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Old 06-28-2013, 03:08 PM
 
9,238 posts, read 22,842,854 times
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It seems to me that more and more people are becoming more and more exhibitionistic, sharing details of their lives publicly or randomly, without being asked. When I first became acquainted with online social media, I figured these exhibitionists were mainly younger people, people in their teens and 20s. But now I'm seeing it from more people my age (mid-40s) and even older. Today's technology, of course, makes this "revealing of oneself" easier, but there are people who did this stuff even before social media was invented (the insert into the Christmas card example below, for example).




Examples:
  • People who Tweet or post on Facebook that they're at this store or that restaurant [Who do they imagine even cares that they just stopped into Sally's Coffee Shop or Lee's Dry Cleaners?]
  • People who post on Facebook their very personal feelings or reactions to some incident or interpersonal drama [Sometimes these feelings are pretty intense and should be kept private, but they seem to want an audience, even when what they are posting seems pretty embarrassing]
  • People who include in their Christmas cards a long typed-up summary of all the things they and their kids did all year--had a biopsy in February, vacationed in Vegas in March, took a couple's cooking class in April, went to girl scout camp with DD in June, bought a new car in July, redecorated the den in September, had a surprise 50th birthday party for Bob in October, went on another trip to Boston in November... [Why do they believe we care about all those things?]
  • People who have online diaries/journals [Seems like public masturbation to me]
  • People who post tons of pictures online of themselves or of their kids [Look at me! look at me! look at my kids! Wait! Look at ME again!]
  • People who don't mind posting tons of pictures of themselves and their families, showing the interior of their homes [Hey burglars, here's where I live, and here's the stuff I have! Oh, and since I just posted about my upcoming vacation, you know I'll be away all next week]
  • People who appear on reality-TV shows, or who dream of appearing on one [I would never desire to be on a trashy one, but I can't even imagine wanting to appear on the educational ones]
  • People who see a newscaster and news van, and run up to make sure they appear on camera [It means so much to me that strangers all over the greater metropolitan area see my face on local TV!]
  • People who post when they've bought an item on Amazon or another store online [Oh look, Ned just bought a Rufus box set, a book on overcoming impotence, and some Breathe-Rite Strips! Hooray!]
  • People who post revealing pictures of themselves online, or who put themselves on webcam to do sexual acts for strangers. [Um...]
Now I tend to be a very private person, so I admit that I'm not in the "average" range. I tend to consider some things very personal that others might think are fine to share with co-workers or people in line at the food store. But apart from my extreme in the other direction, I really think that some people are extremely exhibitionistic, revealing way too much about their personal lives. And it's not just targeted to specific recipients, but seemingly random revealing of oneself.

Sexual exhibitionism would probably be an extreme example, and it's probably the "classic" definition of exhibitionism. But revealing one's deep personal feelings and problems is really just as bad. Some of this "revealing" opens people up to crimes like ID theft, burglary, sexual assault, child molestation, as people just indiscriminately share all this personal stuff without a care in the world.

Do you do any of the above things? Do you know others who do? What do you think the motivation is? What payoff do they get from doing it? Do they think about how the audience will perceive them? Do they think the audience/recipients care? Why?

The knee-jerk answer might be "it's just narcissism," but I think that might be too simplistic, and it doesn't cover the people who seem to desperately reveal themselves all the time and have a very low or unstable self esteem. Another guess might be that the person gets "addicted" to self-revelation, because it releases endorphins or serotonin or something. Or maybe the person derives psychosexual pleasure from revealing him/herself, even in a non-sexual way. I have some other ideas about a psychological motivation for this, but I wanted to hear some other people's ideas first.

Are you more like me? Or are you somewhere in the middle of the continuum of exhibitionist vs. "extremely private"? What makes us different from the social exhibitionists? It can't be just fear or "healthy paranoia"--I still would not reveal all that info about myself, even if it was guaranteed that the government or criminals could never use it to harm me. It can't be that us private people have a low self-esteem and don't feel "worthy" of exhibiting ourselves.

