'The ongoing tragedy of creep-shaming' (member, sister, wives, definition)

[NilaJones]

Yes, I have been reading through Hugo Schwyzer's blog .

Here's what he has to say on a topic that comes up here, every day or so:

Why Guys Really Hate Being Called 'Creepy'

Mod cut: Inappropriate language. Here's a link to the article. Why Guys Really Hate Being Called 'Creepy'

I added the bolding, lest his most interesting point get lost in the verbiage .

[Idon'tdateyou]

Maybe if these men stopped acting creepy then they wouldn't be called creepy. I only call men creepy who are, like the men who became clingy or the ones who wouldn't take no for an answer, or the stalkers.

[tigerwoodsyall]

That guy is the biggest ***** ever lol

[TheEarthBeneathMe]

I think if lots of women are calling you a creep, you might want to examine why and possibly change your behavior.

Mod cut: Circumventing language filter.

[Ascension2012]

Haha, what a bunch of gibberish nonsense. I have one request though, could someone, for the love of god, define the word "creepy" and ask all sisterhood to use it with that definition in mind? Because the way its used today, it means "any action or words spoken during an approach, by a man i do not find desirable". I swear that creepy behavior magicaly becomes tight game, when the guy who approaches is charming, handsome and witty.

[JerZ]

Originally Posted by Ascension2012

Haha, what a bunch of gibberish nonsense. I have one request though, could someone, for the love of god, define the word "creepy" and ask all sisterhood to use it with that definition in mind? Because the way its used today, it means "any action or words spoken during an approach, by a man i do not find desirable". I swear that creepy behavior magicaly becomes tight game, when the guy who approaches is charming, handsome and witty.

Erm, if he's charming and witty, he's not creepy. He's charming and witty.

No magic involved here. If he's charming, then he's not engaging in "creepy behavior."

[Montguy]

It's never really occurred to me to describe a woman who violates my boundaries as "creepy", but I'll have to remember it in the future. Hopefully she'll thereafter feel provoked to reflect on how she makes people feel and disprove my charge of creepiness by fundamentally altering her behavior to be more genuinely respectful of men.

[JerZ]

Originally Posted by Montguy

It's never really occurred to me to describe a woman who violates my boundaries as "creepy", but I'll have to remember it in the future. Hopefully she'll thereafter feel provoked to reflect on how she makes people feel and disprove my charge of creepiness by fundamentally altering her behavior to be more genuinely respectful of men.

I know you're being facetious, but women CAN be creepy. I've heard of some pretty hair-raising stalkerish behavior. And yes. Such individuals absolutely should "reflect on how (they) make people feel" etc. Intrusiveness is intrusiveness.

[stepka]

A couple of examples of what I think of as a creep:

One day I was driving to my g-ma's with my 4 mo old dd that I was breastfeeding at the time. I needed to stop and feed her, and didn't want to do it in public so I pulled off on a dirt road, thinking I'd be alone. Big mistake--within 5 minutes after I got her latched on, a man came out of the woods and came over to see what was going on and tried to start a conversation with me, while at the same time trying to not be too obvious about seeing what that baby had her lips latched onto. My car was a stickshift and I was trying to figure out how to get the car started and going down the road w/o doing anything to signal my intentions, like taking her off the breast. Fortunately he got the message that I wasn't into conversation at that point and ambled off down the road and I breathed a big sigh of relief and stuck to the McD's parking lot after that.

I was 17 and a waitress at IHOP. It was the nightshift and my best friend had popped in and an older man who was probably in his fifties and obese came over and nudged me and said, "Who's your friend over there with the wild eyes?"

Men who ogle me openly while out with their wives. Ugh--they're just looking for validation--has nothing to do with how I look.

What I don't consider a creep--men who start a decent conversation while out and about. They keep it light and friendly and don't try to pick up every woman they meet--or don't make it obvious anyway.

So, creepers are men whose intentions are not pure. That's it.

[Montguy]

Originally Posted by JerZ

I know you're being facetious, but women CAN be creepy. I've heard of some pretty hair-raising stalkerish behavior. And yes. Such individuals absolutely should "reflect on how (they) make people feel" etc. Intrusiveness is intrusiveness.

No, not facetious--I take genuine issue with the author's deconstruction of so-called "creep-shaming", and I decided to paraphrase the conclusion in order to allude to a non-trivial issue, which is, as you acknowledge, the occasional creepiness of horny women (who, by the way, are much less likely to face legal repercussions if they go so far as to physically assault a man in a sexual/violent way).