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Just to wrap it up. She has decided to take divorce and move out because even if MIL lives in a nearby place, her husband's money and time would go there and sooner or later MIL will get sick and son this moving in issue would rise again. in the mean while he'll resent her for putting him in a difficult position because mum and siblings would make sure of it. She thinks that she has made enough sacrifices for her husband and if he keeps putting his family first then he should do it on his own. She wants to live her own life and rather go live with her parents once boys are gone to college. Her boys support their mother, after all they are their father's sons.
Then again, he is not the only child. Why would parents and siblings take advantage of emotional push overs? She can live with or near another child. He is already supporting financially, why can't another one support logistically? Single one doesn't have a spouse who needs to be consulted, so better position then other siblings.
I think because often in those cultures, only one child is groomed to be the caretaker. I've seen that very close up -- the others are encouraged to have their lives, their careers, their families, just one is expected to give up everything to live out her/his life as a caretaker. More often it seems to be a daughter that is selected and groomed.
Why does anyone have to have her come live with them? She's not incapacitated it sounds, she can take care of herself I assume.
Just to wrap it up. She has decided to take divorce and move out because even if MIL lives in a nearby place, her husband's money and time would go there and sooner or later MIL will get sick and son this moving in issue would rise again. in the mean while he'll resent her for putting him in a difficult position because mum and siblings would make sure of it. She thinks that she has made enough sacrifices for her husband and if he keeps putting his family first then he should do it on his own. She wants to live her own life and rather go live with her parents once boys are gone to college. Her boys support their mother, after all they are their father's sons.
Maybe that's the best since he would probably never be happy if he's not catering to his mommy's wishes. How sad -- but the mother in law is most likely very delighted and will have her son back taking all his orders.
That was my point of view, handing over everything to MIL is accepting defeat. However, she is sick and tired of this stressful life and being painted as the bad guy. She says let MIL win, I don't care.
Just to wrap it up. She has decided to take divorce and move out because even if MIL lives in a nearby place, her husband's money and time would go there and sooner or later MIL will get sick and son this moving in issue would rise again. in the mean while he'll resent her for putting him in a difficult position because mum and siblings would make sure of it. She thinks that she has made enough sacrifices for her husband and if he keeps putting his family first then he should do it on his own. She wants to live her own life and rather go live with her parents once boys are gone to college. Her boys support their mother, after all they are their father's sons.
Something else, too, is that she's "only" 70, and she could be around considerably longer (if she doesn't put everyone else in the grave first).
She wants to live her own life and rather go live with her parents once boys are gone to college. Her boys support their mother, after all they are their father's sons.
I fail to see how that is living her own life, but hey, that's just me.
I fail to see how that is living her own life, but hey, that's just me.
She is not moving in with her parents but her stance is that IF she EVER decided to be a long term care giver then she rather do it for her own parents who have no other child. They dont want her to do care for them and already have their long term care plans sorted out.Both her parents and her sons want her to enjoy life and find someone who doesn't have a prophecy to fulfill.
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Huh?
