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I'm wondering to think if there must be something different about me. Most of my good friends are guys. Even my best friend is a guy. With women, it's like I have trouble finding good friends or most of them tried to compete with me in some way, the friendship doesn't last too long or I find myself having little in common with them.
I once had a fallout with my female friend Marnie and guy friend Josh. With Josh, we were already on talking terms again by the following week. However, with Marnie we haven't spoken for 1 year now and for something so stupid but I would speak if she stop it with the ''holding the forever grudge'' bs already.
Even during my childhood, I've always had trouble relating with girls. I would find myself playing with the boys most of the time. Not sure if anyone else has this problem but it would be cool if I found at least one best female friend that isn't into gossiping nor holding grudges over stupid stuff. Still can't believe that as a woman, I can't understand my own gender. I think there must be something I'm doing wrong. I don't have that problem with guys. It's like they are the ''easier to get along'' gender.
I'm wondering to think if there must be something different about me. Most of my good friends are guys. Even my best friend is a guy. With women, it's like I have trouble finding good friends or most of them tried to compete with me in some way, the friendship doesn't last too long or I find myself having little in common with them.
I once had a fallout with my female friend Marnie and guy friend Josh. With Josh, we were already on talking terms again by the following week. However, with Marnie we haven't spoken for 1 year now and for something so stupid but I would speak if she stop it with the ''holding the forever grudge'' bs already.
Even during my childhood, I've always had trouble relating with girls. I would find myself playing with the boys most of the time. Not sure if anyone else has this problem but it would be cool if I found at least one best female friend that isn't into gossiping nor holding grudges over stupid stuff. Still can't believe that as a woman, I can't understand my own gender. I think there must be something I'm doing wrong. I don't have that problem with guys. It's like they are the easier gender.
Maybe you should see a therapist. Or provide us some actual details. I've never had a friendship with another woman where we were competing with each other.
Why do you think your relationships with other women fizzle?
I have a lot of guy friends, and I'm pretty tomboyish. But I have just as many, if not more, female friends.
Maybe you should see a therapist. Or provide us some actual details. I've never had a friendship with another woman where we were competing with each other.
Apparently I'm having bad luck finding a good female friend. Right now I only have 2 girl friends but I don't get invited to their hang-outs that much and they have cut me off a bunch of times over the phone and messenger. They don't act like great friends I can trust either.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JrzDefector
Why do you think your relationships with other women fizzle?
Maybe we don't have too much in common, I'm boring, wrong women, or just having bad luck.
Have you tried apologizing to your friend? That might go a long way if you did something wrong. Other than that, I'm at odds with other females too, I've never felt like I fit in, and I grew up mostly around boys. Women can be so exclusive.
Maybe you should see a therapist. Or provide us some actual details. I've never had a friendship with another woman where we were competing with each other.
Why do you think your relationships with other women fizzle?
I have a lot of guy friends, and I'm pretty tomboyish. But I have just as many, if not more, female friends.
I thought something similar, I have noticed over the years that women who are very competitive (house, clothes, looks, children, golf score, whatever) with other females have few female friends. I have seen this with relatives and coworkers. Not sure if it's because no-one wants to be their friend, or if they like being the only female (no competition for the men's attention).
Or maybe it's another dynamic. Just my observations.....
I'm wondering to think if there must be something different about me. Most of my good friends are guys. Even my best friend is a guy. With women, it's like I have trouble finding good friends or most of them tried to compete with me in some way, the friendship doesn't last too long or I find myself having little in common with them.
I once had a fallout with my female friend Marnie and guy friend Josh. With Josh, we were already on talking terms again by the following week. However, with Marnie we haven't spoken for 1 year now and for something so stupid but I would speak if she stop it with the ''holding the forever grudge'' bs already.
Even during my childhood, I've always had trouble relating with girls. I would find myself playing with the boys most of the time. Not sure if anyone else has this problem but it would be cool if I found at least one best female friend that isn't into gossiping nor holding grudges over stupid stuff. Still can't believe that as a woman, I can't understand my own gender. I think there must be something I'm doing wrong. I don't have that problem with guys. It's like they are the ''easier to get along'' gender.
Why stress over it? If you have found that you vibe best with men, then so be it. If you truly want female friends, I suggest you look into meetup.com and join groups that YOU find interesting (with other like minded women). Not all of us are into gossiping or holding grudges. Just out of curiosity, how old are you?
I'm the same in a lot of ways. I've always been friends with more guys than girls. I have a few female friends that I love, so it's not that I can't be friends with women.
I feel overall that I miss social cues around other women that others seems to know naturally.
I've been this way a lot too - a lot of women, esp in groups can be catty and competitive, yes. But as you get older, it eases up. I can see your point, because I was/am still the same way - I prefer raunchy comedy movies, sports, talk like, etc and other things like guys. But I too am also tomboyish. I don't like having my hair/nails done, things like that either.
However, after time, if you can't maintain a friendship with a woman, then you are the common denominator and either you need to look in the mirror, or you need to just accept it and realize you'll never have a friendship with a woman. You can keep trying or give up. Maybe you need to branch out to where you are looking. But if you are dead set on the fact that "Oh I can't make friends with a woman", then likely you won't because you've already decided you can't.
Like Janeite, maybe there are social ques you are missing on. Or like me, it's just not as easy for you. I used to think the same thing, and I think a lot of us women do that; oh we can't make friends with women because "they" are hard to understand, and guys are just easy-going. We tend to make it seem like it's "their" problem without saying it out-right. But if you want to make female friends, you can treat other people how you want to be treated and keep trying, branch out to where you are looking, and don't give up. I would also look at meet-up groups based on interest. A hiking group might be good, versus a club for example.
Keep an open-mind, it can't be impossible unless something is going on. Not every woman is a catty, competitive person; and to apply such a crazy blanket statement to one half of the world's population is insane.
Keep an open-mind, it can't be impossible unless something is going on. Not every woman is a catty, competitive person; and to apply such a crazy blanket statement to one half of the world's population is insane.
Yeah, this is a good way to not make female friends. When I hear women make statements about how women are bitchy and hold grudges I assume they're just like men who make statements like that - not people I want to hang around with.
I thought something similar, I have noticed over the years that women who are very competitive (house, clothes, looks, children, golf score, whatever) with other females have few female friends.
Not sure if it's because no-one wants to be their friend, or if they like being the only female (no competition for the men's attention).
This has been my experience with women who only had male friends as well. They wanted to be the center of attention without feeling the need to compete with other women for it. Doesn't mean there was competition but they wanted to eliminate any fear of it because typically they had low self esteem.
Low self esteem and they surrounded themselves with men who will boost their ego and treat them special without any threats in the way.
If they had women friends, they would NOT be treated the same and not get the "fix" they are searching for to make themselves feel in control and special.
Typically when I hear a women say she only has male friends, it's a red flag that there is a problem.
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