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I recently started hanging out with a new group of friends though a meetup website. Well I got to know one of the members pretty well and he seemed cool. We got to know each other and become friends. Well one day, I was down on my luck and I made a comment about not having much luck in the relationship department and he cheered me up as well as another friend and I really appreciated that. So my best friend went to go work out and he ran into them and this guy that I had met, makes a comment to my roommate that the ONLY reason that I am hanging out with this group of friends is because I am trying to just hook up with women and I only want one thing. Well he told a BUNCH of people and I got embarrassed and we almost had it out, but I told the guy that runs the meetup about it and he talked to him and I just quit going to meetings.
So I finally run into my friend that runs the meetups a month later and he told me that that guy just left the meetup, well went crazy said some stuff, got mad, and then left. So he's out, but the damage is done and I don't know how to do damage control. This is NOT the first time a guy has done this. Why do guys do this? I am looking for a serious relationship, not a fling. I don't see why I can't get that, and then hey I am off the market.
Another situation, I went to another meetup and there is this girl who is VERY abrasive. I try to ignore her, but last night I just wasn't having it and I saw an empty chair and I grabbed it. Well the chair belonged to someone, but she didn't say anything until like 10 mins later and her friend was sitting AND she knew it, so the girl gets on her knees at the table. I'm not efeing kidding, and then she was like hey give her the chair back and since I have back problems(and this girl knows) I was a little apprehensive and she started being rude well I snapped back(something I probably shouldn't have done) and then I was talking to this girl, well she whispers to the girl, not to talk to me, I did apologize to the girl that I took the chair from and then the rude girl whispers to her too! The big problem here is that I am having a get together at my house this weekend and I don't want that bs, but she already signed up for it. So how do I stop this from happening before she comes over here?
It just seems that I always have someone commenting about me in a negative way. Its so bad, I feel like I am cursed, have the evil eye...something! I am not kidding. I heard today how someone of my own students were saying stuff that I think I am all that, that I get a lot of girls and that I'm hard and bad ass. I never once told them that. The colleague of mine defended me saying well he is decent looking, is educated, has a good job. That's attractive to a lot of women. I just don't understand why I have so many freakin haters! Can anyone shed some light on this please? Am I at fault here?
If yes to both, people probably automatically think you're stuck on yourself, when in reality you're just not an extrovert. People assume a lot of (false) things just by looking at a person.
If yes to both, people probably automatically think you're stuck on yourself, when in reality you're just not an extrovert. People assume a lot of (false) things just by looking at a person.
I think im ok, maybe a 6, with girls it's hit or miss. Some think I'm cute, some don't. I do get the cute remark though sometimes, but even if I'm not outgoing, what does that have to do with people **** blocking me? I'm just kinda shy that's all.
I recently started hanging out with a new group of friends though a meetup website. Well I got to know one of the members pretty well and he seemed cool. We got to know each other and become friends. Well one day, I was down on my luck and I made a comment about not having much luck in the relationship department and he cheered me up as well as another friend and I really appreciated that. So my best friend went to go work out and he ran into them and this guy that I had met, makes a comment to my roommate that the ONLY reason that I am hanging out with this group of friends is because I am trying to just hook up with women and I only want one thing. Well he told a BUNCH of people and I got embarrassed and we almost had it out, but I told the guy that runs the meetup about it and he talked to him and I just quit going to meetings.
So I finally run into my friend that runs the meetups a month later and he told me that that guy just left the meetup, well went crazy said some stuff, got mad, and then left. So he's out, but the damage is done and I don't know how to do damage control. This is NOT the first time a guy has done this. Why do guys do this? I am looking for a serious relationship, not a fling. I don't see why I can't get that, and then hey I am off the market.
Another situation, I went to another meetup and there is this girl who is VERY abrasive. I try to ignore her, but last night I just wasn't having it and I saw an empty chair and I grabbed it. Well the chair belonged to someone, but she didn't say anything until like 10 mins later and her friend was sitting AND she knew it, so the girl gets on her knees at the table. I'm not efeing kidding, and then she was like hey give her the chair back and since I have back problems(and this girl knows) I was a little apprehensive and she started being rude well I snapped back(something I probably shouldn't have done) and then I was talking to this girl, well she whispers to the girl, not to talk to me, I did apologize to the girl that I took the chair from and then the rude girl whispers to her too! The big problem here is that I am having a get together at my house this weekend and I don't want that bs, but she already signed up for it. So how do I stop this from happening before she comes over here?
It just seems that I always have someone commenting about me in a negative way. Its so bad, I feel like I am cursed, have the evil eye...something! I am not kidding. I heard today how someone of my own students were saying stuff that I think I am all that, that I get a lot of girls and that I'm hard and bad ass. I never once told them that. The colleague of mine defended me saying well he is decent looking, is educated, has a good job. That's attractive to a lot of women. I just don't understand why I have so many freakin haters! Can anyone shed some light on this please? Am I at fault here?
