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Old 06-12-2013, 06:42 PM
 
Location: La Jolla, CA
7,284 posts, read 16,640,397 times
Reputation: 11675

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Quote:
Originally Posted by HumanNature View Post
My brother is in financial trouble and now he needs $3500 to turn the power back on in his home.
...
Do I really owe it to him to bail him out again because he is family and my wife and I have money?
No. The more you give, the more he'll probably take. And he'll take it until you don't have any more money.

 
Old 06-12-2013, 06:43 PM
 
1,484 posts, read 2,255,298 times
Reputation: 2553
Tell them you did not really get that money it was a mistake.
STOP telling people when you get money!
 
Old 06-12-2013, 06:47 PM
 
Location: Corona the I.E.
10,137 posts, read 17,437,588 times
Reputation: 9139
My family are mainly compulsive spending sponges so I said the phrase "Sorry can't help you" about a 100 times and that about did it.
 
Old 06-12-2013, 07:05 PM
 
12,973 posts, read 15,762,680 times
Reputation: 5478
Many of you see these issue with more clarity than I do.

Too many unknowns. Is it just a brother? Or brother and spouse and 6 kids. Is 3500 a substantial sum to you or does it mean taking two days off the next vacation?

Does family dynamics require help regardless of suitablity?

No one can help you with these...but be careful. The ones inflicted may be on you as well as the brother...

And all the know-it-all "Be responsible for your own behavior" types are pushing their social views rather than good sense. Sometimes you do dumb things for the long term good.
 
Old 06-12-2013, 07:06 PM
 
Location: Pennsylvania
30,368 posts, read 16,094,682 times
Reputation: 44156
Not sure if anyone has suggested this (I don't want to wade through 4 pages-sorry) but IF you feel the need to help (and I say if because not sure if you should-it's not just him, it's 5 kids) give the money to the utility company. Don't expect it back. He won't/can't repay you.

if there's some financial strain going on (medical bills or whatever) I'd say try to help. If it's just poor money management, probably not.
 
Old 06-12-2013, 08:40 PM
 
Location: Tri-State Area
2,942 posts, read 5,996,435 times
Reputation: 1839
No! Under zero obligation, if they weren't there for you when times were rough or even if they were there for you, it's not like you or them signed a contract stating "when you strike it rich, you will share x percent" - so the answer is none.

Now for those who climbed their slimy selves out from under the rock, direct them to the nearest sewer system hatch so they can go back home.
 
Old 06-12-2013, 08:50 PM
 
Location: Corona the I.E.
10,137 posts, read 17,437,588 times
Reputation: 9139
If they were cold tell them to pound sand.
 
Old 06-12-2013, 08:51 PM
 
4,862 posts, read 7,945,756 times
Reputation: 5763
What if you earned it by your sweat and tears? There's a different mindset between earned and found money. People who earn it know the value.. Found money really has no personal equity involved so it's really not respected beyond it just being money. That's why we hear of people squandering money when they win a lotto.

As always do nothing for 6 months and speak with a financial professional you trust.
 
Old 06-12-2013, 08:57 PM
 
651 posts, read 860,380 times
Reputation: 320
you don't owe anyone anything. Do what makes YOU feel good about yourself.
 
Old 06-12-2013, 09:11 PM
 
Location: TN/NC
34,938 posts, read 31,079,407 times
Reputation: 47319
Unless you had some contractual agreement with a party, you don't "owe" them anything. If you had a "gentleman's agreement" with another party that would be paid upon the death, I'd honor it.

I would do things in this order as finances permit.

1) Pay off all debt including your home, if you own one. Once all debt is paid off, you can save a lot more money, assuming your lifestyle stays the same. A fully funded EF will come quickly with no house payment, no car payment, etc.

2) If money remains, hoard it for what you'd think you'd need to maintain your lifestyle in retirement.

3) If money is left over after you think you've fully funded retirement, I'd sock at least another $100k away for medical expenses, if possible.

4) If you feel that you've fully funded retirement and any possible medical expenses, and have paid off all debt, feel free to be charitable as you choose. There is no reason to be charitable before you, the intended recipient, are taken of.
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