blacks do.
Don't believe me? Just ask anyone that's black in a higher up position. You think some whites respect them more because they have achieved something? No
Take a look at Obama.
Last edited by Jaded; 05-21-2013 at 09:23 PM..
Reason: Offensive language
I know that most ghetto raised black people are actually good folks but they get caught up in the stereotypes of society and they feel like they are told they have to fit them because of where they are from . It seems like no matter what , all blacks go thru similar struggles. Society criticizes all blacks for being ghetto , but as soon as a black person does something positive , tries to educated themselves, talks proper or does anything considered "non ghetto", society makes fun of them and says they are sellouts and trying to be like white people. You can't win!!
In one of the jobs I had when I was young, one of my coworkers was a black girl who spoke proper English around customers. But whenever she'd be chitchatting with some of the black coworkers, she would bust out with ghetto black sayings such as "You's a lie!". Obviously, she was changing her way of speaking out of her own choice. Therefore, you can't blame society for what some people choose to do.
Life is way too short to worry about what people think of you! Try to just focus on what brings you joy in life. If you don't have anything that you are passionate about explore different things. In time you will find what truly makes you happy and at that time you will surround yourself with people that also have those similar interests and race will (mostly) be a mute point!
How do I know....my husband is black (I'm white) and people tell him all the time that he doesn't seem black etc. He could care less. Our biracial children (in their twenties) were raised in white neighborhoods and people think they "act" white. They are just acting like themselves!
Now that our children are grown and out of the house we are in the process of doing what we have always dreamed of doing....moving out to the country and having a farm (where alot of people don't understand interracial relationships) but it doesn't matter to us what they think of us. We are doing what we are passionate about! And some of the people that initially gave us the craziest looks are people that we have had the longest and best conversations with after the fact...and you know why...because they finally realize that internally we are no different than they are :-)
This whole thing is sad. That is one reason that I moved away from the south. I suggest you go on a trip to a northern or Midwest city and see if you like it
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk (please forgive typos)
This whole thing is sad. That is one reason that I moved away from the south. I suggest you go on a trip to a northern or Midwest city and see if you like it.
He currently lives in the Midwest. I think he'd fare better in the South.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Justme305
In one of the jobs I had when I was young, one of my coworkers was a black girl who spoke proper English around customers. But whenever she'd be chitchatting with some of the black coworkers, she would bust out with ghetto black sayings such as "You's a lie!". Obviously, she was changing her way of speaking out of her own choice. Therefore, you can't blame society for what some people choose to do.
This is called code-switching, and there's NOTHING wrong with it. VERY few people walk around in "professional" mode 24/7. I'm a speech-language pathologist, and I code-switch and use slang when I'm with my friends. There's an appropriate time and place for everything. At least this employee was professional enough to know the proper settings to use which manner of speaking.
I had this problem. Most of my friends were white until I was in my mid-twenties. I met a Black woman at a company I was working with. She wanted to know why all of my friends were white and had a problem with it. I then made an effort to make friends within my own race but I wasn't considered 'Black enough' .
I got the talking white and you read too much from my own family (that's another story lol).
Anyway, now I surround myself with people I like and don't care what others think. Life is too short.
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