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Old 04-20-2011, 11:33 AM
 
Location: southwest TN
8,224 posts, read 14,863,814 times
Reputation: 14977

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It isn't your problem and it isn't your issue. It most definitely is not your place to say anything to anyone. If your husband's parents aren't going to tell their daughter no or to watch her own children, there is NOTHING you can do about it. Mind your own business.

Your husband needs to grow up and tell his family that "my wife couldn't come". When pressed for why, he can say, "She had something else to do." It is none of their business. If he wants to start up a storm, he can say it's because of the deplorable condition of the house due to his sister raising her children the way she was (obviously) raised. I've been in situations where I was the bigger person and went to a family event I didn't want to - my husband's family that he refused to go.

One really doesn't have to answer every question posed. Sometimes a look says more.
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Old 04-20-2011, 12:05 PM
 
1,041 posts, read 1,310,205 times
Reputation: 762
Just say you don't want to see her or make excuses. My GF's sister has a boyfriend twice her age with troubled children and he treats her like dirt. I simply told her that I didn't want to be around these low class people and that I'd prefer if the kids didn't visit them too often.

At first, she tried to guilt me into going along with her by saying she couldn't go if I didn't, but eventually, she started going on her own. I will even drive her their if she needs to and I'll tell her sister I have to work on the weekend or something, just to make sure her sister doesn't think I'm trying to cut off her from my GF.

You could do something similar. Tell your husband's sister you have to keep the kids at home because they are struggling in school and they need to study or that they are sick...whatever. That way, no one will suspect you're trying to avoid them and your husband will be able to visit them on his own. It doesn't even have to be a lie. I'm sure you have a lot of things that are waiting to be done and not visiting your sister-in-law could be a nice opportunity to start doing them.

It's not complicated.

However, the part where she is parasiting her parents and being a deadbeat or whatever is not your problem. Before you try to tackle this issue with your husband, you should keep your opinions about his sister to yourself or preferably, have none. It's not your family.
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Old 04-20-2011, 01:09 PM
 
Location: colorado
2,788 posts, read 4,384,519 times
Reputation: 3314
Quote:
Originally Posted by willowtree22 View Post
Hi, I have been married now for 2 years. I love my husband to death.. I like his parents and his 2 brothers for the most part. BUT his SISTER is rediculous. She is so FAKE it is HORRIBLE. She is 25 yrs. old and has 4 KIDS!! and a DEAD-BEAT husband. SHe mouches off my husbands parents so bad that they are BROKE. SHE lets her kids go CRAZY at his parents house and NOT supervise them.. so basially pushes them on us to care for as she watches tv all day... She REFUSES to get a job.. she has a myspace page.. and is on it 24/7. Her kids yell, scream, fight, have distroyed his parents house... i mean crayon, markers all over the walls, chairs, candy melt to rugs spilled juice.. HORRIBLE. His parents want to best for the neices so they give and give and she TAKES and TAKES. I HATE HER i want to say something to her,,, but i bite my lips. I don't want to go see his parents anymore because it is a nightmare everytime we go and I get so stress out. WHat should i do?


Just be thankful she isn't allowed to do it at your house..You have to understand they are allowing her to do this..
Invite the grandparents to your house once in awhile..not with all the drama..not the kids only them..Tell them you have to limit your visits with them and be honest..wether they like it or not..they let her run all over them..not you.

Last edited by jeepgirl27; 04-20-2011 at 01:47 PM..
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