I can't believe this was written by a man! I thought only girls obsessed over things like this. Why are you so concerned with what everyone is saying about you? None of it is even that bad. I mean, if they were saying that you're a date rapist or potential shooter, I'd be concerned. But this is all so incredibly petty that it sounds like a 10 year old girl wrote it. For example, the guy who said you can't find a relationship and that's why you're hanging out with the group. Who cares??? Why would you even think about damage control - what actual damage is there? True or not, it's not exactly something horrible for people to think. And what makes you think that people believed that anyway? And why would your friends repeat something like that to you in the first place?
When people repeat things that are said behind your back, that in itself is rude. I question not the speaker in that case, but the person who felt the need to report it to you. It's a little mean girl tactic. Shrug, says that's weird, and move on.
I mean, I'm a girl and we do gossip a lot and can be overly sensitive, but if I heard the things that you did even I would probably just shrug and wonder what's wrong with that other person. And you have students of some kind? And you actually know what they are saying about you and then even worse, you care?? It's all just weird. There is no problem here with "haters" - you just need to stop focusing on these petty things.
You are writing these situations from your point of view, which will not give an objective picture of the situation no matter how hard you try.
You must be giving off some vibe that turns people off, through your appearance, demeanor AND the things you talk about and the way you talk about them.
Here is what I can deduce from your presence on this forum.
Your posts are very insightful and intuitive, yet your username sounds like some WWA character. I have no idea what it means, obviously, but for you to get the "player" accusation from virtual strangers means that despite your inner self, you MUST be walking around like you think you are the sh*t.
I can't believe this was written by a man! I thought only girls obsessed over things like this. Why are you so concerned with what everyone is saying about you? None of it is even that bad. I mean, if they were saying that you're a date rapist or potential shooter, I'd be concerned. But this is all so incredibly petty that it sounds like a 10 year old girl wrote it. For example, the guy who said you can't find a relationship and that's why you're hanging out with the group. Who cares??? Why would you even think about damage control - what actual damage is there? True or not, it's not exactly something horrible for people to think. And what makes you think that people believed that anyway? And why would your friends repeat something like that to you in the first place?
When people repeat things that are said behind your back, that in itself is rude. I question not the speaker in that case, but the person who felt the need to report it to you. It's a little mean girl tactic. Shrug, says that's weird, and move on.
I mean, I'm a girl and we do gossip a lot and can be overly sensitive, but if I heard the things that you did even I would probably just shrug and wonder what's wrong with that other person. And you have students of some kind? And you actually know what they are saying about you and then even worse, you care?? It's all just weird. There is no problem here with "haters" - you just need to stop focusing on these petty things.
Why am I so concerned? Maybe it's because what they are saying is so bad, that it's actually causing people to not associate with me. I live in a small town and here reputation is EVERYTHING. Unless you have lived in that a place with that kind of mentality then you may not understand. Not saying I was a date rapist huh? That's funny since that REALLY has happened to me, and yes it sucks. I've been told that and one time a girl went around saying that I put my hands on women because I ticked her off and that is not true either.
You are getting it all wrong though, he's not saying I can't find a girlfriend. He is going up to the girls in the group and TELLING them, hey this guy is only after one thing, he's bad news and you should stay away. I THOUGHT he was my friend and obviously he is fake and this gets old since this is like the second or third time that this has happened already(different groups of people though). I found out because he was an idiot and told my best friend(I guess he forgot that we were friends).As for what actual damage is there, well to my reputation of course! Since this is such a small area, word does get around quick, and rumors no matter how untrue can be damaging to ones reputation here. I know it seems petty, but this is the only way that I have to meet people of the opposite sex and I want to be on the right foot and not be portrayed in a negative light, is that so bad?
You are writing these situations from your point of view, which will not give an objective picture of the situation no matter how hard you try.
You must be giving off some vibe that turns people off, through your appearance, demeanor AND the things you talk about and the way you talk about them.
Here is what I can deduce from your presence on this forum.
Your posts are very insightful and intuitive, yet your username sounds like some WWA character. I have no idea what it means, obviously, but for you to get the "player" accusation from virtual strangers means that despite your inner self, you MUST be walking around like you think you are the sh*t.
Am I really far off?
What's a WWA character? I think its because I am not talking to people like one person said. I actually told that to my roommate because he is shy and the way he carries himself is like he thinks he is the sh*t, but if you talk to him, he is the nicest, coolest, most down to earth person that I know. I am the same way, I went to that friend with actual relationship problems, maybe that made him mad. He is not good looking and maybe it's an insecurity on his part. I don't know. As for the user name, it was totally random.
You don't have to be "outspoken" in the negative sense. Ask questions. Laugh along with the group. Add a funny story along the way.
And just to clarify, ARE you there mainly to meet women?
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