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Old 05-20-2013, 08:09 AM
 
Location: South Carolina
13,820 posts, read 18,790,699 times
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We went out to dinner with friends and the young ladys family we have known forever seems like . Well anyways when it came time to pay the young lady opened her wallet and paid her and her bfs share of the meal . Her aunt commented "When a woman has to open her wallet , there is a problem with him " . My husband just gave me that look like dont say anything at all . Then the aunt turns to me and asks me "Dont you think so ?" , I kept my opinion to myself and told her "well Im not sure how I feel about that ". My husband paid and we said our goodbyes . I have just never been put in such a sittuation . What would you have said or done ?
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Old 05-20-2013, 08:24 AM
 
5,822 posts, read 13,317,177 times
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I would said it was none of my business or not respond, as you did.
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Old 05-20-2013, 08:26 AM
 
35,108 posts, read 40,238,434 times
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I may be quite tempted to tell the Aunt that she needs to discuss that issue with her niece in private and you have no comment because it is none of your business how others tend to their finances.
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Old 05-20-2013, 08:52 AM
 
Location: New Albany, IN
832 posts, read 1,378,753 times
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I think you had a good response. In your shoes I would have said, "well, it depends."

The aunt's comment would have struck a nerve with me because I've been the one in the situation where I'm a young woman paying for our dinner. My husband was unemployed for almost two years so I was the only one who had a job and a bank account. It was already a tough enough time making very little money and worrying about every dollar we spent, plus noticing my husband's tension or pained expression every time I had to open my wallet with him standing right next to me. Now that he's been working a few years and has his own bank cards I still don't get tired of seeing hint of pride in his eyes when he takes the check. Even while it's "our money" he likes to look like he's taking care of me. Aww... The only problem I would have in your story is if the boyfriend of the young woman truly was a freeloader and had no intentions on working or doing something useful with his life.
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Old 05-20-2013, 09:04 AM
 
537 posts, read 995,020 times
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Wait, why is it okay for a male to pay for a meal but yet a woman pays for a meal, it's some sort of deal breaker? Why does no one ever comment on how rude it is for a woman to just expect a meal to be paid for? I'm not understanding the double standard. I pay for my boyfriend all the time, and he does the same for me. I've also paid for many male friends, dates, etc. without blinking an eye. Why? Because I want to, I have the means to, and it's my money.

If he is just using her for money, then I'd understand a little better. However, none of this is explained, and I'm not going to automatically assume that because a male is being paid for that he is being rude or expecting his girlfriend to pay for him.

Last edited by drunkwithwords; 05-20-2013 at 09:05 AM.. Reason: clarity
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Old 05-20-2013, 09:12 AM
 
Location: Columbus, Indiana
957 posts, read 1,941,243 times
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I might say, "Well, times have changed, but it's really none of my business." I agree with the above posters, so I'm not going to repeat what they've already said.
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Old 05-20-2013, 10:19 AM
 
1,961 posts, read 3,759,597 times
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I probably would have said that I don't agree, and I don't feel comfortable commenting on other peoples habits.

Also, she probably invited her boyfriend, and it is correct manners for the person issuing the invite to pay. .

And what I would love to have said was when someone has to make a comment about others in front of them, the problem lies with the person commenting.
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Old 05-20-2013, 02:19 PM
 
13,169 posts, read 20,791,547 times
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Once I found my voice again after witnessing such rudeness, I would have said something along the lines of "I am happy to see a balance among the spending of young people these days".

I doubt that young couple will ever agree to dine with the others again.
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Old 05-20-2013, 02:29 PM
 
Location: The Jar
20,068 posts, read 14,436,398 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by phonelady61 View Post
We went out to dinner with friends and the young ladys family we have known forever seems like . Well anyways when it came time to pay the young lady opened her wallet and paid her and her bfs share of the meal . Her aunt commented "When a woman has to open her wallet , there is a problem with him " . My husband just gave me that look like dont say anything at all . Then the aunt turns to me and asks me "Dont you think so ?" , I kept my opinion to myself and told her "well Im not sure how I feel about that ". My husband paid and we said our goodbyes . I have just never been put in such a sittuation . What would you have said or done ?
Another case of someone having diarrhea of the mouth!

IMO, your response to the aunt's rudeness was perfect!

Last edited by picklejuice; 05-20-2013 at 02:39 PM..
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Old 05-20-2013, 03:22 PM
 
419 posts, read 950,831 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
Once I found my voice again after witnessing such rudeness, I would have said something along the lines of "I am happy to see a balance among the spending of young people these days".
This. Though I wouldn't have said it so nicely. I would have said something like of "what the hell difference does it make?"
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