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Old 07-20-2013, 01:49 AM
 
Location: Earth
438 posts, read 560,601 times
Reputation: 2938

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I am having a hard time dealing with friends that drink. It is very rare for me to drink and I am uncomfortable around a lot of drinking. I try to remember that it is a disease but it is hard to deal with the reality that a few of my friends are alcoholics. I have stopped dealing with one of them because of alcohol related behavior.

Yesterday a friend showed up at my house to go for a routine walk we do most nights. She was not sober and drove over. She could not walk straight and I said something to her about drinking and driving. I was very calm. I reminded her that we had a discussion once before and I told her I would call her on drinking and driving if I saw that kind of behavior.

Today I was her punching bag. It wasn't what she said but the energy behind it that hurt.

I am very sad about this.
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Old 07-20-2013, 06:41 AM
 
3,752 posts, read 9,606,989 times
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AA has a program for the friends and family of alcoholics. It is a great program and will teach you how to set boundaries and deal with the issue.

Highly recommend you go. A friend needed it to learn how to "help" her daughter without enabling her.
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Old 07-20-2013, 07:03 AM
 
2,496 posts, read 2,532,653 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetana3 View Post
AA has a program for the friends and family of alcoholics. It is a great program and will teach you how to set boundaries and deal with the issue.

Highly recommend you go. A friend needed it to learn how to "help" her daughter without enabling her.
This. You either cut ties with the drunks and develop healthier friendships, or, if you find yourself unable to do that, go to Al-Anon.

Me? I preferred to eliminate drunks from my life.
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Old 07-20-2013, 07:27 AM
 
Location: In my skin
9,048 posts, read 14,325,586 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by branDcalf View Post
This. You either cut ties with the drunks and develop healthier friendships, or, if you find yourself unable to do that, go to Al-Anon.

Me? I preferred to eliminate drunks from my life.
That pretty much sums it up. I learned that lesson myself.

I think people tolerate alcohol abuse more because alcohol is legal. People are more likely to kick a crack head or a meth addict to the curb, but alcohol destroys lives and families all the time. I don't see much of a difference anymore.
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Old 07-20-2013, 11:40 AM
 
12,886 posts, read 15,438,852 times
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I stay away from people who drink to excess...too unpredictable, and I don't like how it changes them
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Old 07-20-2013, 04:38 PM
 
Location: Earth
438 posts, read 560,601 times
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I am very familiar with all the A's.

I have no problem setting boundaries. And keeping them.

I wasn't asking for advice. I was expressing my sadness over seeing another friend in such a state.

I have known her for 13 years and she just started drinking about a year ago. She drank mostly at night when I wasn't around her. But she has just recently started drinking earlier.

I do not tolerate alcohol abuse at all when it interfere with my life. Which means I will have to end this relationship as I did the last one. I am not willing to have alcohol be a part of my life.
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Old 07-20-2013, 05:06 PM
 
Location: earth?
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How did she get home?
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Old 07-20-2013, 05:43 PM
 
Location: Earth
438 posts, read 560,601 times
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She drove home after I told her I thought she was sober enough to drive.
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Old 07-20-2013, 06:43 PM
 
Location: CO/UT/AZ/NM Catch me if you can!
4,743 posts, read 4,373,175 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by laughing traveler View Post
I wasn't asking for advice. I was expressing my sadness over seeing another friend in such a state.
Well, then. I'm sorry for both you and your friend. Hope she sobers up sooner rather than later and good on you for making sure she was OK to drive home.
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Old 07-20-2013, 07:48 PM
 
Location: NYC
355 posts, read 331,950 times
Reputation: 216
at first I thought you were being super uptight and judgemental

but it sounds like your friend really legitimately has a problem
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