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Wow, very interesting; many thx for sharing Miss Crabcakes...
Just curious though, how do they find the time to do all of the activities you had listed below, and still hold down a good-paying, full-time job with benefits? Also, how do they successfully manage employer expectations for overtime work? I work my heart out at the office every day -- I only very recently started working a standard, 8-hour day again, since before that I had worked 10-14+ hour shifts for years -- and when I get home, I find that I am utterly exhausted and energy-less. But ya, even now, I'm still way too tired and feel like a dead battery, to be able to go to do those kinds of things after work!
ETA #1: Even if they are not working full-time and only work part-time, how are they able to maintain the sort of lifestyle you had described below on a practical basis, at the reduced part-time rate of pay (i.e., vs. full-time work)?
ETA #2: Also I'm not yet 35, FWIW if that makes a difference at all...still have some time to go yet, before I reach that point in life, lol.
Well, when you have no spouse and no kids, you just have the time.
I remember when I was single, I was equally as busy and had loads of free time for social events. Hell, I was a member of 7-8 Meetups groups, was on 5-6 dating sites, had dates lined up and hung out with friends at least 1-2 times weekly. And all this while attending grad school online!! I also never worked 10-14 hour days. I never had overtime then either. In fact, I rarely ever have overtime hours.
I think most of my friends work the standard 40 hours.
Who has time for all this crap? When do these people sleep, relax with a good movie, tan, play w/their dogs, mow their lawns...get my point. I wouldn't have enough time to have kids. I'd be exhausted...LOL...
Koale
Well not every friend does ALL these things but this is a collection from several friends I know.
Also, most of these friends rent, don't own and don't have dogs.
When I was single, I was socially busy pretty much Weds through Saturday. I rented a small 1-bedroom apt (which I could clean completely in about 2 hours) and I took classes online and got homework done on Sundays. I also had an easy-peasy job where I got off by 4:30pm and I planned everything online.
I think I made sure to keep my calendar full because I felt I had SO much free time to myself.
I mean, I do have things to do with my free time, but a lot of them happen to be work and solitary activities. Since three more of my friends will be having children this year, that is going to reduce my social opportunities considerably. These days it is somewhat common for me to spend a weekend by myself.
For comparison, I used to go out in my mid 20s to early 30s 3 to 4 times a week sometimes and it was not uncommon for me to be out Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.
I know one of my Facebook friends my age parties like crazy. Vegas, concerts, the beach. But he's not typical. I'm also getting too old to drink all the time. Kills me these days.
So, people 35+ and single, what do you typically do with your free weeknights and weekends? How often do you go out? What do you do? Maybe you are never married, divorced, widowed, etc.
Divorced "childfree/by choice" 40-yr.-old.
Can't stand "partying" (in the usual sense),
but I'd enjoy having a "party of two" (at my place) w/someone (whom I've yet to meet).
As an extreme introvert (w/sensory & social obstacles), while I crave a social life,
my enthusiasms are solitary ones: listening to music online, watching tv, drawing & reading.
Being out in public (which includes groups/crowds) is awful for me,
I'm only happy/comfortable at home-where I occupy myself well, but there is the trouble of loneliness.
I get along okay with just one person at a time,
and that sort of setting isn't really available when outside,
surrounded by hordes of other humans.
Feel like I'm going to have a panic attack under those conditions.
Yes, I am getting professional help, but it's still not helping enough.
Am not seeking advice, merely sharing my experience, such as it is.
I like coming home and relaxing after work and watching TV or youtube videos. I spend/waste time on youtube watching movies, old and new music videos, recipe videos, tutorials for learning Spanish, doing exercise videos, etc.
I also travel alone when I have a week off. Chicago, Montreal and L.A. are a few places that I’ve been by myself.
Some other things I might do after work or on the weekends:
-go to the gym, do a workout DVD or go for a run/walk
-go see a movie
-check out locally owned stores, especially when a new store opens
-browse the stores at one of the malls
-go to a juice bar or frozen yogurt place and read a magazine (I was never really into coffee or alcohol so you won’t find me at a coffee shop or a bar.)
-go to the library to borrow books, movies, or workout DVDs
-on Saturday or Sunday I might go on a day trip somewhere
Yesterday was my birthday, and I had the day off from work. I got up early and went to a very nice breakfast place by myself, read my kindle while I ate. Then I came home, relaxed for a while, gardened a bit and then took my youngest dog to the dog park for an hour. Then I went out to lunch and for a brief shopping expedition with my roommate before coming back home and taking a long nap (sinuses were bothering me all day). Then in the evening, it was off to a wine/beer/food tasting festival at the Botanic Gardens with my roommate and a couple other friends. Pretty awesome - and I had like 9 other things I wanted to do that day.
It's difficult for me to develop connections with people. But I keep busy. I paint. I hike. I shoot pool. I go bowling. I go to movies. I maintain a couple of websites. I just returned from vacation. I do it all alone. Given eight weekend nights in a month, I probably go out on three of them. I'm more likely to go out during the day, when it's sunny.
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