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Old 08-06-2013, 06:51 AM
 
Location: The West
350 posts, read 357,738 times
Reputation: 180

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Sorry, I'm new to the forums and just wanted some advice on the topic.

I'm 20, and I think I'm losing my friends to drugs and alcohol. We grew up together, but recently, they have been more focused on weed than anything else. Everytime we go somewhere, they feel the need to smoke up 2-3 times. It's a waste of time and it stinks...

Go to the movies? Oh yea lets get high first. Go to eat? Let's get high first. Coming back back? Let's smoke again. I get invited places and don't even know that they will be doing this. It's not like my friends are "cool" anyways. These morons go to clubs and bars thinking they are they sh*t when all they do is drink and smoke up in the corner like little kids scared of the big boys. Quite frankly, it's pissing me off. I don't care about weed, but It seems as if I can never go on an outing with them unless their is weed or booze involved.

Today was the last straw.. I waited for them to smoke before we ate. After we ate, they had to go somewhere to smoke again. They stopped at a bar to get drinks and smoked up AGAIN.

Now don't get me wrong.. Do whatever you want. However, the need to always smoke up and drink is getting annoying. Sadly, my other friends whom I go biking and watch movies with are away at school.

There's a time and place for everything right? What should I do? They are cool to chill with when "normal" but weed and booze are always in the way now and I've tolerated it long enough.
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Old 08-06-2013, 07:44 AM
 
Location: North America
19,634 posts, read 12,403,728 times
Reputation: 8282
Quote:
Originally Posted by MyronHarpoons View Post
Sorry, I'm new to the forums and just wanted some advice on the topic.

I'm 20, and I think I'm losing my friends to drugs and alcohol. We grew up together, but recently, they have been more focused on weed than anything else. Everytime we go somewhere, they feel the need to smoke up 2-3 times. It's a waste of time and it stinks...

Go to the movies? Oh yea lets get high first. Go to eat? Let's get high first. Coming back back? Let's smoke again. I get invited places and don't even know that they will be doing this. It's not like my friends are "cool" anyways. These morons go to clubs and bars thinking they are they sh*t when all they do is drink and smoke up in the corner like little kids scared of the big boys. Quite frankly, it's pissing me off. I don't care about weed, but It seems as if I can never go on an outing with them unless their is weed or booze involved.

Today was the last straw.. I waited for them to smoke before we ate. After we ate, they had to go somewhere to smoke again. They stopped at a bar to get drinks and smoked up AGAIN.

Now don't get me wrong.. Do whatever you want. However, the need to always smoke up and drink is getting annoying. Sadly, my other friends whom I go biking and watch movies with are away at school.

There's a time and place for everything right? What should I do? They are cool to chill with when "normal" but weed and booze are always in the way now and I've tolerated it long enough.

Cut him loose. It's hard, but it can be done. If this guy is all about getting high, then he has a problem.
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Old 08-06-2013, 10:03 AM
 
6,040 posts, read 4,413,701 times
Reputation: 16753
Before the weed apologists get on board and de-rail this thread let me just say you described perfectly the problem I have with weed and for that matter alcohol too, in some respects.

Whether you label it addiction or not...it's so freakin annoying to have friends unable to socialize unless it's preceded or followed up by getting high. Seriously...you can't not do it a few times? I mean I enjoy cigars a lot, but if I have a stretch of social situations where I cannot have one it doesn't affect my life or happiness even 1%.

The key to me is if they can't give it up willingly from time to time, there's a problem. I'm not sure what to label it, but there's something. If it's not addiction, then what is it? Terminal lame-ness? Low self esteem making them vulnerable to peer group pressure? No explanation really makes me want to remain friends with people like this.

For the record, I drink, and have smoked a few times.
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Old 08-06-2013, 10:18 AM
 
13,675 posts, read 13,509,678 times
Reputation: 39794
Get new friends. Your buddies are likely going through a phase, but you don't have to get sucked in. They're not going to change for you, and you're not happy with the situation, so it's time to start reaching out to other people.
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Old 08-06-2013, 10:26 AM
 
Location: Greenbelt, MD
8,937 posts, read 6,471,443 times
Reputation: 44228
Quote:
Now don't get me wrong.. Do whatever you want. However, the need to always smoke up and drink is getting annoying.
Not sure what you are looking for here.

Get new friends.

Problem solved!
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Old 08-06-2013, 10:40 AM
 
10,543 posts, read 11,992,301 times
Reputation: 2798
As others have said, you're better off moving on to new friends. Based on what you wrote, I think you know that but recognize it can be a hard thing to do. I would pick and choose the times that you might be more willing to spend time with them and make a gradual transition. I would fill other time with different activities and finding people you would enjoy more. It sounds like you're clear that this is not what you want your life to be, so find people that enjoy what you want your life to be.
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Old 08-06-2013, 10:42 AM
 
16,722 posts, read 14,626,024 times
Reputation: 41117
Default I think you've answered your own question

Quote:
Originally Posted by MyronHarpoons View Post
I've tolerated it long enough.
Just stop going over there when they smoke. Meet them at the restaurant to eat, then go on ahead to the bar without them. Make some new friends.

You don't have to leave them behind, you just leave out the part you don't like.
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Old 08-06-2013, 12:03 PM
 
Location: The West
350 posts, read 357,738 times
Reputation: 180
Thanks for the advice guys. I may just cut them off in some parts of my life.. I wont cater to them and plan around em. Im naturally introverted so ill be fine by myself.. Although making new friends might be hard.
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Old 08-06-2013, 12:12 PM
 
6,040 posts, read 4,413,701 times
Reputation: 16753
Quote:
Originally Posted by convextech View Post
Just stop going over there when they smoke. Meet them at the restaurant to eat, then go on ahead to the bar without them. Make some new friends.

You don't have to leave them behind, you just leave out the part you don't like.
This makes logical sense of course, but might be hard in practice.

I think what he's referring to (at least what I identified with) is that wherever they're at, there will be the point in time when the group takes a smoky smoke break. It might be hard to anticipate when they all decide to sneak away and harder still to extricate himself at that moment.
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Old 08-06-2013, 12:19 PM
 
16,722 posts, read 14,626,024 times
Reputation: 41117
Quote:
Originally Posted by elhelmete View Post
This makes logical sense of course, but might be hard in practice.

I think what he's referring to (at least what I identified with) is that wherever they're at, there will be the point in time when the group takes a smoky smoke break. It might be hard to anticipate when they all decide to sneak away and harder still to extricate himself at that moment.
Why the need to extricate? Just stay at the bar while they walk outside or wherever they're going to burn one. They already know he's not a smoker, I doubt they will care.

Just trying to recall my earlier years. LOL
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