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Old 07-26-2013, 09:50 AM
 
550 posts, read 833,320 times
Reputation: 669

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I have a coworker who is usually rude for no reason and always has a bad attitude. I passed her in the hallway and she says "you are really packing on the pounds lately huh?". I always try to avoid this coworker and her nasty attitude because shes older. but I just was caught off guard today and all I said was yep.
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Old 07-26-2013, 09:54 AM
 
Location: Atlanta, GA
60 posts, read 84,997 times
Reputation: 126
She's just an angry person and puts it onto others. She's a bully.

As the saying goes, showing kindness to your enemies is the same as heaping hot coals on their head. Don't give in to the nastiness. Kill her with kindness. She's just hurting inside.
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Old 07-26-2013, 10:25 AM
 
Location: Southern California
5,430 posts, read 8,143,854 times
Reputation: 5085
Woah, what nerve! You should have said, "What do you care?" I don't know how often you have to see her at work & I sure hope you don't have to actually work with her in any way, but just ignore her as much as possible. If you really want to try to get her, document her negative statements & take them to the higher-ups. Doesn't this fall into being able to sue for a hostile work environment?
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Old 07-26-2013, 10:36 AM
 
Location: Kirkwood, DE and beautiful SXM!
12,054 posts, read 20,249,072 times
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She did make a very rude and unappreciated comment but she didn't actually call you fat. I would keep a record of what she said with the date and time, along with your response. Do this for every instance. At some point, if this continues, you might want to speak with your supervisor about the situation. Your co-worker may be causing a hostile work environment for you, but suing is certainly not the answer, at least not at this time. You must establish that you followed procedure and that the company did not address the situation to your satisfaction. Once it is out of your hands, then see what management does. A lawsuit is generally not the answer unless the work environment is hostile, especially to the point where you find it too hostile to go to work. It would be interesting to see if she does this to just you or to your other co-workers. If she does this to others, how are they handling the situation.
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Old 07-26-2013, 10:42 AM
 
2,008 posts, read 2,190,965 times
Reputation: 3104
Rude but ignore it. Be the better person and kill her with kindness even
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Old 07-26-2013, 10:45 AM
 
16,720 posts, read 14,684,567 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by smalltowngirl25 View Post
I have a coworker who is usually rude for no reason and always has a bad attitude. I passed her in the hallway and she says "you are really packing on the pounds lately huh?". I always try to avoid this coworker and her nasty attitude because shes older. but I just was caught off guard today and all I said was yep.
I would have said, "At least I can diet; there's nothing you can do about f'ugly"
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Old 07-26-2013, 10:52 AM
 
Location: Not where I want to be
4,826 posts, read 7,269,892 times
Reputation: 7662
Quote:
Originally Posted by convextech View Post
I would have said, "At least I can diet; there's nothing you can do about f'ugly"

BAD advice!!! Had the OP said this, the rude co-worker could have run to supervisors or whatever and complained that the OP called her a name.


I agree with the others: Keep a log of everything that is said (date and time), in what context, and your response. If it continues and escalates, I would call a meeting with a supervisor and/or HR. After the meeting, I would follow up with an email outlining everything that was said in the meeting (and print out a copy of your email along with any responses from them)
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Old 07-26-2013, 11:09 AM
 
Location: New Jersey
1,823 posts, read 2,398,178 times
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"I figured if you can, why can't I?"
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Old 07-26-2013, 11:10 AM
 
20,533 posts, read 16,605,258 times
Reputation: 38545
I agree with the "kill her with kindness". I had a co-worker in my workplace who hated me from first sight for some unknown reason, I had never even spoken to her. She was rude and would do things for others and exclude me....I was not going to let someone else's rude behavior dictate my own, nor compromise my own personal standards for someone else (if someone else wants to crawl in the mud, that's on them, I like being clean). So I went out of my way to be nice to her, said "hello" even though she never said it back. It took a few months, but she started being nice back to me, and for the past 8 years we have been friendly with each other and have not had any issues at all.

Some people feel threatened by other people, it's not personal if they don't know you. Be the bigger person and take the high road. If you want to get under someone's skin though, IMO the best way to do it is by showing she has no effect on you. Saying something snarky back to them only lets them know they got under your skin.

I wouldn't go to HR as first line of defense, especially if you want to move up in the company. I think walking in and saying "Sally called me fat!" is going to make it seem as if you can't resolve conflict on your own. I would do it as a last resort only, JMO.
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Old 07-26-2013, 11:11 AM
 
7,495 posts, read 9,753,950 times
Reputation: 7394
Quote:
Originally Posted by smalltowngirl25 View Post
I have a coworker who is usually rude for no reason and always has a bad attitude. I passed her in the hallway and she says "you are really packing on the pounds lately huh?". I always try to avoid this coworker and her nasty attitude because shes older. but I just was caught off guard today and all I said was yep.
"But I'm still a spring chicken..."
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