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Old 11-10-2007, 10:17 AM
 
Location: NE Florida
9,362 posts, read 22,334,554 times
Reputation: 9263

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A friend is facing surgery and will be in the hospital for a couple of days. She doesn't want to tell her family, as she doesn't want them all hanging out concerned and negative beside her bed. She just wants to go in, have it done and be left alone until it's time to return home.

However, since she is a single mom, she will have to rely on them to take care of her kids, so she must disclose where she will be. She wouldn't mind having her kids in the room, just doesn't want the grandmother and other relatives around.

What can I suggest to her? I am not able to take her kids, so would like to give her some ideas on dealing with her family.
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Old 11-10-2007, 10:43 AM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
16,469 posts, read 33,412,913 times
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Can she say that she is needed by an out of town old former schoolmate?
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Old 11-10-2007, 11:02 AM
 
2,432 posts, read 6,003,319 times
Reputation: 1009
I'd recommend she be very honest and open with her family up front. Surgery is very, very serious, even mild surgical procedures. Ninety-thousand people a year in the US catch an infection while they are in the hospital and die from it. That means they catch and die from an infection that they didn't have when they signed into the hospital. And 90 thousand is just the number of people who DIE from an infection they pickup in the hospital, not the total number who catch a serious infection and survive.


Safety of Our US Hospitals


WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Hospital practices are more to blame than how sick a person is for infections acquired by hospital patients, researchers reported on Monday, urging medical centers to do more to curb these infections.

The US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention last month estimated that infections caught in US hospitals kill 90,000 people annually and urged hospitals to do more to track and prevent the infections.


Even if everything goes as smooth as possible her family could become very upset at the fact she went in for something this serious and didn't tell them. It could make things much worse than they already are.
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Old 11-10-2007, 01:16 PM
 
Location: New Mexico
631 posts, read 2,104,535 times
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She will have to sign a permission form to allow phone calls and visitors.

Explain to the family where she will be going and they can ck. in for progress with the nurses, but she does not want to be disturbed while going thru it and recovering other than her children to see her.
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Old 11-10-2007, 01:44 PM
 
Location: In the sunshine on a ship with a plank
3,413 posts, read 7,833,178 times
Reputation: 2214
Quote:
Originally Posted by keeperk View Post
She will have to sign a permission form to allow phone calls and visitors.

Explain to the family where she will be going and they can ck. in for progress with the nurses, but she does not want to be disturbed while going thru it and recovering other than her children to see her.

Agreed- and she may need a gatekeeper to talk with them about how she's doing. Maybe that's something you can do- talk to her once a day and relay how she's doing to her family.
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Old 11-10-2007, 04:15 PM
 
Location: Beautiful Kentucky
820 posts, read 2,527,282 times
Reputation: 551
Depending on how old her children are, they probably don't belong in the hospital visiting anyway. I agree with the above that she needs to be completely honest, but also explain that company is not what she needs or wants. She can state that the Dr feels it better she not have visitors as well - just make sure the Doc knows her wishes. Then the nurses can even put a sign on the door for no visitors. As long as everyone's on the same page, hopefully they will respect her wishes. I'm a nurse, and people often don't understand that a room full of wellwishers really isn't what a person needs when recovering from surgery or illness.
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Old 11-10-2007, 07:25 PM
 
Location: NE Florida
9,362 posts, read 22,334,554 times
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She is thinking about telling them that she has to go out of town for a few days. When anyone is in the hospital, they just come by and take turns standing watch in the room. She thinks that they would cause a scene if they knew she was there but would not be permitted in the room.

I'm going to advise her to discuss it with the doc and see what she says.
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Old 11-10-2007, 09:29 PM
 
Location: in drifts of snow wherever you go
2,493 posts, read 3,058,527 times
Reputation: 692
Quote:
Originally Posted by HIF View Post
A friend is facing surgery and will be in the hospital for a couple of days. She doesn't want to tell her family, as she doesn't want them all hanging out concerned and negative beside her bed. She just wants to go in, have it done and be left alone until it's time to return home.

However, since she is a single mom, she will have to rely on them to take care of her kids, so she must disclose where she will be. She wouldn't mind having her kids in the room, just doesn't want the grandmother and other relatives around.

What can I suggest to her? I am not able to take her kids, so would like to give her some ideas on dealing with her family.
That's a tough one. I think she should make up a story about going away for a few days, or something like that. My number one fear is that if I became chronically ill and had to rely on my family for support. I think I would go into the woods, where it's peaceful, and take cyanide instead. I always feel for those people who become vegetables and for the rest of their lives they have their family feed them baby food and change their diapers.

greenie
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Old 11-10-2007, 09:33 PM
 
Location: in drifts of snow wherever you go
2,493 posts, read 3,058,527 times
Reputation: 692
Quote:
Originally Posted by HIF View Post
She is thinking about telling them that she has to go out of town for a few days. When anyone is in the hospital, they just come by and take turns standing watch in the room. She thinks that they would cause a scene if they knew she was there but would not be permitted in the room.

I'm going to advise her to discuss it with the doc and see what she says.
Excellent idea. Tell them she's going out of town. I would not discuss it with the doctors and nurses. What do they know? I mean, why bother talking to them. If I was having an operation, I would not tell my family, and I would not discuss it with the doctors. I'd have a friend come visit me and that's it....

greenie
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Old 11-10-2007, 09:35 PM
 
Location: in drifts of snow wherever you go
2,493 posts, read 3,058,527 times
Reputation: 692
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hawkeye48 View Post
I'd recommend she be very honest and open with her family up front. Surgery is very, very serious, even mild surgical procedures. Ninety-thousand people a year in the US catch an infection while they are in the hospital and die from it. That means they catch and die from an infection that they didn't have when they signed into the hospital. And 90 thousand is just the number of people who DIE from an infection they pickup in the hospital, not the total number who catch a serious infection and survive.


Safety of Our US Hospitals


WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Hospital practices are more to blame than how sick a person is for infections acquired by hospital patients, researchers reported on Monday, urging medical centers to do more to curb these infections.

The US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention last month estimated that infections caught in US hospitals kill 90,000 people annually and urged hospitals to do more to track and prevent the infections.


Even if everything goes as smooth as possible her family could become very upset at the fact she went in for something this serious and didn't tell them. It could make things much worse than they already are.
What a bunch of drama. Holy smokes!

All this woman wants to do is watch TV, sleep, and eat her jello.

greenie
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