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Old 07-31-2013, 03:15 PM
 
7,345 posts, read 13,162,921 times
Reputation: 8873

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Quote:
Originally Posted by furrypro View Post
I simply just don't follow through. But then he finds "pretexts" to get on my case about something.



I've been ignoring his requests. But he then finds "reasons" or "pretexts" to put me down or harass me later, as a punishment.
Then don't give him a whole information about anything. If he starts putting you down or harassing, terminate the conversation by hanging up the phone or walking away. Just disengage.
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Old 07-31-2013, 04:18 PM
 
Location: FL
353 posts, read 482,493 times
Reputation: 312
Quote:
Originally Posted by furrypro View Post
I have a problem with an overbearing self-inviting relative. He keeps trying to invite himself to social gatherings that I go to. He is free to attend alone without me but he keeps making demands and guilt-tripping me every now and again that I take him. He is not disabled or poor so I do not feel sorry for him at all. In fact I've seen disabled people handle themselves better. Does anyone know any methods on how to put a stop to the nagging or divert this?

Just because you are his relative, you are not obligated to entertain him. He has no right making demands, because he is not paying your bills. Looks like you relative needs to grow up and find something to do. Donít let him drag you down.
My relatives expect me to pay their bills without even asking how I am doing. I cut the duce off real quick.
We donít get to choose our families, but we can choose our friends that become our family. Everything negative should be out: less stress and happier life
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Old 07-31-2013, 07:10 PM
 
Location: California
313 posts, read 513,145 times
Reputation: 262
Even if it was a husband and wife situation where the husband was paying the bills the wife still has a right to her own life. I'm not sure why you brought up "paying bills".

Quote:
Originally Posted by lil_fox13 View Post
Just because you are his relative, you are not obligated to entertain him. He has no right making demands, because he is not paying your bills. Looks like you relative needs to grow up and find something to do. Donít let him drag you down.
My relatives expect me to pay their bills without even asking how I am doing. I cut the duce off real quick.
We donít get to choose our families, but we can choose our friends that become our family. Everything negative should be out: less stress and happier life
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Old 07-31-2013, 07:18 PM
 
Location: FL
353 posts, read 482,493 times
Reputation: 312
Quote:
Originally Posted by furrypro View Post
Even if it was a husband and wife situation where the husband was paying the bills the wife still has a right to her own life. I'm not sure why you brought up "paying bills".

Husband and wife situation is irrelevant to this one. If the relative was "paying the bills" maybe u would have to be a little more considered and fair. In this case, looks like you are just getting harassed.
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Old 07-31-2013, 07:49 PM
 
7,496 posts, read 9,705,656 times
Reputation: 7394
It sounds like reasoning with this guy won't work. He sounds like my mother's cousin. Ignore, ignore, ignore all attempts to contact you. Communicating will just encourage his nonsense. Good luck to you.
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Old 08-01-2013, 07:54 AM
 
Location: Right were I should be!
1,081 posts, read 1,469,580 times
Reputation: 1109
Confront him and let him know how you feel. If you can't do this, go to the person you're related through and explain it to them. Sometimes an annoying relative like this won't take what a younger person says seriously but will wise up when it becomes known to others in the family that they are being a jerk.


Good luck!
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Old 08-01-2013, 08:58 AM
 
Location: Western Washington
8,004 posts, read 9,997,551 times
Reputation: 19437
Quote:
Originally Posted by furrypro View Post
I agree. I just keep ignoring his requests and leaving them unfulfilled.
What is so bad about this person, that you don't want him around? You said you give in an "occasionally" include him...again, why is this such an issue with you? Exactly how would you feel, if the shoe was on the other foot? Is there something that your friends don't like about him, or does it bother you that he "competes" for your friends' attention, when he joins you. I'm with the above poster who says that more information is needed.
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Old 08-01-2013, 09:05 AM
 
108 posts, read 98,520 times
Reputation: 144
Quote:
Originally Posted by furrypro View Post
I have a problem with an overbearing self-inviting relative. He keeps trying to invite himself to social gatherings that I go to. He is free to attend alone without me but he keeps making demands and guilt-tripping me every now and again that I take him. He is not disabled or poor so I do not feel sorry for him at all. In fact I've seen disabled people handle themselves better. Does anyone know any methods on how to put a stop to the nagging or divert this?
Moderator cut: snip No one can make you feel sorry for them. You choose to do so and every time you take someone pushy to these gatherings, you reinforce the behavior you dislike. Even if it's every other time.

Practice saying "I am sorry but you'll have to find a ride."

Last edited by 7G9C4J2; 08-01-2013 at 11:45 AM.. Reason: removed insulting personal comment
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Old 08-01-2013, 09:08 AM
 
35,121 posts, read 39,943,702 times
Reputation: 62020
Quote:
Originally Posted by furrypro View Post
I have a problem with an overbearing self-inviting relative. He keeps trying to invite himself to social gatherings that I go to. He is free to attend alone without me but he keeps making demands and guilt-tripping me every now and again that I take him. He is not disabled or poor so I do not feel sorry for him at all. In fact I've seen disabled people handle themselves better. Does anyone know any methods on how to put a stop to the nagging or divert this?

The easiest way to tell someone to leave you alone that you are not going to take them anywhere is to say:

I am not taking you anywhere and do not ask again.

You have allowed him to continue to nag you because you have not told him straight out that you are not going to take him.

Also, why in the world would you allow anyone to "guilt trip" you?
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Old 08-01-2013, 09:29 AM
 
1,193 posts, read 1,528,333 times
Reputation: 3439
Quote:
Originally Posted by furrypro View Post
I have a problem with an overbearing self-inviting relative. He keeps trying to invite himself to social gatherings that I go to. He is free to attend alone without me but he keeps making demands and guilt-tripping me every now and again that I take him. He is not disabled or poor so I do not feel sorry for him at all. In fact I've seen disabled people handle themselves better. Does anyone know any methods on how to put a stop to the nagging or divert this?
First, I'd try to cut him a break. Probably he's doing this because he's lonely. Now, this doesn't mean you have to bring him with you everywhere you go, but there wouldn't be any harm with you hanging out with him every once in awhile either. Think of it as your good deed for the day. For the other times, simply "miss" his texts. Don't engage. Don't respond.
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