Please share your thoughts, and/or examples of people being extremely exhibitionistic.
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Old 06-28-2013, 03:27 PM
 
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Meh, I agree with most of what you said, but I DO tweet my locations when it is something out of the ordinary. Weirdly, I do it as a record for myself. I have a terrible memory and I like to look back months later to see where I was, what I did and who I was with. It brings back good memories, and I can't do that without a mental trigger.
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Old 06-28-2013, 03:51 PM
 
9,238 posts, read 22,842,854 times
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Oh, I can see the sense of that. That's kind of how I use my day planner or Outlook calendar, to reminded myself of places I've gone, meetings I've attended, etc. But then again, those things aren't public.
Do you ever wonder about what other people think when you tweet your location? Like wondering if they're saying "Ugh, Zentropa is bragging" or "why does Zentropa think I care where she is?" Or do you just not think about it, because you're tweeting it for your own memory?
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Old 06-28-2013, 03:53 PM
 
9,238 posts, read 22,842,854 times
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Ooh, just thought of another example after reading another thread:
People who have loud cell phone conversations in public, often of a very personal nature.
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Old 06-28-2013, 04:05 PM
 
6,039 posts, read 6,035,274 times
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There's something about 'selfies', pictures people take of themselves, that really really bothers me. Somewhat irrational, to be sure, but still...
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Old 06-28-2013, 04:48 PM
 
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I don't think modest pictures of friends and family are necessarily exhibitionistic. Sometimes it's for the benefit of Grandma and other loved ones. I love seeing pics on Facebook and elsewhere of my baby cousins as they grow up. And a lot of the sharing is catching up with lots of people at once. People used to talk on the phone about what they did this weekend, little Johnny's latest exploits and accomplishments, etc. I don't think this happens so much anymore. Now it's on Facebook. Some of it may be bragging, but lots of it is innocent, IMO. As far as sharing all of one's deepest, darkest secrets on a public blog under one's own name when one is 45 years old, I admit that it is a bit odd.
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Old 06-28-2013, 04:59 PM
 
Location: On the Edge of the Fringe
7,583 posts, read 6,052,104 times
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I got off Facebook for the very reasons the OP mentioned. I got tired of people posting on facebook mindless things like
"I am at the grocery store buying cat food" and then 38 people like this in response.

When I am at the grocery store, I am sure not on my phone posting what I am doing, or taking pictures of myself doing it.
What I am doing, BTW is making conversation with the people in line around me, smiling at people (Which, BTW People actually LIKE!) or paying compliments. I seriously made one lady's wait in line Very pleasant by complimenting her clothing. She seemed beyond happy that someone would take time to pay her a compliment. Which, By the way, I did not notice much on facebook.
People too busy seeking attention themselves by telling the story about how they got home, and the discovered that the cat had poo'd all over the floor instead....
Has our society become so shallow that we cannot have casual conversation with people around us, and say and do nice things for people, without expecting hundreds of people to like us on facebook ?
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Old 06-28-2013, 06:15 PM
 
Location: At the Lake (in Texas)
2,317 posts, read 2,551,557 times
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I think it stems from a current climate of people wanting "fame"...we (our country in particular) worship celebrity, and social media has opened a venue for ordinary people to at least "feel" famous...same with reality television.
As a person who at one time longed for fame and fortune myself, I have seen "fame" become cheap...easy to attain not by talent but by, perhaps flashing your lack of panties, or something similar...so that now, to me, the more attractive goal is to remain anonymous because celebrity has become to easy to attain and has been cheapened so much...however, many people do not feel the same way and their use of social media fulfils their perhaps unacknowledged desire to be known by many....
Just my opinion anyway...
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Old 06-28-2013, 06:17 PM
 
Location: At the Lake (in Texas)
2,317 posts, read 2,551,557 times
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And yes, I agree it is crazy to post details of where you live and when you will be gone, or photos of your children and where they go to school, etc. Just sets one up to be victimized...insane.
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Old 06-28-2013, 06:36 PM
 
22,284 posts, read 21,662,335 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TracySam View Post
Oh, I can see the sense of that. That's kind of how I use my day planner or Outlook calendar, to reminded myself of places I've gone, meetings I've attended, etc. But then again, those things aren't public.
Do you ever wonder about what other people think when you tweet your location? Like wondering if they're saying "Ugh, Zentropa is bragging" or "why does Zentropa think I care where she is?" Or do you just not think about it, because you're tweeting it for your own memory?
Nah...because my friends are actually my friends. They like me and want me to enjoy myself. I have had a tough year, so people like to know I am doing ok and getting out with others and living life. I usually get comments along the lines of "wish I was there with you!" Or "have a drink on me!"

I feel the same about them. It is nice to see people having fun. I never think anyone is bragging.
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