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I have this same problem I have no friends as a child my dad never allowed us to even play with other like girls now its hard for me to trust anyone and I don't like the feeling....................
Try volunteering - help with the local animal rescue group or help old people or help people learn to read, etc. Stop thinking of yourself not having friends and just get out there and DO something.
I wish I had more friends also - it is hard for me to make new friends but I am trying. Don't give up!
I'm a early-middle aged guy and looking back on my life, I've noticed that I've never really kept or had any close friends. I have no problem meeting people and interacting on a superficial level, but it seems after a while I either annoy people, or other people really annoy me and I can't be around them. Because of this, my close friend count is about 0. There are a few people that I've known for several years (5-10 years) and I may see them every couple of months for lunch, etc. But, looking through Facebook, I see old high school people who seem to keep in touch with other high school people after all of these years. With me, I'm friends with a bunch of them on Facebook, but I don't hang out with any of them, not a single one.
I'm curious if anyone else has this issue? Am I alone in this? Helpful advice (besides "don't annoy people)?
I actually feel very similar to you. I can only think of 2 people other than family that I would call for anything right now. I think I somehow annoy people and they don't want anything to do with me (curse of the family says my dad lol) or some people just annoy me. I'm also friends with a lot of school 'friends' on Facebook and notice the same thing about them keeping in touch versus me. To be honest, I usually keep busy, so I don't think about it as much. Once fall starts, I'm usually doing my own thing and going out that I don't really care. I have no problem being solo sometimes either. I guess I also have a close relationship to my family, so that probably helps.
I know it is because of everything I have been through. I have a lot of trust issues and I believe that makes it hard for me to keep a friend. I have been taking my daughter to the park a lot and two ladies gave me their number. I still haven't called them. I am now wondering if it is too late. My daughter has been urging me to call the girls mother but I am still reluctant. I know I should give it a shot but when I think about it I get anxiety's over thinking about all the bad that could happen if I get close to them. Do you think four days is too late to call another mother to set up a play date or something???? And what would I talk about?? I tend to talk to much when I am nervous. Help me please!! I don't want my daughter to have the same issues I have.
I know it is because of everything I have been through. I have a lot of trust issues and I believe that makes it hard for me to keep a friend. I have been taking my daughter to the park a lot and two ladies gave me their number. I still haven't called them. I am now wondering if it is too late. My daughter has been urging me to call the girls mother but I am still reluctant. I know I should give it a shot but when I think about it I get anxiety's over thinking about all the bad that could happen if I get close to them. Do you think four days is too late to call another mother to set up a play date or something???? And what would I talk about?? I tend to talk to much when I am nervous. Help me please!! I don't want my daughter to have the same issues I have.
It is not too late to call one of the mothers. What to talk about? The kids, schools, vacation plans, try to find out if you share any of the same interests (ie., shopping, sports, community events). Just suggestions. Try to really listen and pick up on what the other person is talking about.
I think there are many of us out there who lack the friendships we'd like to have. Having faced social rejection since age 4, I understand the pain that comes with it. My husband is my friend and I have a couple what I'd refer to as *casual* girlfriends. My son is like me but seems to be happy with just his wife and has no friends. He had buddies in school but he was the one who failed to keep in touch with them. My adult nephew is like me and my son, basically a recluse. I've been reading on Facebook now about all the high school graduation parties that almost everyone attended in my class--I didn't even *know* about the parties!When I was growing up, my mother actually *paid* to have a classmate or two come with us on short summer vacations. Thank you for you post--you are not alone.
I'm a early-middle aged guy and looking back on my life, I've noticed that I've never really kept or had any close friends. I have no problem meeting people and interacting on a superficial level, but it seems after a while I either annoy people, or other people really annoy me and I can't be around them. Because of this, my close friend count is about 0. There are a few people that I've known for several years (5-10 years) and I may see them every couple of months for lunch, etc. But, looking through Facebook, I see old high school people who seem to keep in touch with other high school people after all of these years. With me, I'm friends with a bunch of them on Facebook, but I don't hang out with any of them, not a single one.
I'm curious if anyone else has this issue? Am I alone in this? Helpful advice (besides "don't annoy people)?
You sound like me. Advice like "don't annoy" people doesn't help because we don't usually know *what* we are doing to annoy! I'm glad you shared your post because there are probably more like us than you'd think. Even if married, we can feel the absence of same sex friends intensely. However, I think we may be more "comfortable in our own skin" sometimes and don't *need* to be with someone else all the time unlike some folks. Sorry I can offer no advice but hope you'll find comfort in knowing you are not alone. Someone once said, "If you can't stand to be by yourself, then others will find you boring, too."
djxpress, so I assume you're about in your early 40s. I'm almost there myself!
I could have written your post precisely! It's actually VERY hard for me to meet people. With me, it's mostly through work because I'm not out & about that much. I go to the gym or the mall sometimes in which I'm alone, so it's hard to just start talking to a stranger there & actually talk about hanging out or something.
When I look back on my life, the people I've actually known all have their group of friends already, so they don't really care to get to know me. I don't know what it's like to be a part of a group of friends (or entourage as they say). I have a few people who are a bit more than just acquaintances, yet I wouldn't call them close friends by any means. I don't talk on the phone with anyone. I just meet up with someone for lunch every 5-8 months, like you. One or two, we seem to just meet up once a year, usually in the summertime.
Thank God I've had a longtime significant other. I've always had an SO pretty much since I've been 18, so that helps when you don't have friends. When I date, I'm usually in in for the long haul where it could lead to marriage if everything's good. I'm not the serial dater type, going from one person to the next.
I'm also an only child, so I'm used to solitude. It would be nice to have at least 2 close friends though! Oh well.
Personally, I do not mind acquaintances provided it is quick friendly safe conversation, nothing personal. As far as sitting on the phone or hanging out I am not interested.
Once you give your # to someone then they want to hang out, go out all the time, show up at your house unannounced; when the relationship goes sour then they will tell all of the things you told them in confidence.
I have no interest in that, I like doing things when I want to do them, come and go as I please, most times I enjoy being a home body and spending time with my dog. I hope now that I am working I can purchase a house down the line so that I can take in rescues.
I have this same problem I have no friends as a child my dad never allowed us to even play with other like girls now its hard for me to trust anyone and I don't like the feeling....................
I am an only child so my play was limited to my cousins who lived around the corner from my grandmother's house...and thats when/if they wanted to be bothered with me. I have attempted to be friends with other women in the past but as it turned out they were either talking about me behind my back, trying to screw my significant other and/or telling him they knew someone he could look better with. I am polite, will speak to other women but as far as going for bff status, that's for the birds. I prefer to be friends with men (not sexual), and I have been friends with this guy since high school its like a brother/sister relationship.
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