Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
You know, the whole birds of a feather. Do you find this to be true in friendship (and in general) or is it opposites attract because they have much to learn from each other. (Opposites attract but similar stay together?)
I think that with most friendships as well as romantic relationships, it's MORE of the "birds of a feather flock together" philosophy. I say this because it's hard for people to change their personality, so a group of friends (just like a romantic couple) will tend to be the same type of people with similar morals, values, thinking, ethics, etc.
I think the "opposites attract" thing can happen INITIALLY, but this way is generally NOT long-lasting aka in it for the long haul. People who are too different from each other will often (didn't say always) tire of each other after a while because they see that they are in constant conflict due to opposite ways of thinking & will grow to even dislike the person after a while.
Friendships between people of quite different personalities can often grow out of common interests or a shared environment such as school or the workplace. As long as those common interests or shared environment remain, yes I think it's very possible to be genuine friends. It's harder to maintain the friendship when what you have in common is no longer there. Then the differences become much more evident.
and in case my comments don't belong in this forum, I apologize, but it got me to thinking of my one and only real 'friendship' it seems. My friend was a co-worker which I shared a tremendous love/hate relationship with for 10 years. There were times I couldn't stand to look at her let alone admit I even knew
her name. Seems much easier now that I am 3,000 miles away in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, lol...
I ponder and worry that she is OK healthwise when I really acted like I could care less when we lived in
the same town. I send her patouli oil, her favorite, cuz I know (or have been told) she has no money for the finer things in life. She considers Patouli one of those finer things. Guilt or am I actually more like her
than I care to admit...don't know. Interesting...
Koale
Hell, im moving outa my homestate of nearly 33 years so I can go meet and be with people that are more like me, think and do the things I wanna do because they essentially don't exist in my area, especially women to date.
It depends. I don't think either statement is exclusionary. People who are "opposites" usually have something in common despite being different, it just depends on what those differences are. Some differences, like introversion and extroversion are not as problematic in relationships as people tend to think, whereas differences over things like spending habits and cleanliness can be big problems.
I also think people who become friends are more similar to one another than they think. Your friends, regardless of their taste in music, movies, etc. are probably from a similar economic and social background because those are the people you meet on a regular basis and some of the people you meet will become your friends.
Case in point, I became friends with a gal after we met on POF just a few weeks after my 5 year relationship went south. I was in my first really bad *rebound* stage and so was she. We were both looking to fill that void for unhealthy reasons but Ironically, it turned into great friendship that she and I have benefited greatly from. We feed off eachother, especially considering we are both introverted personality types and share common interests and hobbies.
Whats ironic is that she's very diehard liberal and an athiest and im more conservative and Christian. We basically just don't get into discussions about religous or political topics and that helps keep the peace and friendship between us. Hell, we even became friends with benefits after a period of time *knuck knuck*
and in case my comments don't belong in this forum, I apologize, but it got me to thinking of my one and only real 'friendship' it seems. My friend was a co-worker which I shared a tremendous love/hate relationship with for 10 years. There were times I couldn't stand to look at her let alone admit I even knew
her name. Seems much easier now that I am 3,000 miles away in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, lol...
I ponder and worry that she is OK healthwise when I really acted like I could care less when we lived in
the same town. I send her patouli oil, her favorite, cuz I know (or have been told) she has no money for the finer things in life. She considers Patouli one of those finer things. Guilt or am I actually more like her
than I care to admit...don't know. Interesting...
Koale
I think its simply the fact that you are distancing yourself. Its fine like that, but when you see eachother too much then the flaws come out. I understand. I moved 600 miles to get closer to a married couple I met through work, but now that I am 5 miles away and see them often, its not so great.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I agree with it all...
