Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I suspect that others here have experienced this. Even though we had our rivalries while growing up, I used to be very close with my family members - siblings and cousins - when I was younger. But as I've gotten older, started a family of my own and become financially successful, one by one they have stopped keeping in touch with me. It's gotten to the point where I later find out that a family member was visiting close to my area and didn't even bother to let me know.
I am nearly certain that this is happening because of jealousy on their part, but what am I to do? Can I take any action to stop or reverse this?
While it is possible that only jealousy is the reason, in my experience it doesn't happen quite that way. What does happen is the others get tired of hearing about the latest big purchase, or the frequent expensive vacations.
Best course of action is to invite the family over, and tone down talking about your success. Reminisce about the good old times with the clan.
First of all your speculation about the main reason (jealousy) for the lack of contact may or may not be correct. I have some cousins who have visited in my area without (as I found out later) contacting me, but they are better off financially than I am, so I'm sure it wasn't jealousy. I was disappointed, but I don't dwell on it.
There is nothing to do aobut it, other than making reasonable efforts to keep in touch. If they don't respond to those efforts, then you should accept the situation. Relationships cannot be forced.
While it is possible that only jealousy is the reason, in my experience it doesn't happen quite that way. What does happen is the others get tired of hearing about the latest big purchase, or the frequent expensive vacations.
Best course of action is to invite the family over, and tone down talking about your success. Reminisce about the good old times with the clan.
I never brag or even talk about such things with anyone. Nonetheless, my lifestyle and activities are obviously visible for others to see - I cannot help that. Unfortunately, time and again I've seen others have a reaction to that alone.
I suspect that others here have experienced this. Even though we had our rivalries while growing up, I used to be very close with my family members - siblings and cousins - when I was younger. But as I've gotten older, started a family of my own and become financially successful, one by one they have stopped keeping in touch with me. It's gotten to the point where I later find out that a family member was visiting close to my area and didn't even bother to let me know.
I am nearly certain that this is happening because of jealousy on their part, but what am I to do? Can I take any action to stop or reverse this?
I have not personally experienced this, but I have a family member A who stopped speaking to family member B for that very reason. I told B to let A be. It's not worthy of the attention. When someone cuts you off and you know you have done nothing wrong, don't to anything to stop or reverse it. It's not your mess to work on. Don't be the "bigger person", don't feed into the crazy. It's hurtful, sure. But it is a testament to their character. Consider it a blessing that they have removed themselves from your orbit.
Be grateful that they aren't wasting your time with hostile comments like "oh, look at that fancy car, la-di-da" or belittling your enjoyment of the fruits of your labor, like "Budapest? Why would anyone want to go THERE?"
I have not personally experienced this, but I have a family member A who stopped speaking to family member B for that very reason. I told B to let A be. It's not worthy of the attention. When someone cuts you off and you know you have done nothing wrong, don't to anything to stop or reverse it. It's not your mess to work on. Don't be the "bigger person", don't feed into the crazy. It's hurtful, sure. But it is a testament to their character. Consider it a blessing that they have removed themselves from your orbit.
What you're saying is practical but, as you point out, it's also hurtful. I very much enjoyed the closeness and good times we once had. I guess life is just like this. Take it or leave it.
I have friends who won't talk to me for a while if I experience a major success in my life. I'm not sure if it's directly related to what's happening in my life or if it's merely coincidental. For a while, I would get sad, but I realized that family and friendship is about sharing success and failures and then growing from those experiences. Do you really want to be around people who aren't emotionally available or reliable?
If they are in fact ignoring you because you are experiencing success in your life, then let them deal with their emotions but be open to them if they come back. It is natural for people to experience jealousy. If you are trying to communicate with them, and they are not answering in return, just let it go. You can't stop or reverse it, because you can't control what people feel toward you. And you can't change your life to be what other people expect it to be.
I know this doesn't exactly help, but I think it's important to be around people who want to see you succeed and will be there for you when life is good and bad.
On the contrary, maybe they feel insignificant and like a burden if you host them
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
