My brother needs $3500 to turn the power back on! (holidays, wife, issues)
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First of all how does all of your family and friends know you got this money if you did not tell them? If I came into a ton of money I would tell NO ONE. I would not hand out money to anyone. Now I'd take my kids on some nice vacations and buy them things they would want or need. I have never had any family member help me (not that I have ever asked because I haven't). I doubt I would have people coming out of the woodwork because no one would know.
If you live in a small town type area, these types of things have a way of getting around quickly regardless of who you tell or don't.
I have done quite well for myself and so has my wife.
We have had the slacker side of both of our families approach us over the years with pleads for financial assistance.
Whether they deserved the money or not we gave them more than what they were asking for but with a caveat.
They can't approach us for money ever again.
Many did not believe us when we told that to them in a frank matter of fact way.
Quite a few have asked for more money and we simply remind them of the conditions that they accepted the financial gift from us previously.
Some of them became quite angry. I then told them they made the deal and they must accept it with no amendments.
It's their problem not ours.
We did our part, it was not our fault that they spent their money on rope to hang their financial selves with at a later date instead of being prudent with what we gave them.
I agree generally that you don't owe anyone anything. And I do think that just giving people money is a mistake. Humans are crazy animals and often even just giving money and being generous will cause resentment. But being a little generous and kind is usually a good thing, especially with a windfall.
If there are some truly hard luck stories among the closer relatives, i.e. children with medical conditions and bills or perhaps a genius at something kid who needs some support to use his genius (uh, like a budding tiger woods who needs golf lessons or music lessons) or imminent loss of housing due to loss of job for medical condition, a parent with alzheimers who needs to be in a home.................
I would (1) trust but verify (2) pay some money directly to the bills, quietly. And quietly let it be known that its a one time proposition. No running out and buying new cars or boats despite more medical or other problems on the horizon because you are some new bank.
Oprah I think finally had to do that. She gave everyone who was constantly coming to her with hands out a very big lump sum and said, its on you. Use it wisely or not. Don't come back.
Of course later you will find out who is real and who is not and who you would help no matter what because you want to.
It would make me very happy to be able to help my family so I would. I would not, however, extend that help to my children. They'll inherit whatever I have left when I die and, IMO, will benefit from making their own way in life. I would help brohters and sisters and even aunts and uncles (If my parents were alive, I'd help them too.).
I'd help everyone out if I could, as long as they weren't jerks. And I'd definitely set my kids up for life. Don't understand at all why so many would have their kids get out and have to make their own way in the world. Nuts to that. Work sucks.
If you have a choice in which state you purchase your lottery tickets which would be life changing (if you should win), wouldn't it be prudent to buy them in a state that allows anonymity? Does anybody know of a list somewhere of states that allow this? I do a little travelling and go into a lot of neighboring states, and DC, that sell the same Mega Millions or Powerball tickets. I don't think Maryland allows anonymity, but I am pretty sure Delaware does. Or at least they used to back in 2009 when someone bought a ticket worth 45M in cash and remained anonymous.
Quite a few have asked for more money and we simply remind them of the conditions that they accepted the financial gift from us previously.
Some of them became quite angry. I then told them they made the deal and they must accept it with no amendments.
It's their problem not ours.
Same for us. Actually, i've had folks get angry at me when I demand they sign a promissary note or ask for collatoral, even a small token for a fraction of the loaned value.
Them: "Awl man why you making it so serious "
Me: "Well, why am I the only one who has money for you to borrow?"
I'd help everyone out if I could, as long as they weren't jerks. And I'd definitely set my kids up for life. Don't understand at all why so many would have their kids get out and have to make their own way in the world. Nuts to that. Work sucks.
Laying around doing nothing isn't good for someone, work is good, work keeps your mind sharper. I've known too many people who had nothing to do 24-7, day after day ends up being the same and I suspect that's why they got addicted to drugs, just to ease the boredom.
UPDATE: He and his family are still living in the dark. My brother called me and made an appeal for the money himself. He was so nice and friendly until I gave him a list of things he would have to give me for me to even consider giving him that type of money. He then got angry and shouted JUST SEND ME THE MONEY! I stated he needed to send me his budget, paycheck stubs, credit report, utility bills, etc. and he just blew up, called me a few choice names and hung up. Now my dad is calling again asking for the money for him saying it is for the kids not him.
Tell your dad if it's for the kids, then he (your dad) should have the kids move in with him, until your brother can get back on his feet.
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